pls add dodo 200.
@2ponmo2egg
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say no to illegal bushmeat. listening to music @ponmoFM .
ewa agoyin
Joined April 2022
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"morning in lagos was a burst of colour. zainab awakened to the soft smell of egusi, ogbono, and dodo for breakfast; while the town crier rang his bell, accentuated by the grainy kukuruku of the village cockerel."
you’ll just know when a book is written by a diaspora nigerian, idk how to put it but it’s like they want it to seem nigerian so bad that it ends up forced and not natural. i just search google and i am never wrong. almost like they’re so out of touch or something.
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fifth, when eating ewa agoyin, constantly pay attention to the bread-to-beans ratio so you’re not caught off-guard by the sudden demise/disappearance of either one.
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i got a new job guys. after hundreds of applications, i start on monday.
idk how to process or express happiness these days, but it’s a big deal for me <3
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hi tech bro, what do you have there? oh? another app to send money? to bank the unbanked? aw, you shouldn't have!
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"so you sef dey craze?"
- policeman who saw me leaving the yaba neuropsychiatric hospital.
Write a sentence someone told you and is still stuck in your head till this day.
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a random apple in aso rock on the 8th of june 1998:
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it always kills me how life goes on when you’re going through it. you can be screaming in your head while your mother is telling you to warm egusi.
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drake: you’re short
kendrick: you’re white
solomon buchi: you might not be the most beautiful or the smartest
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sorry to disappoint you, but twitter is indeed real life, and that your stupid tweet is not ‘cruise.’ it’s a reflection of your empty head, you stupid fool.
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delayed gratification in tinubu’s nigeria? you go just kpeme. better gratificate now.
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lying down with my princess’s head on my chest. she’s adding stuff to her cart and i know i am going to pay for some of them. that makes me so happy. i would die for her if i could, and that will be dying happy.
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@_toluwanimiod
i am not into this for the money or the fame or the clout. this is real life, my life.
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@dolly_phantom
i will be hosting a masterclass to prevent this from reoccurring. bring your pen and paper.
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honestly took too long, but we’re here and grateful.
thank you to everyone who helped in one way or the other. i love you very much ❤️
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🔴Priests could be allowed to have sex in future, Pope Francis has suggested as he said he was open to reviewing the practice of celibacy
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the most important quality of intimacy is the foolishness. i don't know how else to name it, except childlike foolishness. the grinning and holding and laughing at the randomest of things. it's so foolish lmao
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gone girl by obongjayar & sarz is a perfect song. production, songwriting, singing - everything is just so perfect and beautiful.
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sometimes when i see some takes on twitter, i remember that our formative years were spent doing boys are better than girls/doctors are better than teachers debates. some people didn’t stand a chance.
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What is the reason you do not have your own peace of mind?
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when i was 14, i wanted a kindle that had just come out that year, but my mum couldn’t afford it. two weeks ago, i bought that exact version. so yeah, that’s something fun i did recently.
thanks for listening and i hope you have a wonderful night, i love you ❤️
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there’s this sudden love i have for asake, that i can't do a day without praying for him, since my mountain retreat. one time i danced around his image chanting strength in tongues.
something big is coming fellow skaters, pray for asake, the ancient mantle didn't come to play.
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@Anu_babyie
anu baby, please tell me you have plans to roll out the ‘buy airtime’ feature? can i also invest in US stocks?
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nigerian women are diabolically horny. please have some decorum, umu nwanyi.
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all my favourite things in the world belong to you. your laugh, the way you cover your eyes when i compliment you - the way you call my name. nobody has ever said it like you do.
happy birthday my oga, i’m always in awe of you. we’re going to have fun today, i promise.
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“there are some things you just can’t understand except you’re spiritual.”
Oyedepo could shoot a guy in the head and his followers would ask why the victim stood in front of the gun… all of them are hypnotised
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native:
Short Read: Dissecting The Role Song Lyrics Play In Enabling Misogyny.
Source:
@NativeMag
(2020)
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managed to write it.
“my new year resolution is to lose my fear of cringe.” by Oluchukwu.
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this morning i woke up without light and fuel. at first i was confused as to how i was going to survive, then i remembered that i hadn't hoped.
after hoping, three men wearing NNPC jackets knocked at my door with 60 litres of fuel.
let this be your cue to hope today 💗
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why do people talk about biafra like it’s something to be ashamed of? people gave their lives for a chance at freedom - that actually fills me with pride.
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omo, imagination nearly kill this one o 😭🤣
It's a thing of beauty when she visits, borrows the biggest polo in the wardrobe, looking all hot and enticing.
She enters the kitchen to make food and then while pounding, things and things starts wobbling and then the young man comes from behind to hold her, so they both hold
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@Zikstar4me
can't believe nobody DM'ed me to promote sex toys or telegram group chats. quite disappointed tbh.
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ladies and gentlemen! i present to you my directorial debut!
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i want to say that i lost myself this year, but i lost myself last year, & the year before that. i just keep losing and now i can’t even remember what i’ve lost.
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speaking of conversations, i’m tired of texting. i want all my friends to live in one big house so we don’t have to text again.
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drunk at a bar. we’re taking selfies in the bathroom. my girlfriend is wearing wunmi’s jacket because the chair is too cold. damn, i should’ve brought a jacket.
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brothers be damned. i had a fun time hanging out with my friends.
please who’s around chevron/ajah/sangotedo (i know 😔✋🏼) and wants to hang/do something fun?
my brother is so boring and i am going crazy from lack of activity.
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it's almost as if nigerians are afraid of the possibility that parents can be toxic. every time people talk about bad parenting and the ways it affects them, you people start defending what nobody asked you too.
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my mum graduated with the highest GPA, damn. what a babe 💜
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lmao make e reduce abeg. useless life.
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annual birthday letter.
26-07-2024.
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“nigerian jollof is the best”
When we successfully travel to Mars a Nigerian will be there waiting for us
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obafemi awolowo after suggesting biafra starvation:
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@iamcobbina
i don't know who these people are, mate. let me introduce you to the best player of this generation 💫
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following the end of the semester, i am in the market for gainful employment. hire/refer me because i am literally the best writer in the world.
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i just published ‘There is a Housing Crisis in Lagos.’
read, share, tell me you love me <3
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she didn't take her own advice :/
Lagos-based rapper and creative DETO BLACK (
@detoblack
) sets the stage alight with a stylish performance of her latest single ‘Nü Bag’. 👜
Full show:
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like this tweet and i’ll tell you what asake song your account feels like.
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friendship is such an intentional activity. it’s very important to tell your friends that you’re grateful for them and their love.
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like this tweet and i’ll tell you what tribe you belong to on the ancient planet of Orobosa.
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nigga supporting BAT talking about “don’t shame me for my choices.” you should be ASHAMED and you will be shamed today (in jesus name pls).
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of course it's indicative of the relationship between parent and child. the tweet is obviously directed at parents who use their financial muscle as an excuse to disrespect and abuse their children. you people understand relationship dynamics till it's children complaining.
See this conversation about having money so your parents can't control you?
I think it is very indicative of the kind of relationship they have with their parents.
If money is the weight tipper on the scale of respect between you and your parent(s) there is a bigger problem
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it's a new week my loves, so forget all that went wrong last week. just commit to trying your best this time around.
but, remember that becoming better isn't straightforward, so treat yourself with kindess.
i'm rooting for you x
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hey tech bro what’s up? what’s that? you’re building something? something cool? something disruptive? can i see? oh wow, it’s yet another solution to cross-border payments for africans? dope. real dope.
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here's my take: "double texting" is not a real thing - it's just texting. that prefix only adds unnecessary weight to what is otherwise an innocuous activity.
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in some personal news, i got a new job. i am so, so pleased to take another step in this seemingly endless journey as a capitalist slave.
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i saw a tweet yesterday that said nigerians are “starved” of good music right now and it made me so angry. what do you mean by starved? there’s great music everywhere you turn.
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hi writers come back here and show off ur recent wip or any wip u will work on!! show the aesthetic of it or a short snippet or a meme or any accomplishment/update u want to share!! anything!!
(if this flops we will all look away)
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hey guys,
my story ‘Ponmo is a Bird That Has No Place in a Cultured Culinary Sky’ is on
@NStreetss
!
read, share, tell me you love me etc etc ❤️
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like this tweet and i’ll send you a song to start your day (idc if you’ve started your day since).
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10 million of Queen Dora Akunyili’s naira for YP to tell you how he was trapping in Nnamdi Azikiwe Airport.
Fuck ya features aswell. I’m not clearing nothing to drop no more if u ain’t got 10m. Tired of these using ass niggas.
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i'm sorry if this is too negative, but i don't like anything i'm doing. i don't wake up excited/interested in my days. i'm struggling to do stuff i thought i liked.
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like this tweet and i’ll tell you what your parallel self is doing on earth f-256.
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hello, my name is oluchukwu and i love my girlfriend. there’s so much love in my heart for them that it feels like it (my heart) is going to burst.
as you were.
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“what gives me concern, really, is the fact that people are willing to set this country on fire”
- somebody that’s holding the kerosene and matches.
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like this tweet and i’ll tell you why i like you/your account.
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if you’re my friend, like this tweet, and i’ll let you know why i like you🤚🏼
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In his forthcoming memoir, Prince Harry acknowledges looking to the black UK community for help in spicing up his relationship with Meghan. “She was pleasantly surprised when I talked about her bunda and called her a big batty gyal.”
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can’t even relate. starting my new job today.
POV: You've transitioned from broke student to unemployed graduate.
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customary end of year thing - pls read, share, tell me you love me etc.
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i don’t like “go where you’re loved” as a response to people expressing disappointment at how they’ve been treated. it’s too simple a retort.
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one last thing before we call it a year.
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i made it to work safely (sweating like a cow, harassed by police, severely dehydrated, fought a foolish bus driver, ate 9 puff puff inside danfo).
thank god for journey mercies.
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there’s no light so i am not watching the champions league.
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i was watching the BBC mini-doc on influencers paid to spread misinformation about the elections and this part killed me.
this is the dictionary definition of cognitive dissonance. i still can’t believe she said it. if i was the reporter, i’d have knocked her head.
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