John SUMIF() (fan)
@johnsummif
Followers
12,303
Following
2,533
Media
997
Statuses
7,936
pronouns: drunk/bald/chicago | (parody/not affiliated w john summit)
East Village, Manhattan
Joined May 2022
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Pinned Tweet
chicago ppl will say chi is the best city in the world in the summer and then they’ll post pics of them laying down at a cement beach
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Booked a trip to Tulum in January just so I can try to find this legend
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Steve Aoki has a hose of an arm.. absolutely painting ppl with 100mph fastballs
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yo can my homie get a tiny bump real quick
the homie:
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“Yo that molly was so weak can I re up?”
Me 30 min later:
Jason Kelce is top 2 guys you wanna party with & he isn’t 2
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Wow the 2023 Tomorrowland lineup looks insane
We’re delivering historic results for the American people.
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Now that guestlist groupies are canceled, the real John Summit fans get their chance to shake ass backstage
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Say what you want about his music but Aoki has an absolute cannon of an arm. Bullseye every time as well
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@CRABRANG00NSLUT
tell me ur salty abt getting rejected without telling me ur salty abt getting rejected 😭😭😭
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Last night was the first night I shed actual tears while listening to a song 😭😭
Thank you
@johnsummit
and
@haylasings
for making the most incredible song ever
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Lmao look at this guy rolling absolute sack at daft punks coachella set
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watching
@johnsummit
get rejected from gospel and them saying “if he’s famous he can buy a table” was the most nyc shit ever hahahaha welcome to the finance bro life John
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Sorry bae, but the Fred again boiler room set stays on max volume during sex
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Nora En Pure just ripped Where You Are in the Yuma tent and I think I saw God
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I’m sorry but this boiler room stage set up is getting so overplayed.. also makes zero sense to do it on a slanted platform where half the ppl can’t see shit lmfao
.
@Skrillex
’s five-hour Red Rocks set has started and of course it’s Boiler Room style 🐐
(🎥:
@TeamBandL
)
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New pro pic???
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Me at 6:917am pushing 16 straight hrs at mirage and john summit plays party diva for the 8th time
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Update — shades are off but that fan is going full turbo
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When you and your coworker are both “out sick” from work but spot each other at Chili’s ripping 3 for $10 margaritas at 11am
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there should be a Shazam for finding who has bag at a wedding
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I’ve waited 5 fkn years for this ID and fisher just rinsed it again in Romania 😫
Nothing tops this fisher era imo.. goated
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Edm Twitter bullied this guy to wear boxers and a Rolex to the gym now
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I was at an afters with Charlotte de Witte and offered her a shot and couldn’t have got rejected harder 😭😭😭
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The MMW Afterlife set leaked and oh my god I’m gonna cum
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prydz straight up poppin my opussy 😫😫
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acid trip is by far john summit’s best song u can’t prove me wrong otherwise
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Bro the finger gun 💀 💀 I need this 128bpm version of Drake to stick around forever
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Fred again picking literal hell on earth (Friday rush hr in Times Square) to play a pop up show lmao
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If a techno venue doesn’t look like a place where I could get eaten alive by zombies then I don’t wanna be there
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TSA guy checked my passport at security and when he gave it back to me I stuck my arm out expecting him to put a wristband/stamp on me lmao
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Drake listens to edm once and puts a daft punk sample on his album how cute
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Harry Potter racked tf out in the Uber back to hogwarts at 10:98am after going to his first John summit show
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Drake rly raging face with black coffee and Martinez bros lmao what the f
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looks like john got his rizz back 😅 sorry haters
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Why do all Miami girls say Dale who tf is this Dale guy
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Anyone else rolling for this Rihanna concert rn or just me?
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I’m your CEO’s favorite CEO
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Celebs: it’s Election Day yippee go vote
John summit:
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Spent 18 straight hrs at space and I haven’t eaten anything in the year 2023 besides gum
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Me at my desk on Monday morning after 4 days of bonnaroo and 4 days of electric forest running on 3 different withdrawals and -16 hrs of sleep
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Just thought about how Charlotte de witte and enrico sangiuliano’s child is prob gonna be the best techno DJ of all time
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John summit getting canceled for partying for the 800th time this year
imagine getting triggered by john summit tweeting about partying
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It’s funny when John summit steals my content and I get upset for a sec then realize I literally stole his identity and made him bald
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1 year ago I posted possibly the dumbest video of all time (John Summit bald at space) hoping to get a few likes or retweets… a year later here we are lmfao
No idea how it’s come to this point hahaha but thank you all for tagging along 🫡
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Now you can dress up as your favorite Baldie for halloween
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how many fkn finale tours is odesza gonna do lmao shits corny asf
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Tom Brady after one afters with John summit
brady only going to clubs unless he wins a super bowl is crazy lmao time to take buddy on a bender
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Remember that Subtronics & John Summit duo? This is them now
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Hearing that John summit blacked out so hard that the stadium blacked out too ???
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let the record show.. John Summif was the first baldie to play Take It Off on the terrace 😎
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Seth Troxler was my mood all closing party.. cooked beyond belief 😭
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feel like we don’t talk about tinlicker enough.. everything they make is fkn gold AND they’re so fkn bald
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Why watch Fred again skrillex four tet on mainstage when u can watch Cloonee Fisher and Chris Lake go B3B backstage on Bosse’s livestream
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The new UK Prime Minister is a confirmed raver.. love to see it
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u can’t tell me that a 4/20 style holiday for molly wouldn’t be the best day of the year
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Did anyone else think country riddim was a whole ass genre or just me?
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Look at this guy tryna impersonate John Summit what a loser
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