The Mysterious And Marvellous Mr H🧠
@77_Kiah
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Perfectly Sane Individual
Lagos, Nigeria
Joined May 2021
There’s no advantage to being poor.
advantage of being poor, you know the value of small things.
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Boko Haram cannot see eagle square now o, if it’s a 72 year old farmer with arthritis they will start shouting Allah Akbar.
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A balding man: he is bald .A balding woman: she’s suffering from Alopecia De Mysteriis Dom Sathanas.
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Florence you retired the day you were born, don’t clart my lungs.
The MAIN reason I work REALLY hard is so that I can retire at 35 years old and live on abalumo farm with Dúdú and FünFün!👩🏾🌾.
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I think about this young man everyday. He had that dawg in him
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yesterday person put goat meat, smoked fish, ponmo and other stuffs inside palm oil stew call am “broke stew”, this morning another guy design 5m per annum house call am middle class, this evening another babe talk say Ikeja and surulere na trenches. God go save us 😸❤️.
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“If I answer 3 out of 5, I will get more that 50. I can do number 3a but can’t do b and c, if I do 4a with 17.5 marks, I will collect b from. ” the only way to pass in Federal Uni.
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When the DJ is using toshiba laptop with black cello tape >>>>>>> MacBook.
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Why is she clean and why are you dirty? Divine please talk to me.
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We said Okoye is not good, Nigerian women said our penis is small. They are complicit in this defeat.
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This is why English players don’t go far in life.
◉ Passing like Pirlo.◉ Tackling like Gattuso.◉ Dribbling like Kakà. Kalvin Phillips is not the Yorkshire Pirlo, he's the entire Milan midfield. 🤩
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dawg, the world will stripe you off your dignity if you are poor.
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this is why migrating to the UK >>>>>> .If you talk nonsense we trace your grandfather to Sagamu.
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I been meaning to say something for a very long time, but it’s been slipping my mind. A large number of you treat your parents terribly.
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If person exhume Fela, reanimate am, carry am go market make he price tomatoes and pepper, e fit lock himself for studio for 1 month, create 7 hour long Nigerian Government diss track.
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I’ve played bet .I’ve done forex .I’ve done Ponzi schemes .I’ve sold Chinese toothpaste/ body cream.I’ve done crypto .I’ve started 2 business and failed .I’ve done 9-5 (technically 8-8 as a Lagosian) .I’ve done everything dawg, I gave up this morning.
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I visit one guy for him self proclaimed trenches, and I gats call am for gate to send me code before estate open gate.
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I make mistake order drink 348k, waiter ask me “Oga mi are you sure?”. God bless this guy 😭🙌
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He knew and he no give my goat expo 😥
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No club has paid £0 to buy Lionel Messi. He’s literally PRICELESS 😭🇫🇷❤️.
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when Nigeria music was about “who them dey play for birthday party” and not Spotify streams per second.
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Some of your grew up in homes where your mother diced apples and strawberries to garnish your oats before you head out to school but you are trying to act like you are hard because you listen to lil Durk. werey.
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Twitter: you can’t edit dms, you can’t delete dms, even if you block a user it’s still visible. Mumu: is this a safe space? 🥺.
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If British people had their way, black people will never kick a ball in the premier league,.
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Some men will sleep with you and move on, I’ll sleep with you and move in. I don’t have an apartment, I’m built different ❤️.
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I want every Nigerian on twitter to look at themselves in the mirror and say, “I’m not a black American”. Once in the morning, Once at night, maybe they’d be cured on the 7th day.
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Lagos babes in 80k per night service apartment in Lekki with 7k in their bank account:
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Americans really put themselves in serious financial debt to study courses like psychology and gender studies so they can dye their hair purple and come to fight on twitter while working in Costco or Target and selling astrology stone on the side.
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Messi won the Copa America and destroyed our timeline. He was never meant to win an international trophy, somebody changed history 😭.
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The scary thing is China is watching closely and I’m sure we are owing them gbese. I’m 100% sure.
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Police stop me look my slippers tell him guy say “e file, this one no be working boy”, dear God I can see what you are doing in my life.
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The Greatest Individual Footballing Season of All Time
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Dear Nigerians, let’s not lie to ourselves, yahoo/fraud is a career choice for the average Nigerian guy. Leave your twitter and personal space and look outside. It’s wild, but it’s the truth.
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How are Nigerians not raging over food prices ? 😭.
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Nothing worse than a child from a very privileged background entering uni/ boarding school trying to form streets, wyd man.
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suppose dey start your tweet with “ololade mi Asake”.
Manchester United and Barcelona have been in direct contact today for Frenkie de Jong. Still no agreement on the fee, as Barça told Man Utd they won’t sell FdJ for less than €86m. 🚨🇳🇱 #MUFC. Barcelona want full fee guaranteed, also because of La Liga rules to reinvest money.
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One thing I respect about Buhari is how much he’s breaking the boundaries between Islam and Christianity. For example; this Ileya will look a lot like Christmas, many a niggas will kill chicken.
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Ronaldo at Bayern’s front gate on Monday morning
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Americans dey sing about sex and drugs dey bag grammy. reach my country turn, them say make we dey focus on climate change, bolo haram and the sufferings of the African child. Internalised racism will never let us make it out of the hood. 😥.
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The babe wey you dey send 50k from your 150k allowance get like 3M locked up in piggyvest, but you be terry waya 🤩.
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Sungbalaggher no dey waste time. Enter pitch play 30 minutes, waka.
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When Messi was the only Argentine to score in a whole year, we didn’t hear noise.
Lionel Messi has only scored 1 open play goal in his last 16 competitive matches for Argentina. His other 3 were penalty kicks. Does he need more help at international level? 🤔
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Buju really can’t be vexing for trolls as a retiree sha, e suppose sabi how e dey go.
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I remember waspapping campaigning heavily for Buhari in 2019 even after all the suffering we endured for 4yrs. Now he’s on twitter lamenting about how they’ve kidnapped his brother and how he’s lost faith in Buhari. As a concerned citizen, I wish this is the beginning of his woes.
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This year’s BBN is as a result of bribery and corruption. When you give slot to people that don’t have a clue about what they are doing because of “connection” you end up with this piece of shit. 😴.
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From today, I won’t have a single Jewellery on my person. My God didn’t create me to make women happy.
jewelry on men ???? rings, necklaces, all of that. attractive AS FUCK.
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Romelu Lekwa-Ukwu na the wildest slander name I don see so far 😭.
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I remember a senior I fell in love with in secondary school. She kissed me on my cheek one sunday and died in like 2 weeks, made me think hours.
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My MOTHER GAVE BIRTH TO ME FOR THIS MOMENT. MESSI IS A CHAMPION WITH ARGENTINA 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭.
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Muslim brothers talk about haram and halal all day only to end up begging kafayat for coochie once it’s 12am. Stop bro.
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Imagine being an Asuu guy chatting with babe in private Uni, she fit dey prepare for exam make you dey use “have you eaten” dey disturb her life. 😂😂.
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Let’s be real with ourselves, the greatest motivator for financial crimes is poverty and like I keep saying, Nigerians do not truly understand how deep the roots of poverty have gone in our country. People don’t really understand how bad these Buhari times really is….
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Our RB no fit run, DM na woman, ST is on the big side and our LCB na like 5”2, we go hold at least 6.
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E get some kind babes wey you go carry go restaurant spend 50k. E get some wey go dey satisfied with 8k pancake date. E get some wey go contribute make una two go out. E get some wey go dey house with you because una two dey jobless. Always date your level. 👍.
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To think every child here is now smoking loud is insane.
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Ramos and Pepe entire career was built on breaking Messi and you guys cheered for years 😂.
The harrasment Vinícius Jr. suffers from grown men on a football pitch for simply wanted to play football is disgusting. Javier Aguirre was heard by Vini asking his players to break his legs hence why he got mad. Investigate @realmadrid.
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Everybody in 2015 using that camera 360 glossy filter ✨
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See how Kanye drop album for hot afternoon, no tweet, no announcement, no album cover sef. What a guy.
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If wizkid ask me say “u don chop”, I go cry like 2 weeks straight, call my mama tell am say I don make am.
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He’s crazy talented and it’s not just the comedy. This nogga can do almost everything in entertainment.
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I apologise for myself and the rest of the Nigerian men for not doing fraud 🧎♂️❤️.
Y’all talking about transport fare when they’re sending cars to pick up babes 😂.
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Person drop odds, the odds get 10k likes, like 1 million impressions, all the people wey get generational curses wey Oyedepo no fit free play am, and you sef stake money. 😭.
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All of you that’ve turned this Cubana story to “Hausa vs Igbo”, “Igbo vs Yoruba” etc. Need to look deep into your hearts and realise you are nothing but bums.
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Misogyny no dey get interactions again, time to disrespect wizkid. 😋.
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The masculine urge to want to sleep with 35 year old women.
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Remember Messi isn’t playing the Copa America final to prove any point, he’s already the greatest footballer to kick a ball in any generation 🇦🇷
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Pep, the greatest football coach of all time. A coach I’ve admired for over a decade and wish nothing but success just won the premier league with a leftover squad against the strongest team in Europe, but I would give it all to see CRK knacking free kick in conference league.
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I dey push my Uber for road fgs. NIGERIA DEY KILL ME ☹️.
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If you’ve tasted altenussy you’d understand why niggas listen to this stuff. The No fear of God pussy slaps different ngl.
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2500 comments and I’ll deactivate, no cheating this time around, I promise.
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Words cannot describe how terrible the Nigerian Federal Government Universities are. The system is designed with the sole purpose of seeing you fail, nothing more.
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My man painted area boys at oshodi like knights of Camelot because Tunde snap picture as them dey play chess.
Why are the Area Boys at Oshodi underbridge not into financial crimes, rituals if poverty is the biggest motivator for financial crimes?. Those Area Boys whom you like to look down upon have higher moral values than most of you on this app making excuses for criminals! TUEH!.
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I am tired of hearinng “burna boy didn’t sell out O2” and “burna boy sold out O2” arguments. Your mother can’t sell the bournvita in her shop but this is what you are worried about.
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that “I no get money, I no dey talk to woman” mentality is so sad, this na even the time to seek companionship and happiness. what happened to humanity?.
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Day 10 without football; .Going to my Muslim friend’s house to see Salah one more time 😔.
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Bro I’m 21 and I’ve been sacked twice. Yeeshhh 😬.
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Do Egyptians have any idea how many times we’ve bound and casted them on Sundays? They really thought they had a chance 😭.
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Uk girls have like the most perfect makeup.
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Race for the golden boot:.Cristiano Ronaldo 🇵🇹- 2 goals .Romelu Lukaku 🇧🇪- 3 goals. FROM THE SERIA A TO THE PREMIER LEAGUE THE RIVALRY CONTINUES 💯🔥
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We are watching the collapse of this country in front of our eyes, in higher definition, and there’s nothing we can do about it.
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See that stuff about white players being technically gifted and black players being PNP? It’s not a racist joke dawg, it’s reality. Wallahi it’s too real.
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I’m a strong believer of whatever problem the black man face is of the black man’s design. Anything that happened to us after Independence is 100% on us. I will never forgive Nigerians in the 60s 70s for what they’ve done.
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Chellini is 37 btw. 37 years of age. He doesn’t get Goat shouts because he doesn’t score penalties and headers.
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One thing I’ve learnt in life, you’d make more money flaunting wealth than “acting broke”. Don’t play yourself.
Stack money, act broke. Have more than you show & speak less than you know.
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Other terrorist organisations will be anti government and anti America, our own is anti Farmer. Not one functional thing in this country.
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