American Riviera Orchard (Parody)
@AROrchardCo
Followers
896
Following
25
Media
80
Statuses
112
PARODY. NO proceeds to charity. No it’s NOT rebranded Alibaba! And NO Returns! It’s the Real-Life Princess Lifestyle! Love, Meg 💋 Parody=free speech bitches!
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Joined March 2024
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Don’t Let Them Take Your Voice, Ever.
Great For Kevin Costner Parties!
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The perfect shirt for when an old rich guy books you for a day of yachting!
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How The Fairytale Began! Make Your Dreams Happen! Xoxo Meg
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Get The Duchess’s Secret To Being As Smooth As A Dolphin 🐬
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ARO Wig Styler For Duchess Meghan With The Good Hair Goals!
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Voted Better Than Highgrove Jam By My Army Of Online Bullies! 🍓
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ASO The Duchess! Hurry, Only Available In Size 13 and Up!
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Announcing
#ARO
’s first pop-up shop! Which number jar will you get? Stop in and buy a jar of Duchess Meghan’s Strawberry Jam before sexy Nacho eats it all! All strawberries grown in Meghan’s strawberry orchards & picked by Prince Archie!
#AmericanRivieraOrchard
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My Sexy Beauty Secret! Now It Can Be Yours! Buy Now
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I Know You’ve Been Wondering What Is Harry’s Secret To All That Spencer Red Hair! Here It is!
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Patent Pending New Technology From ARO Home
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Want DS Lips? DS means Duchess of Sussex, of course! 😘
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Evoke Thoughts Of Prince Harry Wherever You Wear It!
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Self-Care Is So Important! Even When You Are A Duchess
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ARO Haircare Made With Orchard Herb! Safe for Wigs! OH YES!
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New from ARO Home! Try not to laugh as he becomes more paranoid by the day. I highly recommend! ❤️Meg
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SHHH! It’s Meg & Her BFF Oprah’s Secret To Beauty! Order Now!
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Surprises Are The Best! Surprise Them With The CLAW!
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Duchess Meg Says: A Must For When You Need To Stand Out In A Crowd Of Caucasians! Or A Harlem School Visit!
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ARO Beauty Lash & Liner Kit. Be Shameless Like The Duchess!
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Great Opportunity! Must not mind having your child’s hair dyed or drugged to ensure cooperation!
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I Keep Harry Busy With This When He’s Done In The Chicken Coop! He Loves It! As Seen In Spare
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I Don’t Want To Talk About This One But I’ve Been Getting Complaints, So If You Buy ARO Ozempic This Is A Required Purchase KThx
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No More Embarrassing Tags Showing! Rip Off Any Designer and Boutique You Want! Just Like Meg!
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Get Inspired Like A Duchess! Meg Handgoogled Every Quote!
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The Duchess’s FAVE Wine Is Here! Made From Orchard Grape*
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Calling All Young Mothers Like Myself! Made From Fresh Organic Ingredients From My Orchard! Order Now
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Manifest What You Desire Just Like Meg! Money, Fame, Titles, Plastic Surgery! It Can Be Yours!
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ARO Child-Sized Garden Tools To Keep Those Pesky Kids Busy! Love Like A Mother, Amirite? ☺️
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A TIG Fave! Awesome For Masking Vegan Diet Protein Farts! 💨
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Keep Your Little Prince’s Face Hidden Just Like Meg! Stylish Loose Straps!
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Now You Can Work As Hard As Duchess Meghan!
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The Perfect Gift For That Person That You Can’t Stop Thinking About!
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ARO Bird Seed Made From Royal Seed Of Harry & American Riviera Orchard
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ARO Royal Organic Vegan Dog Food In Meghan’s Own Sexy Filthy Mush Flavor
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Feel So Petite Next To Your Short Prince With ARO Big Boy Shoe Lifts!
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I might have a TINY crush on Nacho…tee hee! Kisses….Duchess M 💋
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Wigs Made From Hair Curated On Meghan’s Private Jet Trips All Over The World! Also From Her Staff & Nacho’s Ponies!
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Great For Uncooperative Husbands! A Real Marriage Saver! ARO Exclusive
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Perfect For Capturing Those Special Private Family Moments! Meg Doesn’t Go Anywhere Without It!
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Now Hiring! Here’s Your Chance To Work For A Real Life Princess! 👑
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I’m currently testing the ARO Beauty Lash & Liner Kit on Nacho! Wish me luck XOXO M
ARO Beauty Lash & Liner Kit. Be Shameless Like The Duchess!
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My Gardener Has Been Slaving Away In My Orchard To Grow This! Order Soon So I Can Pay Him! Haz Might Smoke It All!
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ARO Massager In Princess Pink! When You Just Don’t Want Your Hubby Touching You! Order Below
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From The Only Duchess Famous For Squatting! For Use With Organic Cotton TP
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You Don’t Have To Be Jealous That Harry Choose Meg Anymore! Now Your Man Can Be As Hot As Haz!
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Great For Unwanted Pets! Limited Quantities! Almost Sold Out!
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You Never Know When A Pap Will Find You! Be Prepared Like A Duchess
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This Look Helped Me Land My First Husband! Get Yours!
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ASO The Duchess at Polo!
@USPoloAssnUSA
Get Yours Now
Live The American Princess Lifestyle!
My Sexy Beauty Secret! Now It Can Be Yours! Buy Now
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New Drop! Neutral Colors Essential For That Duchess Look!
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@LexieMayHunter
How the fuck am I supposed to know? Why don’t you ask Archie, he’s the one in the orchard all day
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Thanks to my new Nigerian family, we have plenty of employees to stay in business!
#AmericanRivieraOrchard
#ARO
Don’t believe the hateful British media, place an order today!
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New
#ARO
rosé wine coming soon! All current stock of our Tig is 75% off! Apparently seeing Bouzy’s face at dinner is a total appetite killer. Now to fire a low paid intern for my bad marketing decision! Woohoo! Xoxo M 💋
The Duchess’s FAVE Wine Is Here! Made From Orchard Grape*
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All Beads Handmade By Nigerian Child Laborers To Save You More!
Another MeMe cringy embarrassing moment from the Nigerian visit -
Credit: Winning Communication
Youtube
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I can’t tell you how handy this ARO Travel Microphone came during my Nigerian Tour. A Must-Have! Now only $1500!
Don’t Let Them Take Your Voice, Ever.
Great For Kevin Costner Parties!
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@Lyla41538339
@aatweetly
Ignacio “Nacho” Figueras
@nachofigueras
is his name and he is
#ARO
’s first spokesperson & my new bitchboy. He just LOVES my jam, tee hee! Thanks Delfina! ❤️ Meg
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Get my secret Nigerian formula for Suxxess! $$$ Get Money Bitches!
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Excuse me while I have a word with my bestie Delfina. Who DAFAQ does she think she is?
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Comes with a certificate of authenticity signed in calligraphy by Princess Meghan!
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More LIES from the toxic British Media!
You would be caught crying too if you married this
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ARO Organic Laundry Detergent Works Great When Your Husband Only Has Two Outfits On Heavy Rotation
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Now with NEW ROYAL SECRETS Never Heard Before! Order Your Copy Today!
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Princess Meghan’s Curated Maple Syrup. Comes in an exclusive hand-blown brown glass bottle to remind you it’s racist not to buy
#ARO
! Xoxo, M
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Homemade ARO royal dog biscuits coming soon! The test batch was a smashing Suxxess!
ARO Royal Organic Vegan Dog Food In Meghan’s Own Sexy Filthy Mush Flavor
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@BarkJack_
Only I have REAL
#ARO
Princess products!
Get my secret Nigerian formula for Suxxess! $$$ Get Money Bitches!
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Don’t say I didn’t warn you Oprah! Now will you answer my calls???
I Don’t Want To Talk About This One But I’ve Been Getting Complaints, So If You Buy ARO Ozempic This Is A Required Purchase KThx
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You could at least acknowledge a gift when it’s given to you. RUDE!
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@tiadobi
@HGTudorKTN
@HGTudorKTN
has such a sexy deep voice! And I just love older men! Does anyone know his bank balance?
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@peacheskikki
@OurRecollection
Excuse me? What the fuck? My calves do NOT look like that! Ugh!
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ARO Covers Up Oprah Sharts!
Preforated heated/AC car seat almost ruined after Oprah’s rear explosion!
Oprah! Sharted in car! Talked to detailing company. “Understandably, she was ill. She raced home but it happened in driveway. We were hired privately to reupholster the entire seat. We wore PPE”.
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@dinglebarey
@PicturesFoIder
They destroyed a curved staircase just to put in an arch and a straight staircase :(
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@GiacobbeGrace
@JayBee1812
Wait, that’s my kid? Archie? Oops, I should check on his whereabouts, hee hee!
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