Sarah Silverman
@SarahKSilverman
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We are on a planet in outer space
State of Palestine
Joined April 2009
Police fire tear gas into a peaceful protest of George Floyd’s murder but stood like the goddamn Queen’s Guard when white assholes w guns storm the state capitol protesting HAVING 2 WEAR A MASK IN A PANDEMIC. We live in 2 America’s & if this doesn’t make it clear ur a dummy.
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We can pump out half a million SuperBowl tee shirts for the losing team but we can’t make masks for motherfucking healthcare workers risking their lives everyday?.
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At this point we should probably just be called the states of america.
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Kanye threatened the Jews yesterday on twitter and it’s not even trending. Why do mostly only Jews speak up against Jewish hate? The silence is so loud.
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Stop calling them “underage women” if they are under age they are children. They raped CHILDREN.
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These motherfuckers are why this shit isn’t going away. They don’t give a fuck. Fucking selfish assholes.
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A guy tries to light his shoe on fire & 18 yrs later we still all take our shoes off through security. In that time there have been 37 MASS SHOOTINGS. And nothing. Not a single regulation.
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Dear members of ICE: “just following orders” is what nazis said during the Nuremberg trials. It is YOU who are doing these things. YOU are ripping children from their parents & holding them in cages. History will see that YOU carried out these crimes against humanity. YOU.
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-The people take to the streets, he militarizes the streets.-American youth speak out against him on on TikTok, he bans TikTok.-People register to vote, he delays the election.
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I can’t fucking bear this. How do you look at this and support Trump?? He did THIS to be purposely cruel. This is not how we are supposed to welcome the stranger. My fucking heart. I want to punch.
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We live in a country where a 15th woman has said the president raped her and nothing will happen.
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Barely made news yesterday. Another school shooting in America. Two kids murdered at school. Still no change in legislation, not even a conversation.
"Not a drill." Students hid in classrooms as shooter kills 2 at school
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Amazing!!.
@SarahKSilverman We’re in, Sarah. We are giving our employees Election Day off in the U.S. this year and partnering with to encourage employees to vote.
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When a plane crashes, air travel becomes exponentially safer bc of the lessons learned. But 1 mass shooting after another. nothing.
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We’ve got to stop the white house to prison pipeline.
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Let’s all take a beat & internalize this quote from the transcendent James Baldwin: “I imagine one of the reasons people cling to their hates so stubbornly is because they sense, once hate is gone, they will be forced to deal with pain.”.
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What fucking heroes. Making our streets safe from. factory workers? Parents? Families?.Smh.
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OTHER POLICE OFFICERS NEED TO SPEAK OUT AGAINST THIS. THIS DOES NOT HAPPEM TO WHITE PEOPLE WHEN THEIR 4 yo TAKES A BARBIE. THIS SHIT HAPPENS EVERY DAY. THESE COPS MUST BE FIRED AND ACTION TAKEN.
“I’m going to put a cap right in your f*cking head. ”. Just listening to the conversation here makes me sick to my stomach.
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Kneeling at a football game has nothing to do w disrespecting our military— THIS — this has EVERYTHING to do w it
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RIP RBG. Gutted. Sad. Grateful for all she did. And very very scared.
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NO ONE is advocating infanticide. You are lying. God sees you lying.
As Democrat Governors in NY & VA advocate for late term abortion & even infanticide - & Democrats in Congress refuse to allow a vote on the Born-Alive bill - TODAY in Times Square an ultrasound will be shown for all to see, demonstrating the miracle of life. #AliveFromNewYork.
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Keep saying “ban” when you know they are simply asking 4reform that BY FAR most Americans want — in fact, by far, most NRA MEMBERS want. U R being a good NRA employee by keeping us divided by perpetuating “ban”. Come on, Marco, you’re better than this. Re-evaluate ur life.
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Crazy misunderstanding— No players ever took a knee against the nat’l anthem. They took a knee in peaceful protest of police brutality. Do you read on the reg, or no? Anyway, you should apologize. ♥️
Congrats to Eagles whose players never "took a knee" against Nat'l Anthem but whose coach and key players took a knee for Jesus Christ in Super Bowl victory. Nice!.
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To the people shooting firecrackers and fireworks every night: I really really hate you for what you are doing to my dog. Hate is a strong word but I do. Sorry.
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Wow @realDonaldTrump look at all these PAID ACTORS!!!
Why only rallies AGAINST Trump have to be held outside:.#WomensMarch2018 .
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So @SenatorCollins either thinks that THREE women LIED to their husbands and therapists and children about sexual assault OR she just doesn’t give a fuck.
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This is a big mother fucking deal. It’s fucking atrocious. Blatantly unethical. These NC Republicans should be GD ashamed of themselves. You can’t pull this shit and act like you give a fuck about this country and it’s democracy. To end on a high note here’s the potato emoji 🥔.
Republicans in North Carolina used a 9/11 memorial to trick Democrats into missing a key vote
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I want to know what it is that makes certain people see this and think “I’d love to kill that”.
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There are children IN THIS PICTURE with tin foil for blankets. They have been taken from their parents as punishment for seeking asylum. You should be deeply ashamed of yourself.
ignoring the excellent care being provided to families and children. Our great @CBP agents deserve better and the American people deserve the whole story from CNN!
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READ THE WHOLE THREAD⬇️.
Now that billionaire child sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein is back in the news, it seems like a good time to take a closer look at allegations that Donald Trump raped a 13-year-old girl at Epstein's Manhattan home in 1994. Trump is more than overdue for his #MeToo reckoning.
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Norm was in a comedy genre of his own. No one like him on this planet. Please do yourself a favor and watch his stuff. He was one of a kind of all time.
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holy shit breath of fucking fresh GD air. watch thru the last second of this.
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To the bald hipster on Laurel Ave. who gave the finger to the black Prius driving too slow for him: that was me, I was dropping off my dad. I have memorized ur face, & when I see u again I’m gonna give u a hug so tight you’ll never be angry about stupid shit again.
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Usually when a man steals children and keeps them in cages he goes to jail. But in America he is neck and neck for president.
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the fucking rage I feel watching this is a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of the experience- the constant daily existence of being brown in America.
‘You have a dangerous object in your hand’ … ’I’m picking up trash’ — This officer pulled his gun on a student who was cleaning up trash outside his dorm
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FACEBOOK MAKES $$ SPREADING UNCHECKED LIES THAT INCITE RAGE &VIOLENCE , DIVIDE OUR NATION, & DESTROY OUR DEMOCRACY⬇️.
‘If Facebook were around in the 1930s, it would have allowed Hitler to post 30-second ads’ — Listen to Sacha Baron Cohen slam the social media industry for facilitating the spread of hate, lies, and conspiracies
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Jesus H there is a fucking lunatic in the White House.
REPORTER: What do you think the world should be doing about climate change?. TRUMP: "I feel the US has tremendous wealth. I'm not going to lose that wealth on dreams, on windmills - which, frankly, aren't working too well. I think I know more about the environment than most."
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I went to NYU for 1 yr w/ a very small scholarship ($1500 per semester) and my dad paid the rest. I was shocked at all the rich kids whose parents “made them” go to college. Seriously- let someone who wants to learn go in your shitty kid’s place.
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I just wanna say I shot mine before I saw everyone else shot shoulders up. #VOTE.
Celebs including @SarahKSilverman, @TiffanyHaddish, and @chrisrock are stripping down to bring attention to naked ballots and encourage voters to follow vote-by-mail instructions (via @representus)
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The United States government did this
With nothing but the clothes on his back and less than $300 in his pocket, this 'pillar of the community' was put on a plane and deported to Jordan after living in the United States for nearly 40 years
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Im gonna hold these children hostage until Dems agree to all the shitty things I want = this is on the Dems. You’re a damaged man. You’re emotionally able to ruin these children’s lives & use them as pawns bc ur life was ruined as a child. PLEASE GET HELP
The Democrats are forcing the breakup of families at the Border with their horrible and cruel legislative agenda. Any Immigration Bill MUST HAVE full funding for the Wall, end Catch & Release, Visa Lottery and Chain, and go to Merit Based Immigration. Go for it! WIN!.
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Don’t let this bully intimidate you. Voting is your RIGHT if anyone gives you trouble at the polls call 866-OUR-VOTE and they will help.
Law Enforcement has been strongly notified to watch closely for any ILLEGAL VOTING which may take place in Tuesday’s Election (or Early Voting). Anyone caught will be subject to the Maximum Criminal Penalties allowed by law. Thank you!.
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Your boss calls journalists the enemy of the people.
Deeply troubled to hear reports about Saudi Arabian journalist Jamal Khashoggi. If true, this is a tragic day. Violence against journalists across the globe is a threat to freedom of the press & human rights. The free world deserves answers.
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No point in explaining how mind blowingly stupid this tweet is so I’m just gonna go with FUCK YOU, and also add that you are a smelly penis hole with balls that touch water. Eat shit, you greedy twat.
Well, it happened again. Amy Klobuchar announced that she is running for President, talking proudly of fighting global warming while standing in a virtual blizzard of snow, ice and freezing temperatures. Bad timing. By the end of her speech she looked like a Snowman(woman)!.
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This is probably a silly idea but should we make it harder for people to get AR-15s?
Aurora: AR-15.Orlando: AR-15.Las Vegas: AR-15.Sandy Hook: AR-15.Umpqua CC: AR-15.San Bernardino: AR-15.Sutherland Springs: AR-15.
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My dad getting the shit kicked out of him everyday at school 4 being a kike to kids in NH throwing pennies at me on the bus to pastors in Florida calling for my death and telling their congregation that knocking my teeth out and killing me would be God’s work. #JewishPrivilege.
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I dare u2 find 1 Jew that gives a single fuck about saying Merry Xmas. This is an antisemitic lie made up by FoxNews/Breitbart & I resent it
Trump to Values Voter Summit: "We are stopping cold the attacks on Judeo-Christian values…We’re saying ‘merry Christmas’ again."
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This is a MAN. This is what being a man can mean.
'We all look at Kavanaugh and we see some similarities to things that happened in our lives.' — This man perfectly described what it means to live in a rape culture
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PLEASE RELEASE AND REUNITE THESE CHILDREN IN CAGES TODAY.
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The same politicians who push this blame Hollywood bullshit are always the ones that end up on Dancing With The Stars.
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You’re the embodiment of extreme, almost impossible ignorance, combined with projectile-vomit inducing arrogance. But mostly you’re just the dumbest, shittiest person on earth. And that’s also science.
In the beautiful Midwest, windchill temperatures are reaching minus 60 degrees, the coldest ever recorded. In coming days, expected to get even colder. People can’t last outside even for minutes. What the hell is going on with Global Waming? Please come back fast, we need you!.
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No punishment on the table for the impregnators. Death for the living woman who has the nerve to decide what is right for her. Wouldn’t want to ruin a promising young man’s future.
A bill in the Ohio House would criminalize abortions in all cases, and possibly allow the death penalty against women who get abortions.
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I’m so sorry I try to give love but this person is human garbage.
Trump on mimicking Christine Blasey Ford: "It doesn't matter. We won." (via CBS)
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Did conservatives have to fight 4 the right to marry? Have children? Do they get beaten up & murdered 4 their identity? Does the VP want them to pray the conservatism away? Do conservative children kill themselves at an alarming rate bc of how they’re treated at school & home?.
Is “conservative” the new “gay”?
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No one becomes a billionaire without screwing the people that got em there.
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I think I figured it out: Liars think everybody lies.
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I’d love to see Trump say any of this shit he’s saying about Obama to his face. He doesn’t have the labias. He is a smelly, smelly penis hole of a man.
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Warren sees the big and small picture. The macro and micro. The systemic and systematic. She has long term and short term plans, and she fucking cares. #DemocraticDebate.
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That baby was orphaned in the shooting. THUMBS UP.
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This year let’s take the path of most resistance.
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Congrats Sheldon Adelson on buying your wife a Presidential Medal of Freedom! “He went to Jared!” 💎.
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Like pro-lifers, I believe in protecting the life of the child. Where we differ is I want to protect the girl being forced to have a baby at 12, and the toddler being separated from his parents & kept in a cage for the crime of wanting a safer life. See we’re dif but the same!.
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White people who aren’t aware of the massive amounts of racism & inequality everyday in this country are like pretty girls who think “everyone’s so nice!”
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The entire @gop should be deeply ashamed. 3000 children w no plan to connect them back to their parents. The only plan was chaos, at the expense of CHILDREN & their parents, who risked everything to escape violence & get their children to a better safer life. Jesus was a refugee.
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I watched a Jonestown massacre doc, about a snake oil salesman who hypnotizes 1000 people into worshipping him. He calls journos who expose him “Fake News” & then instructs his followers to drink poison Kool Aid. Reminds me of someone but I can’t put my finger on. .
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I love you brothers but navigating the male ego is fucking exhausting.
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You are a rich toddler w chocolate all over his face accusing the maid of eating the cake. Your delinquency hurts people. People are suffering from your tantrum-level refusal to live an examined life.
Any deaths of children or others at the Border are strictly the fault of the Democrats and their pathetic immigration policies that allow people to make the long trek thinking they can enter our country illegally. They can’t. If we had a Wall, they wouldn’t even try! The two. .
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Ummmm your king is a reality show host who creams his jeans over Kid Rock & Kimye.
Pence goes after Oprah as she campaigns for Stacey Abrams in Georgia: "This ain’t Hollywood"
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You got care and meds no one else has access to. You are a disease spreading cunt with no regard for American lives at home or abroad. God sees you.
I will be leaving the great Walter Reed Medical Center today at 6:30 P.M. Feeling really good! Don’t be afraid of Covid. Don’t let it dominate your life. We have developed, under the Trump Administration, some really great drugs & knowledge. I feel better than I did 20 years ago!.
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27 white males just decided what Alabama women can and can’t do with their own bodies and lives. *(Males cause 100% of unwanted pregnancies).
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I’m confused. Do you know that you are lying? God sees this.
CNN is so dishonest. Today we took reporters to a detention facility on the border for families and children and all told us they were being treated well.
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Now looky here- I’m moved by Bernie and he’s my pick. But the choice isn’t the lesser of two evils it’s the greater of two goods.
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ONLY two??? How about there are TWO WHOLE ENTIRE FUCKING STATES that give RAPISTS PARENTAL RIGHTS.
Alabama is one of only two states that doesn’t bar rapists from having custody of children conceived by their assaults.
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When the heads of the most powerful countries in the world see zero value in talking to the POTUS
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Wow. I’m heartbroken about Bernie. In all this darkness, he made me believe that people, together, could be the light. He continues to be an inspiration. And he’ll never stop fighting for us. Thank you, Bernie. For me, you’re right up there w Mr. Rogers.💔♥️.
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When this is all over and you write a fun book rebuking everything & acting like you were an innocent passenger in all this, America will remember your indignant lies. You make choices every day.
We stand by our decision to revoke this individual’s hard pass. We will not tolerate the inappropriate behavior clearly documented in this video.
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The aggressively stupid and totally fringe NeverWarren hashtag is trending because of the people who are pointing out that it’s stupid. Don’t let a few dummies ruin Bernie or Warren for y’all. They are both stellar leaders and humans.
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It’s because it’s filled with corporate bailouts that leave working Americans vulnerable, Liz.❤️.
Senate Democrats are blocking emergency relief for Americans suffering from our public health and economic crisis. Lives are on the line. Literally. Quit playing politics & pass the bill.
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Great to see that the man who coined the word "libtard" will be the senior advisor to the potus while the First Lady tackles bullying.
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Dad’s tricycle got stolen today. When he realized he just said, “I hope whoever stole it needs a bike and will get lots of use out of it” and he meant it 100%
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This isn’t how a leader behaves. Ever. I’m telling u this bc I care. I think u should stop threatening journalists. People died 4 the freedom of the press. Ur vindictive bc they’re not saying what u want. That’s ego based stuff. U should apologize. U can still change.
I will be announcing THE MOST DISHONEST & CORRUPT MEDIA AWARDS OF THE YEAR on Monday at 5:00 o’clock. Subjects will cover Dishonesty & Bad Reporting in various categories from the Fake News Media. Stay tuned!.
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I was at a coffee shop and spilled a little by accident, resulting in an under-my-breath “oy.” A guy near me said “did you just say ‘oy?’“ and I said yeah and he said, “Happy New Year”.Life is sweet.
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I can’t fucking believe there are still “nude” bras & nylons & BAND AIDS- if you are a company still using NUDE to describe an exclusively caucasian shade in 20motherfucking19 you need to CHANGE NOW or go tha way of zee dinosaur, Babee.
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Stop re-enacting your father’s coldness toward you. You’re not Fred Trump and we aren’t 10 year old you. Stop it, you shitty shitty person. Feign humanity.
There is no reason for these massive, deadly and costly forest fires in California except that forest management is so poor. Billions of dollars are given each year, with so many lives lost, all because of gross mismanagement of the forests. Remedy now, or no more Fed payments!.
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Can’t wait for every woman in North Carolina to vote.
GOP candidate Rev. Mark Harris says wives should ‘submit’ to their husbands, cause God says so
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He may be an old fuck but this old fuck is getting shit done.
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It takes real lips to do something so personal and true in comedy I love you Cecily Strong.
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Trump you fucking pussy. Too entitled to serve our country when called, too afraid of your stupid hair getting wet to honor those braver than you. You FUCK. (Don’t @ me w/ he couldn’t fly- it was a 90 minute drive).
@EdKrassen @realDonaldTrump "As we sit here in the rain, thinking how uncomfortable we must be these minutes as our suits get wet and our hair gets wet and our shoes get wet, I think it's all the more fitting that we remember on that day, in Dieppe, the rain wasn't rain, it was bullets," Justin Trudeau
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