I'm sorry but Marcus Stroman is an all time Toronto Blue Jay. No one has ever been so online and ready to fight always, even years after leaving. I saw this headline with no further information and was instantly like that's my guy Marcus and he is correct
my grandma bought a raincoat for herself that was too big, so she gave it to me and I foolishly assumed it was normal. nope turns into tiger print when wet
just because one chooses to fight Corey Perry doesn't mean one thinks he intentionally hit Tavares. for example I wanted to fight Corey Perry last week and this hadn't even happened yet
sorry are the cops parked on a sidewalk, forcing a guy with a cane into the bike lane, in order to ticket cyclists for speeding? are all the bike cops busy beating up the disenfranchised somewhere?
To be clear: This is not just a Red Sox thing. Teams across baseball, sources say, are concerned with the ramifications of unvaccinated players not being allowed to play in Toronto. If the rules don't change, they could offer a significant competitive advantage for the Blue Jays.
my one Christmas wish is that the Dodgers release Trevor Bauer and then also he disappears from society and I never have to hear anything about him again unless it's that his dick got caught in a bear trap
this team might employ 45 pitchers I don't give a shit about, but at least they also have Bo Bichette who wears his uniform absolutely outrageously because he is a gift
name something MLB loves more than making sure the Jays aren't playing on Canadian holidays. I'll go first.
that's right, it's
making the Jays wear ugly hats to acknowledge American holidays
I myself got vaccinated to participate in public health and safety, but if you needed to wait until you weren't allowed to get an indoor table at Milestones anymore that is also fine.
I've been tweeting about sports for literally like 15 years at this point and without question the most scum sucking freak asshole responses I ever get are from people name searching Trevor Bauer because they wanna cape for a rapist.
Just wanna say
@lindseyhillll
forever 🩷🩷
everybody's mad about that other Rosie column but let's not lose sight of the fact that she is also terrible at this part of her job. just say one thing normally! what the fuck on earth are we doing here
Speaking of V Dub, never forget that his response to a heckler was to ask him what gas station he worked at so he could come yell at him while he did his job and then signed the ball "your favourite centre fielder, Vernon Wells." An angel.
Rosie DiManno used to make me believe I could go to journalism school and write about hockey, not because she's also a woman but because she fuckin' sucks and apparently they just let anyone do it
What
@TheRealRoseanne
said is indefensible, but angrily attacking a woman who is obviously not well does no good for anyone. Please take a breath and remember that mental health issues are real. The Roseanne I know could probably use some compassion and help right now.
Listen I have put up lawn signs in elections, I know it is a shit grind and it sucks when people steal them, but if you put up a Ford for Premier sign in Scarborough then you get what you get. And what you get is me taking it. Bye.
I wanna watch Marcus Stroman because watching Marcus Stroman is fun and I don't give a fuck what beancounter business bullshit reason you have for moving him. 👊🏻
the Shoppers self checkout has too many options to click through. you only get to make me scan and hit how to pay. if you're gonna ask me to buy a bag and donate two dollars and agree to a printed receipt you gotta pay a cashier okay, it's too many things I'm just trying to leave
this one is my favourite because most people would've just let Steve keep digging his own grave but Jose took the shovel and kicked him into it. just so YOU are sure of it
The thing about The Dark Knight Rises is that it was totally fine and all of your nitpicky whining is karmically the reason we got stuck with Ben Affleck as Batman instead of someone who could play Bruce Wayne.
(all three of these movies are perfect thanks for your time)
The worst thing about the Leafs losing, and it's a long list for me, is having to listen to deadbeat clown local media dissect the fallout. I refuse to accept that there is a subject on this earth that Nick Kypreos knows more about than I do.
@Logancouture
I mean you immediately followed this tweet with one saying you don't actually vote, so.. if you're asking if we punch people who are dumb and unnecessarily incendiary.. yes
things I would be willing to endure in order to sit by myself at a baseball game right now
-an RA Dickey start
-playing anyone in the AL East
-Kevin Pillar takes 9 at bats
-someone nearby tries to start to start the wave
-you think it's the beer guy but it's the $20 slushies guy
I don't really care about athletes the way that I used to anymore because I'm like 80 and have met adult men and they're horrible. Having said that!!!! Jason Spezza is a dream and I love him exactly the way I would have at 16 provided he wasn't a Sen at the time
jason spezza keeping up a running commentary for more than five minutes to help john tavares stay calm and awake - john later told him that despite being in and out of consciousness he recognised jason’s voice and knew he’d been talking to him
people are like why aren't you as into the Jays anymore and I am like every time I turn the game on they are getting no hit by some stranger with two first names
Very Dan O'Toole of the Mets to suggest via vague statement that Yoenis Cespedes was missing when it turns out he was safe and sound and away from the Mets.
btw a rushed 6pm press conference on a Friday means the mayor cheated on his wife not that the biggest free agent in baseball history is signing in your city. just FYI. so we're all on the same page administratively
do people not know how many A) better B) cooler C) funnier D) less openly cunty baseball players there are than Trevor Bauer? not knowing your other options is the only excuse for dying on that particular hill
Machado is going to the Yankees. Yankees go out and get everyone. Red Sox are lethal. Rays are dangerous. Can never sleep on the Orioles. I’m going to the gym. Gonna be in my zone all year. Excited to compete in the best division in baseball!
#ALEast
@JustJem24
which part of the spectrum does "bizarrely comfortable with participating in the cover up of an affair within the friend group" land on, is it close to the ADD side orrrr
sometimes I remember when I first started liking sports and was very careful to make sure men didn't think it was because I thought everyone was cute. what a waste of time everyone is SO CUTE
People think the Panthers blowing a 3-0 lead would be funny but like. Not as funny as Corey Perry continually signing and losing with the
#2
team every year at the end of his career like the embodiment of some witch's curse
I had a very bad day and one of my friends took very good care of me by doing a bunch of stuff that I'm sure was nothing to him but was huge to me. Do small things with great love and take care of your people. Or just come drink beers in the park. ✌🏻
BREAKING no camping
BREAKING the pet store is closed
BREAKING don't go outside but also don't stay inside
BREAKING exist in a void
BREAKING don't go to work 😉😉😉
BREAKING get ready to chase the ice cream truck from Twisted Metal around your hot spot neighbourbood for a vaccine
Portnoy claiming to not understand why people think Barstool is full of clowns is A) hilarious and B) a great reminder to check your clown friends. They're like if every guy you didn't bother telling to shut the fuck up unionized and spent their dues on harassment classes.
Stroman mouths off (correctly) about the team being garbage and I gotta hear about it 80 ways from Sunday from everyone who has ever held a microphone, but we're sticking with the team statements about a domestic abuser. Cool yup good choice for nose/grindstone.
When people like Christie Blatchford die, it reminds me that the literal only thing I care about anyone saying about me is that I was kind. I don't want anyone pretending to care about my job or my accomplishments or a thing but whether or not I was nice to them.