endy 🌻
@AndresManuel_L
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I met a lot of v rude customers today, ty to those who treat their servers w kindness, u r superstars ☆〜（ゝ。∂）
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Shout out to everyone participating in Lent this season. Not religious but you guys make Fridays at a Korean BBQ so slow and I thank you
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Hope my future girl had her back blown out beautifully today, stay winning queen and enjoy the second best dick of your life 🥰
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She woke me up with her FaceTime and yelled “Oh wrong Andy” before hanging up
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When I die I want to be cremated and have my ashes thrown down Dua Lipa’s toilet. Do not flush I REPEAT, do not flush until you have confirmation she peed on me or I swear to god I’ll haunt you till the day you die. I’m annoying as hell irl you don’t wanna deal with ghost me.
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One of the main things I miss as a server was seeing people from school on their kbbq dates it was really cute, plus I could kick it at your table just chatting it up without getting scolded by a manager.
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Damn my sister has a boyfriend, knew she was dumb enough to fall for men
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Held a plank for 5 seconds and my foot cramped, imma take that as a sign to never exercise again
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sex is cool but dear god i'd love a day where we are fully staffed
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Cashier at Lowe’s was really sweet 2 me, now I wanna build her a table for our picnics
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Bored as fuck, breathe on this tweet if you want me to draw you
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if you are removed from my life (and Instagram) over the next couple weeks just know everything was your fault and you aren’t sexy
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Just got word that the last dude who actively prayed on my downfall has been struggling with a meth addiction for the past couple years. Once again God is good 🙏🏽
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In elementary I made fun of some kid telling him Michael Jackson died on his birthday to get out of celebrating it. Dude was a big MJ fan, I think about this and karma more often than I’d like to admit.
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Lightwork, give me 40 more
just ordered 40 nuggets, gonna see how many i can eat before i KO
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Seeing La Palma park empty this week doesn't sit right with 10yr old me
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Fuck the DMV. All I did was hit ONE kid during my behind the wheel test aaaaaaaand all of a sudden my perfect run becomes an automatic failure smh 😔
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day 1 of this weather and we're already eating pozole like it's cereal
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Don’t know what I want from this life but I’m sure it isn’t you tf
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That’s honestly the most American way to start off the new year and I hate it
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I want to hoe around but I don’t want rona. I guess the hardest choices DO require the strongest wills 😔
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Sick so now we are back to square 1 because America just had to be America
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My sister just told me my haircut makes my forehead look bigger. I am no longer feeling myself, instead I will be killing myself 🙇♂️
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Fuck finals with my whole heart. I will be sleeping in from today till 2022 thank you very much
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Tired of this single shit. If it’s the same story by next year I’m straight up stealing Christmas 💯
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This guy would brag about how he’d take advantage of drunk girls at parties. With all disrespect I hope he stays down
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Been waiting way too long to see my sister graduate, the CEO of COVID-19 better quit playing
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Please stay safe everyone, I’d hate to see you guys lose all your swag to COVID 😔
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I can feel Vicente Fernández frown upon me whenever I start talking to another white girl
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Today really solidified important things for me and left me feeling better than ever. I loved learning I had a lot more people in my corner who care than what I initially thought. Something great in knowing I’m not suffering alone with so many people offering a shoulder to cry on
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I hate existing without my glasses, it's all just one long blurry headache
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Okay yeah I’ll be the first to admit maybe this should’ve gone straight to the drafts idk
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some motherfucker doordashed themselves $77 worth of food to themselves with my information
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The fact that there are 7.8 million people on Earth and I am single is pretty understandable
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Too late for me but I’ll ensure my child has drip from the womb to the tomb
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Easily the shittiest thanksgiving of my entire life and it’s not even 7pm yet. Wishing you guys a good one though, better days ahead I guess 🧍🏻♂️
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why did kids put empty takis bags on the cover of their binders? lowkey thought they were saving it until they found a trashcan but that shit would just make me hungry seeing it in class :/
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Good morning to everyone but that piece of shit that stole $400 from my mom on mother's day
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This guy Pablo has been hitting my mom up for years but never fully shoots his shot, dude better hurry up I’m getting tired of waiting for a step sister 🙄
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The Sonic movie was pretty cool but idk why Sonic had to call Shadow the N word
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David said "i love you' and i responded with "thank you" holy fuck i'm broken
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Yo fuck this semester I just want head while watching Cars 2 in theaters
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Ayo we really got to do something about these Latinos for trump though, they cannot be let off the hook that easily shit was EMBARRASSING 😕
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Nvm God is good
my mom takes my sister out for hours and i stay home alone with my hurt feelings wth
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Wanda & Vision bonding over Malcolm in the Middle made my heart happy
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I got a B- on my English midterm so I felt I earned the right to cancel class for myself today 😌
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Got a new yt vid downloader, this is now a Bojack Horseman fan account
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I like to pimp out my playlists for my 2 followers. Love you guys, you keep me goin'
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Top 3 coolest ways to die:
1 - Playboi Carti Moshpit
2 - In between your thighs
3 - Drowning after tipping the iceberg
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Went back to my favorite drawing to remind myself I am a king but then I remembered my brother does self portraits as warm ups :/
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the world would be in the palm of my hand if mario kart was an esport
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Real shit though my parents have been divorced for over 15 years and my mom hasn’t pursued anyone else since. In that time frame she’s single handedly raised 3 arrogant ass children with me being the worst one. Our relationship is far from perfect but she deserves to be happy too
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I’ll have a glass of soda for breakfast and wonder why my stomach hurts
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just ordered 40 nuggets, gonna see how many i can eat before i KO
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Homie just checked if my 10 was a fake. I guess I really do dress like a fucking bum 🧍♂️
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