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darcie Profile
darcie

@333333333433333

Followers
106K
Following
96K
Media
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Statuses
39K

hells kitchens sweetheart // she/her // https://t.co/JxssYxQYoZ

new york
Joined February 2010
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
@333333333433333
darcie
4 years
new pinned tweet.
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darcie
4 years
spoon is cheaper than change the whole fence
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darcie
4 years
the "anti-woke" mocked AOC for tweeting "im okay" as if she's some self-obsessed selfie-millennial stereotype and not one of the biggest target for the magas who were hoping to take hostages.
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darcie
5 years
bernie would've endorsed warren within five minutes of dropping out.
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darcie
6 years
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@333333333433333
darcie
6 years
why did they start calling it "burnout culture" instead of "labor law violations".
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darcie
4 years
do veg zoomers understand that for many years, this was the best case scenario
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darcie
5 years
Penguin Descending Stairs, Looking Around and Waving a Wing
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darcie
7 years
“but antidepressants will make me lose my spark,” i thought, while unable to eat, leave my apartment, or write just 1 sentence for 6 months.
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darcie
3 years
wonder if my coworkers know that when i log off at 4pm, i immediately fall asleep and awake an hour or so later for "today: part 2" where it feels like i have 2 days in one, more bang for my buck, etc.
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darcie
7 years
my trying to tweet ambiguously enough to retain my privacy, yet communicate my feelings and needs to others
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darcie
3 years
"you've heard of elf on a shelf, now—". no i have not heard of elf on a shelf. it seems to have appeared out of nowhere. the wikipedia says it was invented in 2005 when i was 15 i do not understand these foolish childrens games.
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darcie
4 years
cleansing tl
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darcie
6 years
"can someone invent a library but without any of the poor people and also abolish its use as a public space, thanks".
@michellecyca
Michelle Cyca
6 years
why don't people know about libraries
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@333333333433333
darcie
5 years
if you or a loved one came of age during the low-rise jeans trend you may to be entitled to emotional compensation.
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@333333333433333
darcie
5 years
here's the clip i've been obsessed with for four years, when regis philbin went on letterman in full shrek costume
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@333333333433333
darcie
7 years
men just discovered consequences and they are terrified.
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darcie
4 years
r u telling me abuse of power is coming as a surprise.
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darcie
5 years
@janerichsen *walking into an ER during an unrelated pandemic* i fell onto my knife sculpture.
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darcie
4 years
in this essay i will
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darcie
5 years
love that elizabeth warren stood up for the policy she's been fighting for by absolutely abandoning it now that it doesn't have her face on it.
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@333333333433333
darcie
6 years
a goddamn KING
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darcie
5 years
i cant believe they canceled primary but not rent. i mean i can.
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darcie
6 years
i say “ice coffee” and not “iced coffee” because i don’t believe a material object or being should be identified by what happened to it, but should instead be identified by the objects within itself with which it currently identifies.
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@333333333433333
darcie
7 years
less 'drugs are bad' and more 'sobriety is possible'.
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@333333333433333
darcie
5 years
3.5 hour movie? absolutely not.8 consecutive hours of the same show without getting up? obviously.
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@333333333433333
darcie
4 years
every day i wake up and waste my day.
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@333333333433333
darcie
7 years
I'm . ⚪️ Gay .⚪️ Straight .🔘 valuing your privacy and striving to make our policies about your personal data clear. I have updated our Privacy Policy and Terms of Service to reflect changes in data protection laws that raise the global standard for personal data privacy.
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darcie
5 years
dogs are just children that don’t hate you.
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darcie
3 years
i am concerned about the rate at which the world is ending.
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darcie
3 years
great part of being a kid is squeezing a slice of white bread into a ball.
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@333333333433333
darcie
4 years
@verymimi and his little friend to pretend hes filming on a little camera thats not the mtv camera.
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@333333333433333
darcie
6 years
i respect when dogs don’t want to say hi to me but it never gets easier.
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@333333333433333
darcie
6 years
is having a job just waiting to be fired.
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@333333333433333
darcie
5 years
more qualified than 95% of the presidential candidates
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@333333333433333
darcie
7 years
people who use this as an opportunity to remind you chris hardwick was not funny are furthering the narrative that there is a price at which point abuse is ok, and it’s when they’re entertained.
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@333333333433333
darcie
5 years
i saw the worst minds of my generation get $10k/month on patreon.
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@333333333433333
darcie
7 years
i can’t believe we have to stay alive every day with no breaks.
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@333333333433333
darcie
4 years
this is genocide.
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@333333333433333
darcie
6 years
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darcie
7 years
there is a place in my heart for all these men who accidentally became billionaires cuz they were doing nerd-ass shit like building apps and websites just kidding they’re all unionbusting losers who ride off free content and allude to ethics without practicing them.
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@333333333433333
darcie
8 years
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@333333333433333
darcie
6 years
no offense but how do any of u still have faith in the american government.
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darcie
6 years
i heard a horrifying urban legend that sometimes if u get a husband the husband will convince u that a 25 year old revolutionary album made by a 19 year old woman isn’t sophisticated enough.
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@333333333433333
darcie
5 years
very late but i just remembered this and think it’s important to respect private property so burberry can incinerate $36.8 billion of their own merchandise
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@333333333433333
darcie
7 years
everyone wants a goth girlfriend, no one wants a loosely affiliated with indie and diy but very scared of any type of intentional community or scene girlfriend.
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@333333333433333
darcie
5 years
remembering when the pet psychic told me my dog "wants to let you know she's had human food before, if you ever want to split something. she likes scrambled eggs".
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@333333333433333
darcie
7 years
at a party and this guy stormed away from a screaming match about whether the Lindbergh baby or the Hindenburg was more famous. he yelled “crime of the century” and we heard his door slam.
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@333333333433333
darcie
3 years
coco's going grey
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@333333333433333
darcie
4 years
watch until end
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@333333333433333
darcie
4 years
there is no narrative reason why Antz (1998) is spelled with a “z.” they just did not believe the movie was able to carry itself had it been named “Ants.”.
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@333333333433333
darcie
6 years
seltzer: because water should hurt.
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@333333333433333
darcie
6 years
me casually dropping the words “my boyfriend” into normal conversation
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@333333333433333
darcie
4 years
so depressing
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@333333333433333
darcie
4 years
unfortunately for my haters i am loved.
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@333333333433333
darcie
4 years
cleansing timeline (going to do this every time I tweet something upsetting, as penance).
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@333333333433333
darcie
6 years
IS THIS FAKE
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@333333333433333
darcie
6 years
not getting invited to anything is kind of my thing.
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@333333333433333
darcie
7 years
it used to be that you had to be hot. now you have to be hot AND weird-looking.
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@333333333433333
darcie
7 years
totally didn’t realize Alfalfa died by getting shot in the dick in an argument about lost dog reward money
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@333333333433333
darcie
5 years
whenever I see her I reconsider grad school
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@333333333433333
darcie
5 years
he’s given us so much
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@333333333433333
darcie
5 years
girl that made fun of me in high school got “nevertheless she persisted” tattoo.
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@333333333433333
darcie
7 years
people who wear fanny packs as shoulder bags are insecure ethically bankrupt social climbers.
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@333333333433333
darcie
5 years
@ryantheleader_ you shouldn’t show people your tongue if it looks like that.
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@333333333433333
darcie
5 years
i don’t hate trump because he walks or talks like that or can’t hold a cup with one hand or is ugly or the measure of his body’s mass, i hate him because he is racist fascist who deserves nothing but ire for all the harm he has inflicted.
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@333333333433333
darcie
3 years
i can be silent no longer
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@333333333433333
darcie
7 years
i feel like i'm finally ready to quit all my projects and fully devote myself, full-time, to my depression.
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darcie
5 years
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@333333333433333
darcie
7 years
fuck i just realized that i'm going to end up listening to love songs written for elon musk i hate my life.
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@333333333433333
darcie
7 years
i stopped changing myself for men when i realized their tastes and opinions were just reactionary emotions against their most recent or most hurtful ex.
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@333333333433333
darcie
6 years
║\.║▒\.║▒▒\.║░▒║.║░▒║with this blade.║░▒║ i protect .║░▒║aidy bryant .║░▒║ .║░▒║.║░▒║ .║░▒║.▓▓▓▓.[█▓].[█▓].[█▓].[█▓].
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@333333333433333
darcie
7 years
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darcie
7 years
it’s endearing how we give up on each other and call it self-care.
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@333333333433333
darcie
5 years
being golden retriever.
@espn
ESPN
5 years
Without saying their name, what is your favorite athlete known for?.
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@333333333433333
darcie
7 years
sorry i’m still thinking about when the priest at my dad’s wedding said, “what is love? no one knows. couples go to parties and when they leave we ask, ‘what does she see in him? what does he see in her?’ no one knows”.
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darcie
8 years
get an honest friend
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darcie
7 years
out of the ash.i rise with my chemically damaged hair.and i eat double chocolate mini muffins like air.
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@333333333433333
darcie
5 years
in fact he complimented her campaign from his speech last night.
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darcie
5 years
every day trump drastically fucks something up i had never even considered being an issue.
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darcie
5 years
midsommar is pinterest donnie darko.
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darcie
5 years
people who say "16 is old enough" can go die today. you're old enough.
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darcie
7 years
how do I know if I understand social cues.
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darcie
6 years
⠀ (\__/) . ⠀  (•ㅅ•) my friend who’s on. _ノ ヽ ノ\ __ the list. / `/ ⌒Y⌒ Y ヽ .(  (三ヽ人  /   | .| ノ⌒\  ̄ ̄ヽ  ノ    .ヽ___>、___/ . |( 王 ノ〈 (\__/) . /ミ`ー―彡\ (•ㅅ•) me.
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darcie
6 years
june 21 is the most chaotic birthday.
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darcie
6 years
i just realized that married people LIVE TOGETHER like you don’t even get your own bed.
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darcie
5 years
she tucks herself in
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darcie
8 years
after careful consideration i've decided to become successful.
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darcie
5 years
millennials are OBSESSED with being born between 1981 and 1996.
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darcie
5 years
bernie raises 2 million dollars, endless livestreams leading his base thru a crisis and joe biden sent an emoji
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darcie
6 years
oh he also has a ferret
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darcie
5 years
i am addicted to this metal box i compulsively stroke and prod to find more information on my enemies.
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darcie
6 years
look, maybe i *like* opening and closing calculator app three times before finally opening clock app.
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darcie
6 years
someone was mean to me and i feel like ruining the rest of my life over it.
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@333333333433333
darcie
6 years
losing a guy in 10 days is honestly the easiest thing i can think of.
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@333333333433333
darcie
5 years
what
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darcie
4 years
anti-nap people are ignorant and harmful. sometimes it's just friggin naptime.
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@333333333433333
darcie
4 years
every walter reed employee revisiting the hippocratic oath
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@333333333433333
darcie
5 years
this happened in 2009. shrek had been out for EIGHT YEARS.
@333333333433333
darcie
5 years
here's the clip i've been obsessed with for four years, when regis philbin went on letterman in full shrek costume
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@333333333433333
darcie
5 years
btw only one pangolin has ever really been domesticated and it’s this lady who knows it’s important for Honey Bun to get her steps in so every single day this woman goes out into the wild and trails behind a pangolin for five hours
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@333333333433333
darcie
6 years
my two biggest fears are nuclear winter and someone being mad at me.
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