Alexander
@Alex_9167
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19,073
Following
6,098
Media
86
Statuses
76,313
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After you cum inside her
Birth control pills:
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How I met my girlfriend VS how she is now.
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Nobody wants you, but the moment you’re in a relationship..BOOM! Rihanna sends you a Dm.
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I cook my own meals, I barely eat out.
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When my original iPhone charger starts to show “your accessory isn’t supported”
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If you didn’t come from a rich family, a rich family will come from you. Claim it!
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Covid-19 after arriving Africa and experiencing different levels of immune systems.
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She so fine,I gotta I can’t feed her
Dm her and tell her With my feelings,
Exactly how I feel. gotta get this bag
First.
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Most people just go ahead and starve bc of laziness to cook 😂
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Checking your results online after tweeting the entire semester instead of reading.
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When I decide to study for a test and remember i could actually flip through the pages in the morning.
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I tweet this with tears in my eyes. These children don’t deserve a childhood like this. Nobody deserves this💔
#CongolsBleeding
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Your mum laughing at a scene from her favorite tv show and eventually turns to see you that has been failing in school.
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Parents when they stumble on their daughter’s Instagram profile 😂
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I noticed that Nigerians never want to have anything to do with knowledgeable tweets or articles they see here, all they want to see is rubbish
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Before joining After joining
Twitter. Twitter.
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When I try to catch feelings and eventually remember my peace of mind.
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After a breakup, block them everywhere on social media, delete ever memory you had of them, that includes pictures,texts,videos. It helps with the healing process.
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“Naira Marley is amazing,you should try listen to him more”
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When they think I can’t do without them.
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After turning off “read recipients” on WhatsApp
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Relationship twitter: “my heart in human form”
Single twitter:
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I need a woman whose mother sells food or food stuffs in Anambra for a serious relationship that will lead to marriage.
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When the entire family is laughing at a funny program on tv... but you failed jamb.
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Me watching my sibling walk into a family gathering with my favorite T-shirt.
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When you gotta FaceTime in class and focus on the teacher at the same time.😂
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When you remember how many kids you and your ex planned on having.
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After disabling WhatsApp from settings so I can tweet in peace>>>>>
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Y’all go listen to “song for the ville” this man is the love of my life!♥️
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When you buy the new iPhone 11pro from computer village and find out the battery is removable.
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Try going to bed by 2am and let your alarm ring by 5am, it’ll have you promising to sleep by 8pm the next day.
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“Yo bro you at home? Let’s link”
Me: nah man , hectic day bro, I’m omw home, I’ll call you when I arrive.
Me all along:
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Nobody:
Not a single soul:
Girls when there’s no sign of attention:
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I’m a rap artist and a song writer in need of a label to manage my talent and help put my work out to the world, my music is too Hot to be left unnoticed.
It takes only a second to RT.
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When a woman suddenly sends me “hi babe” after three months of no texting.
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Whenever i remember I’m 23years old and still living with my parents
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When your battery level is at 10% but yet you keep playing subway surfers.
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When meek said “The amount of distance you kept during my struggle, please double that during my success”, I felt that.
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When they’re discussing about the answers to the questions after an exam and I’m not familiar with any.
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Waiting for my phone to get to 100% so I can start operating it.
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They disbanded sars, but the same unit that was allegedly disbanded is currently picking innocent people from their homes in yaba right now.
#EndsSARS
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When you’re still choking from the first hit and they already passing the blunt back.😂
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When you’re at a party and use a flask to gather food instead of a nylon bag.
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Someone said SWAT means
S - Sars
W - with
A - advanced
T - Tactics.
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You said you can’t I’m on life support
Breathe a single
day Without me.
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When you begin to talk to God everyday, you’ll also get peace of mind as an extra package from him.
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I’ve never really understood the reason behind this celebration,I mean it’s just like every other day of your life 🤷🏾♂️
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Nobody :
Not a single soul :
Me :I study more better at night
9:30pm :
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When you calm down for a second and remember the best time to study is the night before the actual exam.
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It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.
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Me after getting a “I always feel safe around you” message from my crush.
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When your baby toe hits the wrong part of a furniture.
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My toxic trait : I never think I’m good enough for someone so I end up overthinking until the doubt eats me up completely.
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Commitments always ends in tears, let’s just smash and talk about how our day went>>>>>>>>
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Everybody suddenly starts to respond to your texts the moment you start to become relevant.
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When you stayed up until 4am and your alarm rings two hours later.
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Who else is at that point where they don’t enjoy the music anymore if they’re not high?
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“I’m still trying to come up, I don’t really have much right now financially,but I have so much love to give you”
Igbo girls :
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Everyone is trying to love you except the person you actually want.
22
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At this stage I’m tired of chasing women, I want to be chased too.
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I pray you don’t end up with a partner that never appreciates a single thing you do towards showing them off or telling them how much they mean to you 💔
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Scrolling through the internet then realizing for a moment your life is actually in shambles.
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The moment she sets her pride aside and start to text you first everyday, keep her bc she values you.
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Please forgive me lord for the times I neglected you, without you I am NOTHING!
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My homie telling me about the new girl he met whilst money is the only discussion I’m rooting for.
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If I’m in love with you and I find out you did this with someone else, no reason would be good enough to justify your actions.💔
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