I am not watching The Bear. I am not watching Suits. Not watching You. If you held a gun to my head and said “watch 10 minutes of Euphoria” tell my mom I love her
No im not that hungry. I just ate. Yeah I’ll go to the restaurant with you though. But I’m not that hungry though. I’ll get something small. I’ll get 3 tacos with rice and beans on the side. Maybe even some chips. Something small like that
quit my job and moving north in a week with 2 suitcases of clothes and less than $1,000. Also taking with me a very angry heart. Most Miranda coded shit I’ve ever done. Whatever. I’m going to figure it out
witnessed a man headbutt his brother so hard in the face his nose started gushing blood all over the driveway. Like pouring out blood everywhere. Now they’re homies laughing in the garage. brotherhood is fascinating…
Fat girls in the gym are usually the ones wearing very short shorts and sports bras or crop tops. The skinny/fit girls are usually in leggings and a big t shirt or something comfortable like that. I’m not exactly hating nor being nice, but a secret third thing (noticing)
The Bible is a serious book. But it does have some funny moments in there, you gotta admit. What moment in the Bible do you find funny or makes you laugh?
Raw milk is disgusting. We live in a first world civilized society and people are actively choosing to consume milk riddled with E. coli and listeria. Pasteurization is not some evil sorcery. It just kills the dangerous bacteria you morons.
when I went to jail in November 2016 for being drunk and aggressive they told me my release time was 3 am but it was daylight savings and the clock went back 1 hour and I had to be in there for 1 more hour
Rocking chairs are the best chairs…… not talked about enough. Hanging chairs are a close second. Hammocks rule. Bar stools (the worst chair) are on notice
I have 8 people that share their location with me (5 family, 2 friends, 1 handsome man). I enjoy looking at the Find My app every morning and monitoring the situation. I like knowing where everyone is
[trying really hard to get a depressed 82 y/o woman to feel better] do you want to go for a 30 minute drive in silence? Get some ice cream? Walk around Trader Joe’s?
Randomly thought about 1st year I was in public school, after being homeschooled for years, and was being aggressively cyberbullied online by a girl I went to school with. My mom got so fed up she ripped the computer monitor out of the wall & threw it off a second story balcony
May 2022 was kind of wild (the roe v wade thing happened) you had adult men on here saying they were going to neuter themselves so they could bang tinder dates consequence free (trying to frame it like they were wholesome pro choice guys but let’s be real lol)
God: “… let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps upon the earth.”
Us: okay thanks!!!! 🐊💥🧹🏃😈
documentaries have become so bad after metoo. millennials talking like rape victims, breathlessly describing their trauma, shots of them staring off into the distance suggesting the long road to recovery, and you wait for the bombshell: someone sent an "inappropriate text."
“There’s some oat milk right there if you want more carbs but you called me a homo for drinking that. remember?” - a beautiful family member whom i love
I bought a bald eagle stuffed animal from Barnes & Noble and he has a little stain on his face. I like to buy the stuffed animals that are a little bit fucked up. “You may be damaged but I’ll love you!!” is my train of thought
Bigfoot lore/media is always so interesting to me bc let’s just say we do find him. Someone fr gets crystal clear footage of him. What then? What are we going to do? How would he contribute to my Christian autocracy
Libs love saying shit like “I love Kamala! Lol you could have a margarita with her 😂” who the hell cares. You can have a drink with anyone. I want a president I can chain smoke natural American spirit (light blue) with
Driving home on the freeway and it’s hella windy and this big ass tarp got stuck to my car and covered the windshield I COULDN’T SEE 😭😭😭 scariest sh*t EVAH! thank u Lord :3
Stayed up til 4 am watching some Rumble documentary about the Vegas shooting. Deprived myself of sleep just to come to the conclusion: “weird night man… weird night in Nevada…”
Whenever I see a snake I go “aww he’s kinda cute” and then think about how truly funny it is God’s sentence on the snake was to be a weird looking fucked up creature with no feet forever. I wonder what the snake looked like before
@fullautoslurs
They do!!!! In Nevada they issue them “Driver’s Authorization Cards”. I’m almost positive there’s something similar in other states. Deal with them all the time at work. They cause the accidents and then retain lawyers for insurance money lmao
Thinkin abt when I worked w ALL women (cocktail waitresses) & women fresh off the boob job were so annoying to be around. “I’m in so much pain!!” “I can’t do that rn” “I just had surgery!” girl idgaf! U better get on the floor & sell some DRANKS I know u financing that boob job!!
If I had a truck I would put a big American flag waving on the back of it. Trying to figure out what I would use for a second flag. Maybe another American flag
“Pedo” has fallen under the category of useless overused terms imo. Hearing “pedo” online is like hearing “racist” “hitler” “fascist”. Means nothing anymore