Autistic Comedian | I talk about Disabled Rights, the Autistic Experience, and Spiritual Abuse | Likes/ Retweets do not equal Endorsement | Opinions are my own
If your child is Autistic and you don’t want to tell them because you don’t want “to label them” please know that other children have already labeled them with some cruel labels.
Growing up, every single Christian man mentor/ leader/ teacher I had objectified me and taught me that I made men sin just by existing in my CHILD body.
But the middle-aged Jewish ballet dancer I took classes with saw me in leotard 3 times a week and never batted an eye.
The Autistic experience of having “panic attacks” for years and feeling stupid for not knowing what you were upset about… only to realize you’re having meltdowns
Autistic kids are taught to look strangers in the eyes (even if it hurts) hug their relatives (even if it hurts) wear certain clothes (even if it hurts)…
Autistic kids are constantly told that their bodily autonomy is superseded by what other people want.
Autistic kids are taught to look strangers in the eyes (even if it hurts) hug their relatives (even if it hurts) wear certain clothes (even if it hurts)…
Autistic kids are constantly told that their bodily autonomy is superseded by what other people want.
People love to talk about how the meanest girls in school all became nurses but when a disabled person says they are mistreated by medical staff suddenly that’s impossible???
When you say people can’t “self-diagnose” with Autism, you’re saying Autism is just for rich people.
I totally understand the sentiment if you’re new to the concept! But self-diagnosis isn’t a whim. It’s a long, serious process. And “official” diagnoses can cost thousands.
In college I was literally close to death due to stress and mental health problems, both related to my Autism.
But if a non-autistic looked at college me, and also a non-speaking Autistic who is thriving and healthy, they’d label me “high-functioning” and him “low-functioning.”
⚠️ Mental health crisis
In college my stress was so high I was blacking out along the edges of my vision while walking to class. My hands shook for hours at a time.
But I hid my shaking hands. No one suspected I was Autistic.
Imagine if you wanted to learn about dogs but you only studied Chihuahuas. Then you’d see a poodle on the street and think “that can’t possibly be a dog!”
Yeah that’s what science has done with Autistics.
Sensory overload:
What happens to parents of toddlers when the floor goes crunch, things smell… odd, everything is sticky, it’s SO LOUD, and silence is stressful because that means trouble and you end up crying in the closet with Cheezits.
But constant.
When I was in a psych ward there was a little shelf built over the bed. On one of my last days I finally looked up. There were dozens of messages of encouragement carved into the shelf, the only place housekeeping wouldn’t see.
Autistics “sensory seeking” isn’t some weird alien concept. Non-Autistics do it too, in their own way: Rollercoasters, water slides, hot tubs, saunas, ice cold showers, these are all examples of intense sensory experiences that “normal” people do for fun, or to manage emotions
I could go on, but I’ll keep this short.
Sam and I were there for the same reason — because we loved our bodies and we loved to make them dance. Around Sam, I felt more “Made in the image of God” than I ever did around the men who micromanaged me for wearing shorts.
Situational Non-Verbal-ness:
that feeling you get when something super shocking happens and even though you might know what you want to say, you just can’t collect your thoughts enough to say anything right away.
But for longer, and it’s easier to get to that point.
What healthy Autistic w/ non-Autistic friendships are like:
Legolas + Gimli. Rocket + Groot. Reyla + Callum. Lilo + Stitch. Han + Chewbacca.
It’s not about forcing the other to be more like you, it’s about accepting that you’re different and having adventures together.
Makeup being “professional” is so weird. It’s like “please complete a painting before work every day. Also the paint is super expensive and the canvas is your face.”
❓ They might not know their personality outside of Autism.
Sometimes when people have spent so long changing themselves to avoid conflict, they genuinely don’t know much about what they like, want, or think, because they’ve always been discouraged from expressing it.
🧑🏫 Autism education is deeply needed.
There is so much the world doesn’t know about Autism, and that information gap has likely caused your friend a lot of pain. Seizing every opportunity to close that gap could be their way to make the world a safer, kinder place.
Stimming:
When you get super stressed and have to pace or bite your nails or something… or when you get really really happy and have to jump up and down and scream.
Now imagine your threshold for when you needed that was much lower.
Special interests:
That feeling you get when you adopt a new pet and you spend all day every day buying them stuff and taking pictures and holding them and texting your friends about them because they seem like the most exciting thing in the world.
That, but with any interest.
Autistics will show emotions in Autistic ways.
If your Autistic kid is having a meltdown, it could be because of an Autism-specific reason (like sensory overload)… or maybe their crush just doesn’t like them back, or they had a fight with their BFF.
Hyperfocus:
That moment when the movie you’re watching is so good that you forget about the people making noise behind you or how bad you need to pee. You are lost in the movie.
That, but with any task, not just watching a movie.
When I was a kid my mom had a box of spare gifts that she bought on sale so when we had a birthday party to go to she could just choose a nice but inexpensive gift from the box.
Doctors telling Autistics that their stim doesn’t count because it’s not on their list is like a doctor telling an Olympic gymnast that they don’t exercise because gymnastics isn’t on their pre-approved list of workouts.
It’s not the movement that matters, it’s the function.
My ballet studio didn’t have many classes for older kids — just cutesy classes for little kiddos and adult classes in the evenings. Once I aged out of the kid classes, I went to dance with the adults. One student treated me with more respect than ALL the Christian leaders.
🚂 Autism can be a special interest.
Autistics obsessively learn about, think about, and enjoy being around specific topics. On TV those interests are usually something like trains or superheroes, but it really can be anything — including Autism itself.
💔 Working through trauma isn’t something you can turn off.
There can be decades of painful memories, weird habits, and confusing interactions that start making sense for the first time when we get diagnosed. That process is continuous — it doesn’t stop when we’re with friends.
Contrary to popular Autism myths, I can, in fact, understand sarcasm. I LOVE sarcasm.
That said, I had to learn it. It’s literally a skill I’ve had to curate.
Let’s call him Sam. Sam used to be a professional dancer and was married to my teacher.
Sam was the first man to ever treat little Autistic me like an adult — not in a creepy way, though. He just genuinely treated me like my thoughts mattered, even though we weren’t close.
These are the new levels of Autism. Please label yourselves accordingly:
Mild Autism
Hot Autism
Blue Raspberry Autism
Cool Ranch Autism
Surfer Cooler Mixed Fruit Autism
Neapolitan Autism
Wasabi Autism
Autistic stereotypes can be super damaging. However, just as a conversation starter, I’m curious to see what Autistic stereotypes are actually true for you personally?
I’ll go first: I LOVE Star Trek.
Makeup being “professional” is so weird. It’s like “please complete a painting before work every day. Also the paint is super expensive and the canvas is your face.”
🥰 Your friend might trust you more than other people.
Your friend may talk about Autism more around you than other people, and that may be because they know you don’t judge them for their Autism.
I can’t tell if hand towels are decorative or meant to be used when I visit someone’s house.
I want to blame that on my Autism but I feel like maybe everyone feels this???
🧔🏾♂️ I’m Autistic
👴🏻 No you’re not
🧔🏾♂️ Why do you say that?
👴🏻 I know an Autistic and he’s not like you
🧔🏾♂️ …
👴🏻 …
🧔🏾♂️ Sir have you heard of personalities?
@hayche_pylori
I am so sorry. That is (very obviously) a ridiculous reason. It seems to me that medical schools put ridiculous rules in place to create an image of “elite” education. They need to learn that just because the school is hard doesn’t mean the education is any better.
Many people assume that you can “train” sensory issues out of an Autistic kid, like you might gradually adjust yourself to a noisy air conditioner in a new apartment.
In reality, it’s more like training yourself to look straight at the sun (don’t do this).
There’s nothing unhealthy about an Autistic person being very focused on Autism. However, in my life, things calmed down after a while.
Getting diagnosed as Autistic as an adult was a massive reckoning.
Trying to choose your Autistic child’s special interests for them: 👎 unhealthy, won’t work
Casually leaving Marie Kondo books around in the hopes your Autistic child will develop a special interest in keeping the house clean: 👍 just giving them options, ethical yet strategic
When I befriended a girl I’d never met before at a Church event, the youth pastor made me go over to this girl I’d JUST MET a couple hours ago and tell her that she was dancing too sexy. It was MY JOB to MAKE her stop.
Autistics fighting ABA is so painful because people will describe ABA to you to ‘prove’ that it’s ‘helping’ their kid. You get detailed stories of other Autistics’ trauma thrown at you, often by the people forcing it on them, every time you speak up.
After years of trying to mask my Autism, being blatantly focused on Autism was a healing act of self-love. That said, over a year after my diagnosis, I have a lot better idea of who I am and what I like, and don’t feel the same crushing urgency to focus on Autism all the time.
I was 22 when I got my Autism diagnosis and it changed my life because I’d been operating with labels like “weird,” “lazy,” “pathetic,” “bad person,” and “stupid.”
The label “Autistic” was able to push those others away so I could actually love and forgive myself.
Katy Perry sang a song at King Charles’s party telling him to “own the night like the Fourth of July,” a holiday where we celebrate beating the King of England in a war so badly that he lost his grip of reality.
Homeschooling is so wild because it could be because you’re disabled
or got bullied a lot
or training for the Olympics
or because your parents want to teach you that Lil Nas X is the literal anti-Christ.
It’s a real grab bag.
Some people are afraid to consider that they, or their kids, might be Autistic. They’re afraid of what answering that question could unlock.
Here’s some major POSITIVES in my life that have emerged after discovering I’m Autistic: 🧵
I see the toxic “Autism Moms” (you know which ones I’m talking about) as just a different brand of the toxic “dance moms” and toxic “soccer moms.” 🧵
When you believe your child OWES you something just for being born, it’s going to end badly.
Of course, everyone is different. Just know that there are a lot of valid, pressing reasons someone might be “obsessed” with their Autism. In situations like these, a little patience goes a long way.
End 🧵
For me, personally, it was like a dam breaking - first there was a huge wave that drowned everything else around it, but then that went away. The river is still flowing, but it's not fighting to overcome being held back for so long the way it was before.
I posted that I don’t tolerate people posting their autistic kids’ meltdowns online and someone commented that it can be an ‘outlet’ and a ‘cry for compassion’ for themselves and the child.
As an Autistic myself:
If the cost of your compassion is my dignity, I don’t want it.