Youssef Hassan
@AboElJoe
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1,690
Following
116
Media
316
Statuses
959
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Pinned Tweet
It's like I have so much to say about a lot of things, but at the same time I feel like it's just not worth the hassle.
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Me: Ana nazel shewya
Mom: nazel ma3 meen?
Me: nazel ana wel
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My life is a series of "I'm joking but I'm serious if you are" moments.
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Assignment
Assignmen
Assignme
Assignm
Assign
Assig
Assi
Ass
Ass
Ass
Ass
Ass
Stop! Now make that muthafuckin' hammer time like oooohoooohooo!
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Blame movies for making every teenager believe that the meaning of happiness is to have a girlfriend/boyfriend.
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Sometimes I read my own tweets and laugh because I'm a strong independent black woman who don't need no man.
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"Eh ra2yoko fel ma7shy?" "7elw!" "Tayeb wel ferakh?" "7elwa.." "Wel salat-MAKHALAS YA WELEYA 3AWZEEN NETFA7!"
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It’s 2004, you just got home from school after you got bullied and beaten. No one is home. You’re eating some leftovers and watching your favorite cartoon. Life is not good, but you don’t know better. Stop romanticizing the past, it’s never as good as you think it was.
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Kill the urge to often say something about yourself when others mention something personal.
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"Society killed the teenager.." "Tayeb ezay?" "Malaksh da3wa elmohem eny deep w shab tumblr, w bardo society killed the teenager."
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As much as I hate tweeting stuff like this, but lately I've been relating to this a lot..
http://t.co/W343GofuO9
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If someone didn't text you or generally ask about you for a while, it's okay because, you're not the center of the fucking universe.
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- Alo! McDonald's? - Aywa ya fandem 7adretak te7eb totlob eh? - What she order? - Meen deh 7adretak? - FISH FILLET! - Na3am? - BALL SO HARD!
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I might not be that funny or athletic or charming or good looking or smart or talented okay I forgot where I was going with this.
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You think you're hot? You think you're beautiful? You think you're both? Here, die.
http://t.co/4qNEjKSi
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Just because I'm not tweeting doesn't mean that I'm not reading your tweets, in my Winnie The Pooh pajamas, listening to Lady Gaga, crying..
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*Phone ringing*, *picks up*. "Alo!" "Eh ya zemeeeleeey!" *hangs up*.
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Excuse my French but I'm in Egypt, jooh vodreehz alleeh aux tewalet!
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Don't open up for anyone, you'll regret it. Try to work through your problems yourself, you're yourself's best friend.
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The only thing worse than being sad is when your sadness is so noticable that everyone you meet mentions it.
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*pulls away from kissing*
Ana elhamdolellah kwayes, ezay 7adretek enty ya tante?
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Meanwhile on Humans of Cairo:
"What's the most exciting thing you've done in your life?"
"Wenta mal deen omak?"
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My face brings all the girls to the yard and they're like: "weshak dah wala wesh regly?"
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Ahlan ahlan ahlan ahlan ya 7abayby etfadalo ahlan ahlan nawarto ahlan ah-KEFAYA YA WELEYA A7A?!
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I've never drank liquor/ate pork/had sex and I'm still going to hell.
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What doesn't kill you, depresses the shit out of you and makes you wanna die.
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I want to tweet about how sad I am but I hate sad tweets so I'm gonna tweet about why shouldn't I tweet them and then I won't and so on.
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Walk into the club like what up I got a big cock that I don't get to use because I'm ugly and I'm very nice to girls.
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Lil Wayne: "Aaaah!"
His mom: "Eh yabny malak feek eh!"
Lil: "Amillie amillie amillie!"
Lil's mom: "Yarab howa ana leeh khaleft el 3ars dah?"
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I have the best girlfriend in the world and I’m so thankful for her existence in my life.
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Stop blaming people for leaving and ask yourself why did they leave in the first place, maybe you're not as great as you think you are.
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Egyptian/Syrian/Lebanese/Brazilian/Canadian/mommy kanet me2adeyaha/American.
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Damn, you're so attractive. Let me follow you and never talk to you.
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Me: "Enta feen?"
Kanye West: "Ana fel building."
Me: "Bete3mel eh?"
K: "Ba-swaggin' on a hundred thousand trillion."
Me: "Tayeb khod balak."
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No, no one is trying to "see you fall" or "bring you down", you have to understand that nobody cares, like, at all, just chill.
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Maybe people hate you for a reason, you know, like your piece of shit personality or your bitch ass attitude. I'm just saying, you whore.
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Kinda wanna take you out to dinner, kinda want you to be my dinner.
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Wake me up when sept-- you know what? Don't wake me up, up up up up up, don't wake me, DON'T WAKE ME UUUUUHUUUUUUHUUUUUUUUP!
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I put my phone on silent when I go to sleep as if there's anyone who would actually call.
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Woke up in the morning feeling like I'm never good enough for anyone or anything why do I suck so hard I wanna die.
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'Cause you'll never feel this pretty, wenty feeky shabah mn 3amety'
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I wanna buy a pillow that has boobs so I can call it makha-titty.
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3amatan I, I, can't deny the way you caught my eye eye, besmellah mashallah rabeena ye7meeky.
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Look ma! No friends, no love life, no life accomplishments, no bright future. Ma, do you even exist? Oh.. No ma also..
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"Barsem malame7 weshek b dokhan segarty.."
"Tayeb ezay?"
"Malaksh da3wa elmohem eny deep, w bardo barsem malame7 weshek b dokhan segarty."
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No new friends, no old friends, no current friends, no friends at all, no no no.
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RT
@UberFacts
The world's sexiest/funniest guy is a teenager who lives in Egypt and is called Youssef Hassan.
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*pats on a friend's back*
Her: "EH ELY ENTA BET3MELO DAH DON'T TOUCH ME!"
Me: "Kefaya mashakel el 3alam el talet deh ba2a a7a.."
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Don't ever judge anyone by their looks. You don't know what they've been through, ya tkheen yabnel tekheena.
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(They know, they know, they know): إطناب بالتكرار قاله Drake لتوضيح، و يمكن توكيد يوحي بشدة معرفتهم.
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"I love you!" "Thanks. Kosomak. Kosom masha3rak. Kosom ely gabook. Kosom weshak. Kosom khel2etak. Kosom your existence."
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I listen to The Weeknd, Drake, Frank Ocean and Miguel and I'm still a virgin.
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My relative: Youssef enta mesh betde7ak leeh?
Me: La mana bad7ak aho.
#Kalam3azayem
http://t.co/Y829KpMG5e
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المجد لدين أم المومنت بنت الوسخة البضينة you go like كس أمي بقي لووول hhhhhh احمد حلمي هاني رمزي نيك!
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