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Youssef Hassan Profile
Youssef Hassan

@AboElJoe

Followers
1,690
Following
116
Media
316
Statuses
959

Whimsical in nature.

Cairo, Egypt
Joined January 2011
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
10 years
It's like I have so much to say about a lot of things, but at the same time I feel like it's just not worth the hassle.
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
9 years
Best friend goals tbh. http://t.co/bC8Wg2KXvi
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
7 years
Me: Ana nazel shewya Mom: nazel ma3 meen? Me: nazel ana wel
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
10 years
- Talk dirty to me - Yabent el kalb ya weskha
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
11 years
My life is a series of "I'm joking but I'm serious if you are" moments.
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
10 years
When a song plays and it reminds you of your bae: http://t.co/iN5WlfmGBt
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
11 years
Booty was so allahu ama saly 3ala naby.
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
11 years
Assignment Assignmen Assignme Assignm Assign Assig Assi Ass Ass Ass Ass Ass Stop! Now make that muthafuckin' hammer time like oooohoooohooo!
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
12 years
Blame movies for making every teenager believe that the meaning of happiness is to have a girlfriend/boyfriend.
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
7 years
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
11 years
So tell me, Egyptians. What's wrong with hugs again?
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
12 years
Sometimes I read my own tweets and laugh because I'm a strong independent black woman who don't need no man.
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
11 years
"Eh ra2yoko fel ma7shy?" "7elw!" "Tayeb wel ferakh?" "7elwa.." "Wel salat-MAKHALAS YA WELEYA 3AWZEEN NETFA7!"
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
7 years
It’s 2004, you just got home from school after you got bullied and beaten. No one is home. You’re eating some leftovers and watching your favorite cartoon. Life is not good, but you don’t know better. Stop romanticizing the past, it’s never as good as you think it was.
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
10 years
Kill the urge to often say something about yourself when others mention something personal.
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
11 years
"Society killed the teenager.." "Tayeb ezay?" "Malaksh da3wa elmohem eny deep w shab tumblr, w bardo society killed the teenager."
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
10 years
As much as I hate tweeting stuff like this, but lately I've been relating to this a lot.. http://t.co/W343GofuO9
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
10 years
If someone didn't text you or generally ask about you for a while, it's okay because, you're not the center of the fucking universe.
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
11 years
- Alo! McDonald's? - Aywa ya fandem 7adretak te7eb totlob eh? - What she order? - Meen deh 7adretak? - FISH FILLET! - Na3am? - BALL SO HARD!
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
11 years
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
11 years
شاهد قبل الحذف: الفنان كانيه وست يعلن إسلامه و يكبّر بيديه. http://t.co/lhX1klxWPg
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
11 years
When me and my friends listen to our favorite song: http://t.co/2p2RGYpL1E
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
10 years
I might not be that funny or athletic or charming or good looking or smart or talented okay I forgot where I was going with this.
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
12 years
Skyping with Skype test call. I think she's the one.
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
12 years
Tecktonik takes "الوضوء" to a whole new level.
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
9 years
*does nice things for other people* Karma: Seen.
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
12 years
You think you're hot? You think you're beautiful? You think you're both? Here, die. http://t.co/4qNEjKSi
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
10 years
الواد ده حلو حامد سنو.
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
10 years
Ana awel youm el 3eed: http://t.co/MJLn5qSPnN
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
11 years
Just because I'm not tweeting doesn't mean that I'm not reading your tweets, in my Winnie The Pooh pajamas, listening to Lady Gaga, crying..
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
12 years
Here's a photo of me with the people who love me. http://t.co/1IcmJkaQjh
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
12 years
*Phone ringing*, *picks up*. "Alo!" "Eh ya zemeeeleeey!" *hangs up*.
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
11 years
Ana 3amel formet el six fats.
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
12 years
Excuse my French but I'm in Egypt, jooh vodreehz alleeh aux tewalet!
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
9 years
Don't open up for anyone, you'll regret it. Try to work through your problems yourself, you're yourself's best friend.
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
10 years
The only thing worse than being sad is when your sadness is so noticable that everyone you meet mentions it.
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
11 years
The Great Hiussen el Gatsby.
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
11 years
*pulls away from kissing* Ana elhamdolellah kwayes, ezay 7adretek enty ya tante?
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
10 years
Meanwhile on Humans of Cairo: "What's the most exciting thing you've done in your life?" "Wenta mal deen omak?"
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
10 years
Me: 👠 You: 👡
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
8 years
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
12 years
My face brings all the girls to the yard and they're like: "weshak dah wala wesh regly?"
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
10 years
Forever not knowing what to call my grandma's sister.
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
11 years
السواج شئ لا يشتري. http://t.co/yPugAlhiLB
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
11 years
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
11 years
When I meet a girl for the first time: http://t.co/N7xeBzl2X8
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
12 years
Sorry Valentine's day, I'm Youssef.
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
11 years
Ain't nobody fucking with my clique. http://t.co/pOetTZYi3x
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
11 years
Ahlan ahlan ahlan ahlan ya 7abayby etfadalo ahlan ahlan nawarto ahlan ah-KEFAYA YA WELEYA A7A?!
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
12 years
I've never drank liquor/ate pork/had sex and I'm still going to hell.
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
12 years
JESUS OUR LORD AND SAVIOR IS HERE! http://t.co/QIyqySLr
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
12 years
What doesn't kill you, depresses the shit out of you and makes you wanna die.
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
11 years
I want to tweet about how sad I am but I hate sad tweets so I'm gonna tweet about why shouldn't I tweet them and then I won't and so on.
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
9 years
You didn't deserve all the music I shared with you.
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
11 years
"Hi!" "Sorry mabakalemesh welad mesh infinite."
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
12 years
Walk into the club like what up I got a big cock that I don't get to use because I'm ugly and I'm very nice to girls.
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
11 years
Lil Wayne: "Aaaah!" His mom: "Eh yabny malak feek eh!" Lil: "Amillie amillie amillie!" Lil's mom: "Yarab howa ana leeh khaleft el 3ars dah?"
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
5 years
I have the best girlfriend in the world and I’m so thankful for her existence in my life.
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
10 years
Stop blaming people for leaving and ask yourself why did they leave in the first place, maybe you're not as great as you think you are.
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
12 years
Oh, you know, I'm just being me.. http://t.co/Gtsv6gGd
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
10 years
"Dakhleya caught a body about a week ago, week ago!" http://t.co/HkOBGCAH5d
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
11 years
Egyptian/Syrian/Lebanese/Brazilian/Canadian/mommy kanet me2adeyaha/American.
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
9 years
Damn, you're so attractive. Let me follow you and never talk to you.
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
11 years
Me: "Enta feen?" Kanye West: "Ana fel building." Me: "Bete3mel eh?" K: "Ba-swaggin' on a hundred thousand trillion." Me: "Tayeb khod balak."
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
8 years
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
10 years
No, no one is trying to "see you fall" or "bring you down", you have to understand that nobody cares, like, at all, just chill.
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
11 years
Pizza is like pizza, even if it's bad, it's pretty good.
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
11 years
Maybe people hate you for a reason, you know, like your piece of shit personality or your bitch ass attitude. I'm just saying, you whore.
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
8 years
Kinda wanna take you out to dinner, kinda want you to be my dinner.
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
11 years
Wake me up when sept-- you know what? Don't wake me up, up up up up up, don't wake me, DON'T WAKE ME UUUUUHUUUUUUHUUUUUUUUP!
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
11 years
3amatan Teletubbies dol welad weskha kolohom.
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
10 years
I put my phone on silent when I go to sleep as if there's anyone who would actually call.
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
3 years
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
11 years
و ليس قرب قبر حرب قبر رقب برق رعد ربق قرق برب.
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
11 years
Woke up in the morning feeling like I'm never good enough for anyone or anything why do I suck so hard I wanna die.
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
10 years
Booty had me like http://t.co/LstfrHalS8
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
11 years
'Cause you'll never feel this pretty, wenty feeky shabah mn 3amety'
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
9 years
I wanna buy a pillow that has boobs so I can call it makha-titty.
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
11 years
شاهد قبل الحذف, ابطال مارفل يعلنون اسلامهم و يأدون فريضة الصلاه. http://t.co/pYNoiCAX7s
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
11 years
3amatan I, I, can't deny the way you caught my eye eye, besmellah mashallah rabeena ye7meeky.
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
9 years
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
11 years
GUYS MESH HOWA DAH GASSER BETA3 TWITTER???!!! http://t.co/eDl2rKKj7A
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
11 years
Look ma! No friends, no love life, no life accomplishments, no bright future. Ma, do you even exist? Oh.. No ma also..
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
11 years
"Barsem malame7 weshek b dokhan segarty.." "Tayeb ezay?" "Malaksh da3wa elmohem eny deep, w bardo barsem malame7 weshek b dokhan segarty."
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
11 years
No new friends, no old friends, no current friends, no friends at all, no no no.
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
11 years
RT @UberFacts The world's sexiest/funniest guy is a teenager who lives in Egypt and is called Youssef Hassan.
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
11 years
When girls are 5atepty. ❤️ http://t.co/dxP8sdQJ7J
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
11 years
*pats on a friend's back* Her: "EH ELY ENTA BET3MELO DAH DON'T TOUCH ME!" Me: "Kefaya mashakel el 3alam el talet deh ba2a a7a.."
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
11 years
- How's your love life? http://t.co/JhdFpQFOX5
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
12 years
Don't ever judge anyone by their looks. You don't know what they've been through, ya tkheen yabnel tekheena.
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
11 years
(They know, they know, they know): إطناب بالتكرار قاله Drake لتوضيح، و يمكن توكيد يوحي بشدة معرفتهم.
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
5 years
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
12 years
"I love you!" "Thanks. Kosomak. Kosom masha3rak. Kosom ely gabook. Kosom weshak. Kosom khel2etak. Kosom your existence."
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
12 years
I listen to The Weeknd, Drake, Frank Ocean and Miguel and I'm still a virgin.
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
7 years
🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺 🌺 🌺 🌺 🌺 🌺 🌺 🌺 🌺 🌺 🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺ebby.
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
11 years
My relative: Youssef enta mesh betde7ak leeh? Me: La mana bad7ak aho. #Kalam3azayem http://t.co/Y829KpMG5e
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
10 years
Sext: mateegy neftar 3ala ba3d? ;)
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
11 years
المجد لدين أم المومنت بنت الوسخة البضينة you go like كس أمي بقي لووول hhhhhh احمد حلمي هاني رمزي نيك!
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@AboElJoe
Youssef Hassan
12 years
You know what happens when you care? ....You die.
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