Mr. Peanut
@MrPeanut
Followers
123,142
Following
212
Media
2,308
Statuses
21,164
Mr. P, Aries, Inquisitive.
Planters
Joined December 2010
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The Internet: “But Mr. Peanut, it’s
#NoNutNovember
!”
My Brain:
Don’t say it
Don’t say it
Don’t say it
Don’t say it
Don’t say it
Don’t say it
Don’t say it
Don’t say it
Me: I. AM. A. LEGUME.
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No, he's dead. Thank you for checking in though.
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how do you do. i'm the mister of peanuts.
🎩
⠀ 🧐
🥜🥜🥜
🥜 🥜 🥜
👇 🥜🥜 👇
🥜 🥜
🥜 🥜
👞 👞
⠀ ⠀ ⠀ 🤠
🥜🥜🥜
🥜 🥜 🥜
👇 🥜🥜 👇
🥜 🥜
🥜 🥜
👢 👢
howdy. i'm the sheriff of peanuts
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I’m officially 21, my friends! Before you ask, yes, I was just a baby. What can I say? It’s been a nutty year. Now someone get this peanut a beer!
#MakeMyBirthdayNuts
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Well, wish I thought of this earlier.
...The Nut King
💧💧💧💧
( 🔵 _🔵 ) 🥜
🥜
<( ) -----🥜
🥜
/ \ 🥜
/ \ 🥜
|| || 🥜
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Who else would like to see that?!
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🎶 break up with your kale chips 🎶
😏
👊/🥜\_
_/¯ ¯\_
🎶 i’m bored 🎶
👋
\ 😜
🥜 \_
_/¯ ¯\_
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Cop: "Mr. Peanut, do you know why I pulled you over today?"
Me: "Was I speeding?"
Cop: "It's
#NoNutNovember
"
Me: I. AM. A. LEGUME.
Cop: Carry on.
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This year, instead of spending $5 million dropping me off a cliff again — please don’t — I’m spending it on the people who helped make the world a little less nutty.
2020 was a year for all of us. Let’s celebrate those who went
#ANutAbove
.
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Girl Scout cookie season is the best season. And Troop 6000 helps girls from New York shelters find comfort in community.
So I’m buying 10,000 boxes to help them go
#ANutAbove
their goal — and donating them to a local food bank.
(P.S. Tagalongs over everything, don’t @ me.)
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Anyone: *says anything*
Me: Do I look like I was born yesterday?
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The pet I want: 🐶
The pet I'm financially and emotionally prepared to care for: 🐠
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The floor is a lifetime of free peanuts
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My friends gave me a new giraffe friend! Any name ideas? Also what's a giraffe?
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Who wants to join my squad? All are welcome. It's pretty nuts.
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At this exact time two years ago, I was dead. Life is crazy.
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I drew a shellf portrait! What do you think?
____
| |
____|____|____
( O_o )
) ( __
( ) |’'‘’
| ⏝ | |
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Thank you. A moment of silence is absolutely appropriate during this time.
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Tomorrow’s a big day! And while most of the world seems pretty big when you’re a baby, tomorrow is actually going to be huge.
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📍Me
|
|
| _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
|
📍 Groceries I need |
to survive |
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _|
|
|
|
📍Snack aisle
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Ladies, if he:
– has curves in all the right places
– insists on dressing formally for every occasion
– is known to crack under pressure
– has a fire Twitter feed despite being 102 years old
– is technically a legume
He's not your man. He's your
#WingNut
, Mr. Peanut.
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.
@KoolAid
Man, we couldn’t have done it without you. Thank you and your
#magictears
for instilling me with life! I tip my hat to you.
#BabyNut
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according to my calculations
━━━━━ ━━━
┃ ┃
┃ NUTS ┃
┃ ┃
└━━━━━━ ┘
7 ┃ 8┃ 9┃ / ┃
━┛━┛━. |━ ┛
4 ┃5 ┃6 ┃ + ┃
━┛━┛━┛━ ┛
1 ┃ 2 ┃ 3 ┃ = ┃
━┛━┛━┛━ ┛
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You never really know someone until you hear them pronounce “pecan”.
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Whether you are scaling a rock wall or hitting a mid-afternoon wall at work, get a wholesome boost of goodness with
#PlantersNUTrition
.
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Playing with some new designs 🏀 Tag a friend who you KNOW could pull these off.
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Looks like I’ll have to remind Chet that “sampling” the nuts isn’t in his job description.
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Glad I was able to catch up with you,
@KoolAid
, it’s a nutty time right now. 🥜
#StayConnected
#StayHome
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𝙋𝙇𝘼𝙉𝙏𝙀𝙍𝙎.𝘾𝙊𝙈
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I'm pleased to announce the most important development in culinary history: CHEEZ POWDER
It's pure Cheez Balls flavor in a shaker. You can tweet at me or reply below using
#CheezBallsContest
and telling me what food you'd put it on!
See rules:
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Looks like I’ll have to remind Chet that “sampling” the nuts isn’t in his job description.
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Alright,
@Wendys
. Roast this nut!
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Being a baby definitely has its perks. All you babies out there – enjoy it while it lasts!
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I was today years old when I found out another commonly used term for Hazelnuts are “Filberts”.
Here I am thinking "legume" was awkward.
#TheMoreYouKnow
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Really want my pacifier right now but getting out of my crib is gonna be a whole thing.
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It’s officially p̶u̶m̶p̶k̶i̶n̶ ̶s̶p̶i̶c̶e̶ 𝙝𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙮 𝙧𝙤𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙙 season.
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A record number of baseball games have been postponed this April. Maybe it’s time your WingNut sponsored a new favorite pastime, what should it be?
Axe Throwing
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LARPing
170080
Spearfishing
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Bird Watching
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@lizwearstights
Both?
Basically, when I died, Kool-Aid man's magic tears brought be back to life as a baby. But because the peanut aging process is different from that of a human, I have now completed the aging cycle & am back to my full adult self (105).
I know, it's a lot.
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With
#ValentinesDay
around the corner, it's officially
#CrunchTime
! But don't worry, I've got your back. Together with
@AskDrRuth
, we are answering YOUR relationship questions. [🔊ON]
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It came far too soon this year.
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There's nuttin' more important than family.
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#ValentinesDay
｡ﾟﾟ･｡･ﾟﾟ｡
Roses R red
ﾟ･｡･ﾟ
｡ﾟﾟ･｡･ﾟﾟ｡
Violets R blue
ﾟ･｡･ﾟ
｡ﾟﾟ･｡･ﾟﾟ｡
U can't spell LEGUME
ﾟ･｡･ﾟ
｡ﾟﾟ･｡･ﾟﾟ｡
w/o ME & U
ﾟ･｡･ﾟ
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When
#CrunchTime
hits, ask yourself this: What would Mr. Peanut do? For inspiration, check out this never before seen extended cut of my Big Game commercial now! WARNING: It’s rated NUTS.
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