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The Onion

@TheOnion

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America's Finest News Source. A @globtetrahedron subsidiary.

Joined March 2008
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@TheOnion
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@TheOnion
6 months
Where there was darkness and no paper, now there is hope. And paper. Be part of The Onion’s return to print at
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3 hours
Blow your paycheck like a well-informed citizen.
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4 hours
56-Year-Old Roblox User Groomed By 68-Year-Old Roblox User
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5 hours
STIs: Myth Vs. Fact
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6 hours
Report: Average Male 4,000% Less Effective In Fights Than They Imagine
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7 hours
Appease your desperate need to belong. Become an Onion member today:
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8 hours
Man Allows All Cookies So Website Won’t Be Mad At Him
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10 hours
Wooden Spoon Only Thing In Man’s Life That Not Giving Him Cancer
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11 hours
Elon Musk Humps Nuclear Football
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1 day
You work too hard not to give us your money.
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1 day
Dunkin’ Pastries Included In Massive Recall
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1 day
EPA Warns Of Dangerous Levels Of Romance In Air
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1 day
New Indiana Law Requires Women Voters To Show Husband’s ID
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1 day
Your friends already joined, so you can safely conform. Become an Onion member today here:
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1 day
Man So Hungry He Could Eat An Orange
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1 day
Jerry Jones Signs 15-Year, $500 Million Life Extension
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1 day
Biggest Compliments Trump Has Given To Putin
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1 day
Musk Signals Willingness To Bid More Than $97 Billion To Acquire Respect
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1 day
Trump Orders Treasury To Stop Minting Pennies
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‘You Can’t Let This Happen,’ Says Fundraising Email From Sitting U.S. Congressperson
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Anti-Aging Millionaire Announces He Has Put In Purple Contact Lenses
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