Alie Ward
@alieward
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Hi I host the science/comedy podcast @Ologies , co-host 100 Humans & Brainchild on Netflix, CBS’s Innovation Nation + host CW’s Did I Mention Invention? She/her
Los Angeles, CA/Tongva land
Joined August 2008
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ANILPIN WE ARE THE ONE
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SEVENTEEN AT LOLLAPALOOZA
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Not Like Us
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#HereWeGo
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Pinned Tweet
Hello new folks! Each week I put out a new
@Ologies
science/comedy podcast ep w/ an expert ologist, wherein I ask smart people stupid questions. I also host the CW science show
@CWInventionTV
, am a correspondent for
@CBSInnovationTV
, your Science Friend on
@netflix
’s
#Brainchild
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If they care about children
why do school teachers have to buy their own supplies
why is healthcare a for-profit industry
why do they pretend like the planet isn’t being ruined
why are children detained in cages
why do they favor gun lobbies over victims
They. Don’t. Care.
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We interrupt this pandemic to tell you about a spy balloon to tell you about a UFO to tell you about an airborne toxic event cover-up to tell you about another UFO
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what if you -- stick with me here -- got the vaccine so that you don't die
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When ur working on a thing but don't want to show it to anyone because what if belong in toilet
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Fun facts: Lonnie Johnson is a Black aerospace engineer who helped NASA launch the Galileo mission to Jupiter and also invented the SuperSoaker so that his daughter could hose the neighbors AND ALSO FOR THIS
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#ShareYourRejection
: I’ve been told over & over by major cable networks that viewers don’t want to see a woman hosting a science show. But today I’m meeting up with my showrunner to see the 1st cut of my own science show, premiering on broadcast TV next month. Keep being you.
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The world can be bad but on the upside, I have adopted an elderly teacup werewolf
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Police responding to accusations of police brutality with ... police brutality
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I definitely don’t want to name names but I’ve pitched one network a few times & they said their viewers “don’t want to hear about science from a woman” & recently said Ologies wouldn’t work for them b/c “they don’t do travel shows.”
Hmm. Bummer.
PERHAPS ANOTHER NETWORK THEN.
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Twitter right now is like when a plane hits turbulence and the lady next to you starts praying
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I’m excited to announce my candidacy for president here is my speech: all the golf courses become dog parks
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BREAKING: Several Celebrities Test Positive for COVID-19 Because They Are in Countries Which Have Tests
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Experiment:
RT if you’ve heard a woman you love and respect say negative things about her body.
Then fave if you’ve been upset with yourself for not looking like you think you’re supposed to.
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Thread: Lemme tell you about the time I started to get the flu over the holidays so I quickly booked a hotel so as not to infect my sisters’ kids but the hotel was very gross & then I had the flu alone in a gross hotel near a freeway. It was today. I’m eating cheetos. 1/1
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Take more nudes while you’re young! Some day you’ll look back on them to figure out if the pimple on your chest is slow growing cancer
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when it comes to covid holiday precautions, be the bummer you want to see in the world ❤️
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PENCE TALKING ROSE GARDEN PARTY, SAYING THEY LET AMERICANS MAKE DECISIONS ABOUT THEIR OWN BODIES LOLOL
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no Soundcloud, but listen to this 2-part
@ologies
w/ Dr. Renee Engeln about how beauty standards effect the mental & physical health of everyone: men, women, kids, LGBTQ+ folks and how it’s costing us money, time & even our lives. She changed *my* life.
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Hey there, I’m not seeing my family for Thanksgiving because COVID rates are truly terrifying. I hope everyone will consider sacrificing in-person holidays this year to save lives.
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Hey it’s a hard time and if your partner is suffering depression (or feeling sluggish, tired) it’s almost always because they don’t love you, which is your fault. Hope that helps 💖
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If you wouldn’t post pictures of a gathering because it’d look risky, you should not be attending the gathering
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HI I GOT NOMINATED FOR TWO EMMYS TODAY, so that’s very nice surprise
(yay
@MoRocca
&
@CBSInnovationTV
!)
The
#DaytimeEmmys
nominees in DAYTIME HOST are...
Jeff Corwin │
@wildcorwin
Joseph Gordon-Levitt │
@hitRECordJoe
@HBO
@SesameStreet
Mo Rocca & Alie Ward │
@MoRocca
@alieward
@CBS
Mike Rowe │
@mikeroweworks
@FacebookWatch
Andrew Zimmern │
@andrewzimmern
@travelchannel
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TWITTER WE NEED A CHRONOLOGICAL TIMELINE DO NOT GIVE ME CORNDOG TWEETS FROM 2 DAYS AGO
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My vaccinated dad has
#MultipleMyeloma
.
If you’re still on the fence about 💉but would help a stranger change a tire or catch a neighbor’s runaway dog, think of the vaccine as seriously good samaritan points. It’s a very easy incredibly lazy way to save a life.
📍Folks need to know this—
#ColinPowell
had multiple myeloma—a cancer of plasma cells that **makes antibodies**. Thus, vaccines are weaker in myeloma patients because we kill the cells that make antibodies with our myeloma treatments. Please vax to protect others.🧵
HT
@VincentRK
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Imagine being a *billionaire* — you can have anything you want — and the thing you want is ... to make trans folks feel bad? What a weird, sad waste of your bad life
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This is a big deal to me and thank you so much
@cityofstem
[cryface emoji]
Congratulations to
@alieward
for being selected as the 2020 City of STEM Icon Award recipient.
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I keep refreshing this website hoping to see some consequences but
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Just a reminder that you have one body to last forever so you can wear a mask wherever you feel like it and fuck anyone who pressures you to take it off
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“Banned” was hyperbole — I just think this logic is flawed, harmful & people shouldn’t make money off of making women feel bad— but Macy’s agrees and is pulling them. General sidenote: speak up for others, contact your reps & vote in local, state & national elections k thanx
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Hey. Someone you love is afraid to bail on holiday plans because you might be upset with them, but cancelling this year might save their/your/other people’s lives. So they screencapped & texted you this tweet. Thanks for forgiving them so people can stay alive. They’ll Zoom ya.
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Hey whoever’s running the simulation, you burned the wrong amazon
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THIS JUST IN:
@TheCW
gave me my own science show.
- it’s
@CWInventionTV
- premieres Oct. 6
- airs every Saturday morning
- I’m freaking out
#DidIMentionInvention
w/
@alieward
is bringing viewers fascinating stories of invention while shining a light on everyday innovators! Series Premiere, October 6th on
@CWMagnificent
! Learn more:
@thehenryford
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I accidentally got upgraded to first class and people here watch phone videos with the sound up and chew with their mouths open and this is not worth it
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Not sure about you, but I'm at the pandemic stage-of-grief that is just anger. Rates are about to spike and I'm just so fucking mad.
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I worry about not returning emails fast enough and being bad at my job. Meanwhile, a man we pay to run the country just recommended shooting up with toilet cleaner
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Derek. Chauvin. MURDER. Trial.
Not the "George Floyd death trial," Fox News.
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Ah, the sweet solace of party FOMO being replaced by disgust for gatherings
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Is it ADHD, or just tough to ignore a diseased and crumbling democracy
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Did he just say that insulin is so cheap, it’s like water? Did he say that?
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A great day for democracy, women, equality, poetry, safety and if I’m honest COATS. The coats!
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When Mr. Rogers said “look for the helpers,” honestly how many of you thought of cops with guns, me neither
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For fun I just set a timer to see how long a task would take; I guessed 1 hour and it only took 6 1/2 hours!
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Hey hot tip: you don’t have to drink at holiday parties to fit in or to be looser or more likable. You’re great as you are and if you don’t want to be there, stay home or leave early & say you have a cold. Anyone who judges you for not drinking has their own issues with it. K bye
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And if you ARE open to hearing someone w/o a dick talk about science, please do check out my podcast
@ologies
, or
@CWInventionTV
or
@CBSInnovationTV
or
#Brainchild
on
@netflix
JUST SAYIN.
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@LadyNaturalist
@Discovery
I mean. It’s fine. I already am on 5 shows & have my own network science show
@CWInventionTV
and two
@netflix
science shows & a top ten science podcast and have one Emmy and am now nominated for another for
@CBSInnovationTV
buuuut, I’m sure they have more qualified candidates 💅
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is it an anxiety disorder or are they criminalizing the identies of the most vulnerable people two years into a pandemic at the launch of world war III
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Currently feeling like a shelter dog on its freedom ride from a high kill shelter tbh
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just change the Biden/Harris campaign slogan to “Will you shut up, man?”
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HUMAN 👏 FEMALES 👏DO 👏NOT 👏UNDERGO 👏PARTHENOGENESIS 👏PLEASE 👏GOOGLE 👏THAT 👏AND 👏SLAM YOUR 👏SPERM 👏WAND 👏IN 👏A👏 DOOR
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Hi I’m here to inform you that “Maps” by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs came out 17 years ago unnngh what is time
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Fellow white people who don’t want to speak up in support because we might do it wrong: there is no such thing as a silent ally. This is America’s fight. Let’s listen. Let’s speak up. Let’s hear how we can support better.
#BlackLivesMatter
. We are in this.
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They would never make you pre-register, show ID, or wait 10 hours in line to pay taxes
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guliani's upper teeth in the streets, guliani's lower teeth in the sheets
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Aaaah,
@Ologies
is in the
@NewYorker
!
Honestly broke out in a sweat when I saw this. Thank you
@rachsyme
&
@anna__rupprecht
for this truly flattering write-up. I feel so seen, and so much more important than I actually am. ✨🙏 ✨
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Are we all afraid of life returning to "normal" because we never rested during this relaxing downtime, or
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Ladies, may we all aspire to take up more space in 2020, LIKE THIS DUDE AT A COFFEE BEAN
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No sir you do NOT get to be a turdnoodle backing a bigot ogre for 4 years then save your own alabaster ass at the 11th hour
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That drone show was by
@VergeAero
! I got to interview the inventor for
@CBSInnovationTV
a few months ago— sooo exciting to see them celebrate 46! Here’s some behind the scenes:
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Just saw someone get arrested at Disneyland and it was exactly the jarring thrill I always hoped it would be
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Isn’t it cool that you can save lives just by powering through some very disappointing canned soup
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If you nixed Thanksgiving, reply letting me know your fam/friends’ reactions. Disowned you forever? Said “hey we understand, it’s for the best”?
ITS OKAY TO CANCEL, FOLKS
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I’m “are men finally respecting women’s boundaries, or am I getting uglier?” years old
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@annrinehart
@haley_iliff
I hate to be This Person, but is that smöl beast taking a roof dookie? Raccoons have regular latrines, sometimes on roofs, and can also carry (I wish I were kidding) brain eating roundworm parasites in their poo. Might want to look into it! IM SO SORRY
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I assure you I could take New Frizzle in a fight
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Nevada, until 270 members of our party are here they can’t seat us for brunch
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You greedy fucking idiot
Our people want to return to work. They will practice Social Distancing and all else, and Seniors will be watched over protectively & lovingly. We can do two things together. THE CURE CANNOT BE WORSE (by far) THAN THE PROBLEM! Congress MUST ACT NOW. We will come back strong!
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this president is a kidney stone and i hope this is the homestretch of our pee tubes
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Previous residents of my place were Republican so I get weird junk mailers and y’all — that party is TERRIFIED of a big voter turnout and scared shitless of the power of mail-in ballots. Pass it on
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Even cooler than that aging app is that if you’re a real life older woman you turn invisible
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Hi it’s me, the lady mouthing “I love you” across the room to her dog
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Hi I’m on a brand new
@Netflix
science show produced by
@Pharrell
Williams and it’s officially up! It’s called
#Brainchild
and is so weird & funny & empathetic and I’m so proud to be involved — also it’s kid-safe and I have a beehive in every episode:
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