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@martinbrandon_

Followers
1,703
Following
248
Media
177
Statuses
1,868

Chicago, IL
Joined March 2023
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@martinbrandon_
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5 months
Feeling big
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@martinbrandon_
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7 months
Am I….. in love?
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@martinbrandon_
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7 months
Lmfao turns out I’m a top?
@martinbrandon_
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7 months
The way I’m about to get my back broke
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@martinbrandon_
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6 months
Starting to get a little thicker ☺️
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@martinbrandon_
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6 months
Need him to call me a f*ggot while shoving my face into the bed immediately
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@martinbrandon_
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7 months
I’ll bite
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@heyjaeee
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7 months
Quote this with your best pit pic of 2023 pls
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@martinbrandon_
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4 months
Met my neighbor. He’s an insufferable frat bro himbo type. Stupid hot tho, so it’s not the worst thing
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@martinbrandon_
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7 months
They’re little but they’re growing! 🥹
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@zacatack26
Zach Smith 🤠
7 months
Quote this with you best chest pic of 2023 pls
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@martinbrandon_
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11 months
Posting because my fade looks so clean 😮‍💨
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@martinbrandon_
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4 months
Officially one whole year living in Chicago
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@martinbrandon_
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4 months
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@martinbrandon_
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7 months
October -> December Happy to finally see some real progress 🥹
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@martinbrandon_
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3 months
I love these two so much
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@martinbrandon_
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3 months
@colynelliott Amen ends and it’s back to American Requiem like clock work
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@martinbrandon_
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7 months
I know I’m getting old because new 17 piece stainless steel pan set just for delivered and I feel like a kid on Christmas wanting to cook a 5 course meal immediately
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@martinbrandon_
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8 months
💙💙💙
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@martinbrandon_
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10 months
Summer is over. Time to find a boyfriend before it gets frigid
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@martinbrandon_
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10 months
6 whole months living in Chicago today and what a dreamy 6 months it has been
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@martinbrandon_
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3 months
Said boy is coming to stay with me for a weekend. May have flirted my way a bit too deep for my liking 🫠
@martinbrandon_
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3 months
Smiling about at my phone for a boy who lives 1500 miles away
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@martinbrandon_
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7 months
The way I’m about to get my back broke
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@martinbrandon_
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6 months
Look how hot my friend is
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@martinbrandon_
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4 months
In the mood to get really stoned and fuck up some Olive Garden
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@martinbrandon_
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8 months
Good morning
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@martinbrandon_
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6 months
@Bencouvy David Henry in that one scene with gray sweats changed my life
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@martinbrandon_
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1 month
Blasting this picture everywhere because I love it almost as much as I love the people in it
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@martinbrandon_
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1 month
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@martinbrandon_
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5 months
Well my lease is signed. Officially leaving the Loop and calling oldtown home ☺️
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@martinbrandon_
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20 days
Four of my favorite people 🤍
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@martinbrandon_
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5 months
@jasonrcastillo_ Hey are you free on 2/14, Valentine’s Day? I can’t really tell
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@martinbrandon_
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7 months
Someone be romantic with me
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@martinbrandon_
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7 months
@Kzaddy96 Thank you for your support during this difficult time 🫶🏽
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@martinbrandon_
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4 months
Hate when my husband who is not my husband and has no idea he is my husband doesn’t reply to my stories. So rude
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@martinbrandon_
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8 months
@heyjaeee And they are FUCKING. Love the representation ☺️
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@martinbrandon_
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7 months
Sometimes I be s*xting and am dead ass stoic just knowing I’m not going to do half the shit I’m saying or ever meet this person, but it makes them feel good lmao
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@martinbrandon_
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22 days
Hungover h*rny putting absolutely through it this morning 😫
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@martinbrandon_
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4 months
All the boys have their tits out running by the lake. Were so back
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@martinbrandon_
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21 days
Everyone tell this beautiful bestie boy of mine happy birthday or have bad luck for 7 years
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@martinbrandon_
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2 months
I have no words but I do have two holes
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@martinbrandon_
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10 months
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@martinbrandon_
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1 month
I love attention
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@martinbrandon_
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10 months
Why do men?
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@martinbrandon_
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4 months
Obsessed with my new view 🥹
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@martinbrandon_
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8 months
Hungover and violently h***y
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@martinbrandon_
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6 months
This snow makes me want to drink a filthy martini in a red velvet booth with a bar with low lighting and just watch the snow fall
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@martinbrandon_
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2 months
I’m sorry, but the eye contact?
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@martinbrandon_
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3 months
The Hemsworth boys are just built different
@ThePopTingz
Pop Tingz
3 months
Liam Hemsworth looks handsome in new selfie.
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@martinbrandon_
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1 year
Everyone hates my glasses, but i love being annoying
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@martinbrandon_
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8 months
Jonathan Bailey had that back ARCHED
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@martinbrandon_
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5 months
@KingOfClass_ And we love them for it! Haha
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@martinbrandon_
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4 months
Relocating to the Olympic village this summer
@PopCrave
Pop Crave
4 months
The 2024 Paris Olympics has lifted their intimacy ban and will stock up 300,000 condoms for the athletes. The ban was previously placed during the 2020 Tokyo Olympics to prevent COVID spread.
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@martinbrandon_
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7 months
Something about a man in a snap back, hoodie and a peacoat that makes my h*le jump a little
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@martinbrandon_
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2 months
Karma really is a bitch because what the fuck. This and now Dom’s?
@KalobGossett
Kalob Gossett
3 months
How does the third largest US city consistently have an awful pride lineup??
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@martinbrandon_
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7 months
Ended up at Charlie’s on a Thursday 🤢
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@martinbrandon_
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5 months
Stoked to get silly stoned and eat a fuck ton of sushi with the boys tonight
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@martinbrandon_
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4 months
Every time I’m like yea, let’s start dating again. I am quickly reminded by you f slurs why I mind my business and stick to me and mine
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@martinbrandon_
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6 months
A hot bath with a plugged in toaster sounds so inviting right now
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@martinbrandon_
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10 months
Vinny - “Let’s make a scene and pretend we’re fighting”
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@martinbrandon_
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2 months
I don’t think I’m built to live in the Midwest anymore
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@martinbrandon_
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5 months
DID SHE SAY DROP THE NEW MUSIC?!?!
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@martinbrandon_
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2 months
I delete Grindr then walk down wells on a warm day and think, lemme redownload
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@martinbrandon_
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5 months
@KingOfClass_ Okay Olivia Rodrigo!
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@martinbrandon_
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11 months
Help
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@martinbrandon_
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3 months
Nobody wants to have fun anymore
@wthjosee
꩜ Jose
3 months
gay guys that make out w random gays at the clubs are gross asf, like wtf do u mean the club is your irl grindr
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@martinbrandon_
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3 months
Two days in a row with a short sleeve shirt and no jacket walking to work
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@martinbrandon_
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3 months
Spent the day super stoned watching every documentary i could find on Chicago and watched the rain. 10/10 vibes
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@martinbrandon_
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1 year
@lordandtyler I just choked 💀
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@martinbrandon_
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17 days
There is just something about a ginger ale 30,000 feet in the air
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@martinbrandon_
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29 days
I’m digging the beard on me right now, but a mustache feels so much sluttier for summer. Decesions
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@martinbrandon_
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3 months
Hozier getting his flowers. Iktr
@talkofthecharts
Talk of the Charts
3 months
Hozier’s “Too Sweet” is aiming to reach #1 on the next Billboard Hot 100 with a projected lead around 20 points. It would mark his first career #1 hit on the chart.
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@martinbrandon_
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5 months
Law Roach reading Geneva down. Danny Devito legs. I’m sorry I’d off myself 😭
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@martinbrandon_
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7 months
This checks considering my entire gym playlist is a Beyoncé mix
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@martinbrandon_
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5 months
The sun is shining, the lake looks insanely blue, people are out and about, I’m going thrifting, I’m not hungover. Today is a good day
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@martinbrandon_
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7 months
Violently h***y out of nowhere and stuck at the office. This is my 13th reason
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@martinbrandon_
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7 months
Just order 70 dollars worth of Thai and smoked a fat joint. This is heaven
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@martinbrandon_
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5 months
And a Jess Glynne album? I am staying fed this year
@jessglynne
Jess Glynne
5 months
JESS Pre-order 16th Feb
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@martinbrandon_
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3 months
She’s deserves every little trip she takes. THREE music videos for these singles and the album isn’t even out?
@DUALIPA
DUA LIPA
3 months
ILLUSION OUT NOW !!!!! I hope you love this song and video as much as we really truly loved and had fun making this. This song started everything for this album sonically and it was the first song I wrote with "the band” it has just made me even more excited for Radical Optimism
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@martinbrandon_
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6 months
Need to add a man with a dog to the roster this year
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@martinbrandon_
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22 days
I haven’t really listened to Chappell Roan until recently and when i tell you i am obsessed
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@martinbrandon_
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2 months
There is a man from Louisiana who just eats crawfish on TikTok and when i tell you I have never been so turned on by a man eating? I will watch every video
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@martinbrandon_
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1 year
Went to Charlie’s and came home with all of my clothes. It’s the little wins
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2 months
The rat hole, a pastor as a CTA director, Doms and now swim club? Down bad babes
@BlockClubCHI
Block Club Chicago
2 months
JUST IN: Friday Morning Swim Club has been canceled this summer as the organizers blame the city's "unreasonable" demands.
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@martinbrandon_
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6 months
Mission accomplished minus the velvet booth
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@martinbrandon_
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6 months
This snow makes me want to drink a filthy martini in a red velvet booth with a bar with low lighting and just watch the snow fall
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@martinbrandon_
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2 months
Went to dinner with my ex Monday and realized this is the first time in 5 years we don’t know things about each other’s lives anymore
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@martinbrandon_
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11 months
I need to speak to my therapist immediately because the level of delusion taking me over rn 🤡
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6 months
My cousin giving me a gift addressed to my ex and myself. Christmas is over!
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@martinbrandon_
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10 months
In the mood to get stoned and go smash some Olive Garden
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3 months
27 tracks. Beyonce said you’re getting an ALBUM
@PopBase
Pop Base
3 months
Tracklist for Beyoncé’s ‘COWBOY CARTER’: 1. AMERIICAN REQUIEM 2. BLACKBIIRD 3. 16 CARRIAGES 4. PROTECTOR 5. MY ROSE 6. SMOKE HOUR WILLIE NELSON 7. TEXAS HOLD ‘EM 8. BODYGUARD 9. DOLLY P 10. JOLENE 11. DAUGHTER 12. SPAGHETTI II 13. ALLIIGATOR TEARS 14. SMOKE HOUR II 15. JUST FOR
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@martinbrandon_
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5 months
Welp. That was short lived.
@martinbrandon_
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5 months
I hope all you little cuties who live in Chicago are able to get outside for a little hot girl walk in this weather
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@martinbrandon_
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5 months
Me on 3.29 when the album drops
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@martinbrandon_
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10 months
I’m officially going to be straight. My coworkers weekends are much more mild. This gay shit is kicking my ass
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@martinbrandon_
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7 months
If my man ever cheats on me (I don’t have a man) we are gonna play this game and this is how he’s gonna find out
@mamaztheguru
Mama Z
7 months
I cannot stop screaming at this
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@martinbrandon_
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11 months
Not a soaking clock!!!
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@martinbrandon_
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3 months
Hot neighbors blaring a club mix of how to save a life. Not as hot as i thought
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