Y. Choi | 최윤이
@AChoi2323
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Currently Writing 'Paper People'. Documenting Family History and Absurdities of life. Trust me. It’s worth the air time.
New York, USA
Joined December 2023
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Perhaps we write when there is nothing else we can do but write.
어쩌면 쓰기란, 달리 뭔가 할 수 있는 일이 없을때 비로소 선택하게 되는 마지막 수단인 것 같다.
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Feels like yesterday that Felix landed in Korea to follow his dreams. At the time, a lot was going on in his nuclear family and my dad took him under his wings. I remember him being so proud when Felix’s first fan recognized him in the subways.
#FELIX
#StrayKids
#felixlee
#용복
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2023년 7월 리더인 방찬이와 함께
Bangchan was a very sweet person and a pro selfie-taker indeed.
#StrayKids
#skz
#스키즈
#straykids
#bangchan
#방찬
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First time seeing Felix on stage. He was so very different from the Felix in real life 😚 He was so cool on stage!
#StrayKids
#stay
#Felix
#Felixlee
#필릭스 #용복 #용복이 #フィリックス
#yongbok
#yongboklee
#memories
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Thank you all for your kindness. Felix is lucky to have such a good group of people supporting him 🥲
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I think it makes a lot of sense how well Felix is doing in the fashion industry especially since his mom (my auntie) wanted to be a fashion designer when she was young :) It’s cute how her son is fulfilling her dream!
#StrayKids
#FELIXxVOGUEKOREA
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Please pray for my father. He’s going through a very tough time.. hope all your loved ones are you well. Protect them before it’s too late. Good night🌙
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Also, Olivia (his sister) wanted to be a model before she became interested in fashion (per her mom). Please support her on instagram if you’ve not already. She has almost one million subscribers now. Your love is greatly appreciated!
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Happy New Year! It will be a better year. There’ll be people who confuse you and try to manipulate you into thinking that kindness is last priority. Well, this year, I will continue to do work to show them it doesn’t have to be. Wishing everyone my best for the journey ahead :)
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If you see someone flaunting how charitable they are, do not trust them. Those who contribute the most to society often do so without "announcing it with trumpets."
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There are many questions that get sent to me. I promise they will be answered. I’m now working on some big projects so it doesn’t feel like the right time. Hopefully it will be time soon~ have a wonderful day everyone!
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Happy Korean New Year! My grandma passed away last year and every few months, my dad visits the family graves to clean up and take care. This year, nobody else came unfortunately for Korean Nee Year. Hope Felix and my auntie will come next time ;)
#family
#설날
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New York bar with a mural by Ludwig Bemelma the author of Madeleine, the famous children’s book with a French girl as it’s heroine. I generally don’t enjoy bars, but this one with a beautiful mural and live jazz, was certainly worth the visit.
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Hello 안농 🐥 Where are you from?
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I've been thinking a lot about my past diagnosis of clinical depression. For one year, I could not move a finger. I don't much remember much of my early 20's for this reason. My father truly saved my life back then... taking me to the doctor and providing care.
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2007: First time in Japan. My japanese host sister is now a mother of two beautiful children.
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The tree is Azalea that my dad planted and it’s like a protective guard over the family buried on this site. Hope you all have a beautiful day with your loved ones 🙏
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Found this photo while visiting my uncle and auntie in Hong Kong: my grandpa, uncle and grandma. Can’t believe how small my uncle looks especially now that he’s 6 feet tall.
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성실하고 진실된 사람들이 잘 사는 세상이 되었으면 좋겠다. 그런 사람들을 괴롭히는 사람들을 고발하는것도 필요하단 걸 이제야 깨달았다. 그래야 좀 더 깨끗한 세상이 돼. 내가 싫더라도 고발하는 용기가 필요하다.
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Somehow, a more logical understanding of the field and its work was therapeutic for me. I no longer interpret emotional distancing as being calloused. In fact, it may be a necessary strategy to survive when engaging in work that I find meaningful.
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현재 제게 들어오는 질문이 많아 알려드려요. 조만간 모든 질문들에 답변드릴 예정입니다. 다만 지금 제가 진행중인 프로젝트들이 있어 아직은 시기가 아니라 판단하였습니다. 조금만 시간을 주시면 성실히 답변드리겠습니다. 감사합니다~
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現在、私に寄せられる質問が多いため、お知らせいたします。近日中にすべての質問に回答いたします。ただし、現在進行中のプロジェクトがあるため、まだその時期ではないと判断しました。少しお時間をいただければ、誠実にお答えいたします。ありがとうございます~
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How to break free from victimhood, especially when victimhood becomes an excuse to justify one's malicious actions.
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Again, I owe everything to my father. And side note, this was another big lesson I learned. I can't live alone. Whether I was aware of it or not, in every phase of my life, there was someone there helping me to get to my next place. It is true. Humans are social animals.
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How old are you? 🐥
18 years or under
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19-29 years
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Returning to the main discussion: After years of soul-searching, I circled back to the field of humanitarian health—not because I had resolved what seemed to me a hypocritical nature of life in general, but because I concluded promoting human rights for all includes me.
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I've only done very cursory level literature search, but I can't help but feel that it's a bit unfair that empathetic people tend to be more vulnerable to negative mental health conditions. It took me nearly 10 years to make dramatic shifts in my perspective and behavior..
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인생을 살아가는 방식이나 인간관계에서 항상 authenticity(달리 단어가 생각나지 않는다)를 중요하게 생각하는 사람으로서 보여지는거에 목숨거는 사람들을 보면 이해가 되지 않는다. 그것도 다 큰 어른이..선택적 무지함인가, 그냥 무지한것인가. 자신만의 픽션을 진짜 믿어버리는 저 용기, 경의롭다
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There are many contributing factors to this diagnosis, but I think the biggest one was guilt. As a student studying humanitarian health, I fell into a deep sense of guilt about my own situation. Serving in Tibet for a few years amplified this effect, I'm sure.
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Discovering one of these selfie mirrors in Korea and doing what one must do.
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...to protect myself and bring myself back to health. This process also required medication for a few years, fulfilling small goals, rebalancing my hormonal levels, socially restarting, and consciously reminding myself that it is okay to enjoy my daily provisions.
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I later learned that what I experienced may have been compassion fatigue. Talking to a long-time friend who had worked in Tibet in the same program further solidified this speculation. This 2012 paper uses the Attachment Theory as a framework to understand compassion fatigue:
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"Attachment security is a strong predictor of empathy, and those who have secure attachment orientations have had responsive caregivers, and, in turn, this responsiveness predicts largely the capacity of the person to empathize (Wienfield, Sroufe, Egeland, & Carlson, 2008)."
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내가 만약 아이가 있다면 그 아이는 자신이 특별하다고 가르치지 않을 것 같다. 인간은 나 혼자 살아가지 못하는 생물로 타인과 조화를 이루며 살아가야한다. 나는 아이에게 다 함께 살아갈 수 있는 방법을 고민할 수 있도록 가르칠 것 같다. 그러면 본인도 추구하는 가치가 생기겠지..
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I also couldn't understand the callousness of people around me. It truly felt like I was the only one seeing this ghost everywhere I went. I felt lonely, betrayed, and deeply sad.
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As a friend once said to me, “you have to be pretty broken to be reading Notes from the Underground.” Here I am again, re-reading this deceivingly light read by Dostoyevsky. I must be pretty broken..
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Wonderful talk by Pulitzer Fellow and journalist, Ricardo Barbar. His important work opened my eyes to doing journalism in a broken system. Main takeaway is how to report under data vacancy on topics as data-crucial as health care.
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"According to Figley (2001, as cited in Figley 2008), empathic people are more prone to developing compassion fatigue."
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Wonderful conversation:
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When my childhood became tainted, I finally let go of it. I was left with no choice but to move forward into my adulthood.
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What is the truth in events that are difficult to be tested with science? If all such truths are subjective, I sure hope as many such "truths" align with kindness of just general human decency...worthy of respect.
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Ugh.. got too deep in my thoughts waiting for my plane to board.. awfully thankful for my therapist and this void that is twitter..I recently lost two beautiful and kind people who were called too soon.. safe trip back home, ya’ll.
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@nyangracher
No worries. Please don’t worry about Felix. He’s a good kid but please be careful how you support others around him who can be using his fame.. to potentially hurt others.
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@chiclesmota
Aww, that’s very sweet of you :) thank you for your kind, kind words. I really need it at the moment 🥲 yes, compassion fatigue is very real. So important to protect and be kind to myself. Hope you’re also taking care!
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@nyangracher
I’m sorry to worry you and thanks for reaching out. Yes, I’m going through a lot at the moment :( I’ll reach out privately when I am able to find peace, dear. Thanks for reading my diary..
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@nyangracher
Oh and I’m so sorry but I would really appreciate it if you don’t spread the captured image. 😭 i promise there will come a time for clarity
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Ugh..almost cried randomly seeing this on the street. Sometimes, life throws all its worst cards at you at the same time.
Why must the “good” people take all the burden? Maybe the “bad” people intuitively know that Justice is a man-made construct. So they don’t give a sh*t.
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