findlay
@s_findlay
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Pinned Tweet
sports are so fun, I think there's blood in my mouth
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I'm sorry but Marcus Stroman is an all time Toronto Blue Jay. No one has ever been so online and ready to fight always, even years after leaving. I saw this headline with no further information and was instantly like that's my guy Marcus and he is correct
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my grandma bought a raincoat for herself that was too big, so she gave it to me and I foolishly assumed it was normal. nope turns into tiger print when wet
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just because one chooses to fight Corey Perry doesn't mean one thinks he intentionally hit Tavares. for example I wanted to fight Corey Perry last week and this hadn't even happened yet
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sorry are the cops parked on a sidewalk, forcing a guy with a cane into the bike lane, in order to ticket cyclists for speeding? are all the bike cops busy beating up the disenfranchised somewhere?
Watch out riders. Police are ticketing cyclists for speeding above 20km/h in high park.
#biketo
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Hi. Roy Halladay was, without question or hyperbole, my favourite person in the world. I'd do him an unkindness by not telling you why.
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Marco Estrada on the radio saying he's a Blue Jay for life 🥲 okay playoffs fiiine you got me
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Jose Bautista could have tied this game 4 times over with his eyes closed
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teams across baseball can eat shit or get vaxxed
To be clear: This is not just a Red Sox thing. Teams across baseball, sources say, are concerned with the ramifications of unvaccinated players not being allowed to play in Toronto. If the rules don't change, they could offer a significant competitive advantage for the Blue Jays.
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I know everyone had fun this year, but I will never love a Blue Jays team more than this one
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my one Christmas wish is that the Dodgers release Trevor Bauer and then also he disappears from society and I never have to hear anything about him again unless it's that his dick got caught in a bear trap
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what if the Blue Jays just play each other for three months and never mingle with anyone else's cooties
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this team might employ 45 pitchers I don't give a shit about, but at least they also have Bo Bichette who wears his uniform absolutely outrageously because he is a gift
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we still hate you
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name something MLB loves more than making sure the Jays aren't playing on Canadian holidays. I'll go first.
that's right, it's
making the Jays wear ugly hats to acknowledge American holidays
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I myself got vaccinated to participate in public health and safety, but if you needed to wait until you weren't allowed to get an indoor table at Milestones anymore that is also fine.
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The Ford family is a fuckin' plague and if you don't view their potential resurgence as a moral crisis then I hope you forget to vote.
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Hello I got a dog. So far this consists of me telling him "This is your house! You live here," every ten minutes.
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on this day in history ❤️
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Mike Pence should be booed everywhere he goes. At Hamilton, at work, in the street, by his wife when he gets home at night. Everywhere.
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Doug Ford is door knocking in my neighbourhood today and I'm gonna sit outside and wait for him with an air horn
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I've been tweeting about sports for literally like 15 years at this point and without question the most scum sucking freak asshole responses I ever get are from people name searching Trevor Bauer because they wanna cape for a rapist.
Just wanna say
@lindseyhillll
forever 🩷🩷
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I cannot describe how much Luke Schenn and Morgan Rielly being perfect defensive partners feels like someone read my dream journal
Morgan Rielly and Luke Schenn are starting to turn into each other.
What a playoffs they have had.
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the dumbest thing the liberal party does is force this guy to stay on script. he is so much more likable when he is kinda mean.
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everybody's mad about that other Rosie column but let's not lose sight of the fact that she is also terrible at this part of her job. just say one thing normally! what the fuck on earth are we doing here
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"Blue Jays and Rays won't see each other again until September 15th" don't threaten me with a good time, Buck
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the question that springs to mind in response to "Trevor Bauer wants to return to MLB," is not "oh no, is he still having casual sex?"
Former Reds pitcher Trevor Bauer says he's grown up, not having casual sex anymore
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Kevin Pillar sucks and spending his years as a Jay not uplifting or encouraging or supporting him was truly a pleasure for me.
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booing, empty, down by ten runs - missed u 2007 Blue Jays experience
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Nobody cares about how you're taking care of your customers, we only care about how you're taking care of your employees, please stop emailing me.
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Speaking of V Dub, never forget that his response to a heckler was to ask him what gas station he worked at so he could come yell at him while he did his job and then signed the ball "your favourite centre fielder, Vernon Wells." An angel.
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more men could stand to take a lesson from Joey Votto, in that they should write me beautiful pages long apologies for hurting my feelings years ago
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Rosie DiManno used to make me believe I could go to journalism school and write about hockey, not because she's also a woman but because she fuckin' sucks and apparently they just let anyone do it
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Since the fuck when, you goldfish-minded twat?! You let Jeter decompose at short for lukewarm applause in every park
Joe Girardi: "My job description does not entail farewell tours."
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Fuck Kane, fuck the poisonous hockey culture that raised him, fuck the writers/players who voted for him and fuck the NHL for looking away.
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I wrote this thing on John Gibbons, uncertainty and dresses. Mostly uncertainty.
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you invited Rob Ford on your show at the height of his obvious lack of faculties to take jabs and celebrate his catastrophic persona, dicknose.
What
@TheRealRoseanne
said is indefensible, but angrily attacking a woman who is obviously not well does no good for anyone. Please take a breath and remember that mental health issues are real. The Roseanne I know could probably use some compassion and help right now.
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Listen I have put up lawn signs in elections, I know it is a shit grind and it sucks when people steal them, but if you put up a Ford for Premier sign in Scarborough then you get what you get. And what you get is me taking it. Bye.
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"May the 4th be with you" is nowhere near as good as "have an imperial March" and I think it's time we all took a stand about it.
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I wanna watch Marcus Stroman because watching Marcus Stroman is fun and I don't give a fuck what beancounter business bullshit reason you have for moving him. 👊🏻
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Remember that time Jose Bautista hit a homerun so monstrous that the cameras shook while trying to focus on dejected Cole Hamels? Same.
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Robbie Ray looks like he should have half a pack of cigarettes rolled into his sleeve
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the Shoppers self checkout has too many options to click through. you only get to make me scan and hit how to pay. if you're gonna ask me to buy a bag and donate two dollars and agree to a printed receipt you gotta pay a cashier okay, it's too many things I'm just trying to leave
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I am firmly pro both talking shit about Randal Grichuk AND pro Marcus Stroman in general so that one is pretty easy
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This felt too personal, even for me, but I couldn't say nothing. So here is this, instead.
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I mean I was aiming for JP Arencibia but okay
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you know who knows how to reach unvaccinated seniors? their family doctors. you know who doesn't? social media interns posting on instagram
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the Catholic Church is a crime ring and their tax exempt status should be revoked yesterday
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this one is my favourite because most people would've just let Steve keep digging his own grave but Jose took the shovel and kicked him into it. just so YOU are sure of it
.
@simmonssteve
for clarification, no they don't....i tweet myself and that was me last night just so YOU are sure of it
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The thing about The Dark Knight Rises is that it was totally fine and all of your nitpicky whining is karmically the reason we got stuck with Ben Affleck as Batman instead of someone who could play Bruce Wayne.
(all three of these movies are perfect thanks for your time)
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If Jose Bautista came to me and said "Can I have -" my answer would be "YUP" before he finished his sentence.
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Part of Jose Bautista Celebration Day should be that Gregg Zaun is banned from television.
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The worst thing about the Leafs losing, and it's a long list for me, is having to listen to deadbeat clown local media dissect the fallout. I refuse to accept that there is a subject on this earth that Nick Kypreos knows more about than I do.
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@Logancouture
I mean you immediately followed this tweet with one saying you don't actually vote, so.. if you're asking if we punch people who are dumb and unnecessarily incendiary.. yes
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things I would be willing to endure in order to sit by myself at a baseball game right now
-an RA Dickey start
-playing anyone in the AL East
-Kevin Pillar takes 9 at bats
-someone nearby tries to start to start the wave
-you think it's the beer guy but it's the $20 slushies guy
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I don't really care about athletes the way that I used to anymore because I'm like 80 and have met adult men and they're horrible. Having said that!!!! Jason Spezza is a dream and I love him exactly the way I would have at 16 provided he wasn't a Sen at the time
jason spezza keeping up a running commentary for more than five minutes to help john tavares stay calm and awake - john later told him that despite being in and out of consciousness he recognised jason’s voice and knew he’d been talking to him
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Roberto Osuna refusing to talk to Rosie DiManno just makes me love Roberto Osuna a lot more, which I had previously assumed was impossible.
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in fairness to Alek Manoah, I too would respond to a demotion at work by performing worse than ever before
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people are like why aren't you as into the Jays anymore and I am like every time I turn the game on they are getting no hit by some stranger with two first names
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You'll should have known about Bobby Orr the second you found out he was Don Cherry's favourite hockey player.
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gonna do an announcement about how Trevor Bauer is a fuckin dickhead, get ready everyone
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we hate you but I assure you that isn't why
But do Toronto fans love me? I thought they hated me after the 2016 playoffs
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Stoked to see Ontario schools are following Major League Baseball's reopening plan of "we're just fuckin' doing it, buds."
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Very Dan O'Toole of the Mets to suggest via vague statement that Yoenis Cespedes was missing when it turns out he was safe and sound and away from the Mets.
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I swear to god if I don't get an insincere screencap of the Notes app from Josh Donaldson about how much he loved Toronto
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Randal no one likes you already, don't make it worse
@BauerOutage
Yooo Trev, I think you need to come north of the boarder! Toronto fans would really love you.. just sayin..
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Blue Jays chasing free agents like I watched Breaking Bad: sometimes I just tell people I did so they don't get mad or talk to me about it.
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btw a rushed 6pm press conference on a Friday means the mayor cheated on his wife not that the biggest free agent in baseball history is signing in your city. just FYI. so we're all on the same page administratively
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do the Blue Jays not know how many A) better B) cooler C) funnier D) less openly cunty baseball players there are than Trevor Bauer
do people not know how many A) better B) cooler C) funnier D) less openly cunty baseball players there are than Trevor Bauer? not knowing your other options is the only excuse for dying on that particular hill
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Women don't like sports because men are screaming nightmare children who never, ever shut their pieholes.
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@jparencibia9
@JesRey7
k you're not allowed to make videos about getting bullied online when you deserve it, though
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I didn't say it, Josh Donaldson did. I'll say this, though: get right fucked.
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I am gonna be on my deathbed having forgotten the names of all my friends and family but still knowing every word of Forgot About Dre
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Did I just mutter "suck it Pedroia, you rat fuck" to no one while standing alone at my six-year-old nephew's birthday? Who can say for sure.
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just tell me what street I'm under, jesus fuck
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I wish the Yankees and Red Sox being good made me want to go to the gym instead of making me want to lie down and die
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@JustJem24
which part of the spectrum does "bizarrely comfortable with participating in the cover up of an affair within the friend group" land on, is it close to the ADD side orrrr
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sometimes I remember when I first started liking sports and was very careful to make sure men didn't think it was because I thought everyone was cute. what a waste of time everyone is SO CUTE
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I NEED Marcus Stroman to hate Trevor Bauer. Like physically need it in my heart
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I hope Brian Burke beats the shit out of Eric Staal in a barn somewhere. Happy Thanksgiving.
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People think the Panthers blowing a 3-0 lead would be funny but like. Not as funny as Corey Perry continually signing and losing with the
#2
team every year at the end of his career like the embodiment of some witch's curse
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Captain Holt is the best character on TV and the death of Brooklyn 99 is a travesty.
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I had a very bad day and one of my friends took very good care of me by doing a bunch of stuff that I'm sure was nothing to him but was huge to me. Do small things with great love and take care of your people. Or just come drink beers in the park. ✌🏻
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If Gregg Zaun were still playing baseball, six Texas Rangers would be dead right now.
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Hi, Canada? If you see racist garbage stapled to trees, consider taking it down instead of photographing it for people to retweet.
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BREAKING no camping
BREAKING the pet store is closed
BREAKING don't go outside but also don't stay inside
BREAKING exist in a void
BREAKING don't go to work 😉😉😉
BREAKING get ready to chase the ice cream truck from Twisted Metal around your hot spot neighbourbood for a vaccine
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Uhh this story about an ongoing baboon fight for supremacy at the Toronto Zoo is insane. You're welcome
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I can't believe I went to bed a normal person and woke up having to love Joe Kelly.
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Pour out your energy drink and solemnly crush the can on your forehead.
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I will never ever ever in my long legged life love a team as much as those terrible Jays ones that were only worth watching once every 5 days. ❤
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Portnoy claiming to not understand why people think Barstool is full of clowns is A) hilarious and B) a great reminder to check your clown friends. They're like if every guy you didn't bother telling to shut the fuck up unionized and spent their dues on harassment classes.
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Stroman mouths off (correctly) about the team being garbage and I gotta hear about it 80 ways from Sunday from everyone who has ever held a microphone, but we're sticking with the team statements about a domestic abuser. Cool yup good choice for nose/grindstone.
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When people like Christie Blatchford die, it reminds me that the literal only thing I care about anyone saying about me is that I was kind. I don't want anyone pretending to care about my job or my accomplishments or a thing but whether or not I was nice to them.
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