Billy The GOAT
@CrazyNairobian
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Pinned Tweet
Return of the THREADS
Links to my THREADS 👇
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Alex Ndiritu started a movement in the US while still in his bedsitter in Ndenderu... King shit 🐐
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Happy New Ear Robert, if anybody tells you they can see your ears know that It's Alai
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Siku za mwisho vile tarumbeta zitalia najua Magix Enga ataseme wame sample kutoka kwa beats zake.
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Tutatenga...
Tumepanga...
Tutateremsha...
Tutahakikisha...
Tutashirikiana...
Tutapunguza...
Sijui kama tunaelewana Okiya Omtatah?
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Forget A or B, how would you like to C my D 😍😍😍👌
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Hakuna heartbreak hukuwa devastating kama your first campus love akiwachana na wewe uanze kumuona akizungushwa campus mzima kama proforma ya mazishi... Hostel to hostel midfielder. THREAD 😩
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Nakumbuka kuna msee class ya bio ali uliza mbona nyoka iko na sumu kwa mwili na haikufi, mwalimu akamjibu ati ni same tu na vile mwanaume ako na sperms na haziwezi fanya ashike mimba... I still remember you Mr. Oloo 😩
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Speaking of mathematician, how would you like to replace my X without asking Y? 😍😍😍👌
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Incase you are having a bad day, kumbuka ni wiki yenye form ones huenda preps ya asububi na ya usiku kusoma dictionary, atlas na Bible 😏
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Your own country couldn't come up with a flag of its own, it had to copy paste the German flag with a malnourished crane added to it 😩
Poor countries like Kenya have the longest National Anthems because they explain all their problems in it.
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Kuna Makanga ame shout "Ni mwisho wa stage oya chezeni kama saloon" kila mtu kwa mat akachanganyikiwa so imebidi ame explain "Shukeni" imebidi hata sisi wanaume tumeshuka ni kama tuko na umama 😩
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Another year older and wiser, a black king was born today... I give thanks for this far 🙏
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Jacob Juma fighting this current regime from his grave is crazy. He died in 2016
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The question is, how will Waiguru Ann her living? 👀
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Otile Brown aliimbia Vera Sidika wakaachana, Diamond aliimba na Tanasha wakaachana, khaligraph alimba na Cashy wakachana, Timmy Tdat waliimba na Kush Tracy wakaachana, Nyashiski don't do it bro... Sing for us, not her 👀
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Family gathering ya watoto wa Diamond Platnumz in the near future itakuwa kama AU meeting 😩
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Kuna form 4 alikuwa amezoeya kuniibia juice alafu ana dilute nisijue. So kuna day nimekuja na dawa ya wamaasai kwa chupa ya Quecher, jamaa akadhani ni strawberry flavour aka amka magizani kuiba, akachota akachapa flash... Ilibidi ameniamsha kuniuliza kama ni sumu amekunywa 😩
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Niaje Fam! Nadai 2K Retweets na LIKES mimi na
@Starchebet
tupewe lunch na Kulan Cuisine & Cafe
@KulanCafe
.
Hii lunch ina depend on nyinyi, mistari zangu zisiende bure 😭🙏
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Unakaa Covid-19 👀
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Nairobi unapata mna share dem kama logins za Netflix. THREAD.
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So Rozie the stripper from Telegram is Sharon Nduta the influencer from Twitter? 🤔 What type of career confusion is that? Mnatuchanganya 😭
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Alex Ndiritu trending at number 1 followed closely at number 2 by White House... We lead, others follow 👀
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I'm the freedom that my daddy fought for call me Uhuru,
Mr. bars on bars, walitaka Magufuli wakapata Pombe tu,
I ball different, waki Copa America na kopa China,
The original Post Maloan, give me a loan and leave me alone,
If Uhunye was a rapper, Quote tweet with 4 of his best bars 😂😂😂.
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Hi Pal
@SafaricomPLC
tunataka quarantine data offers, kama FREE Twitter hivi for the next 30 days 👀
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Watoto wangu walifaa ku inherit hiyo account by the way, waone vile baba yao alikuwa ana struggle ku quote picha ya every fine girl on Twitter akijaribu kuwataftia mama atawapea sura juu hii yangu ni ya ku inflict the fear of God pekee... Oh well, we begin 😩
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I understand what Yvonne Okwara is trying to say, she's simply fighting for gender equality and trying to brng an end to this purported fight against women... As in, if you can get Brenda's nudes atleast get her Brian's nudes too. Mnaona nikipewa? 👀
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Wale mlicheza Temple Run hadi mwisho, huyo fala hupewa medal na glucose huko mbele ama ni kiherehere tu huwa anakimbia bure?
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Gabriel Oguda is not celebrating the closing of businesses. He is just highlighting the "siasa mbaya maisha mbaya" thing. It's a reality.
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Reckless and Burna Boy should do an album and name it "Yes Burna" 😏
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Edith Bootita Vs Eddie Butita
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You realize waiters are male and waitress are female right? 👀
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Niaje Waiguru, uli Anne aje hizi pesa uko nazo?
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LRT. Okiya Omtatah dug deep in the 17 billion oil scandal. Anne Njeri was just the face. Murkomen and Chirchir in the mud.
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All these art in one picture but you're the one I want to nail against the wall 😍😍😍👌
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It will now cost you KSh 50,000 to get married at the Attorney General office. Previously it would only cost you KSh 5,000. Getting married is now a scam in Kenya.
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Jacob Juma tweeted this in 2015. He was assassinated in 2016. It's 2023, Ruto is President and guess who are his powerful ministers? The three attack dogs 🤔
Ruto has very vicious and cowardly attack dogs, the likes of Murkomen, Kindiki & Duale. When they bark, you may think they control the world
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Remember Kenya too, we even have a town with your last name... Huru Ma ♥️🙏
Go Asia! We will donate emergency supplies (1.8M masks, 210K test kits, 36K protective suits, plus ventilators & thermometers) to Afghanistan, Bangladesh, Cambodia, Laos, Maldives, Mongolia, Myanmar, Nepal, Pakistan & Sri Lanka. Delivering fast is not easy, but we'll get it done!
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Unadhani umeangukia mtu ana own matatu kumbe umeangukia mtu ana own ma-tattoo tu. THREAD.
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Ni April 12th, Prophet Owuor alisema dunia inaisha leo... His followers must be prepared by now.
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It's ironic kwa hii picha ameshika ball lakini hata deliver 😢
President Uhuru Kenyatta meets AFC Leopards, pledges stadium
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Time ya ku edit huyu ali sahau kuweka coma. Kuna this app on the playstore inaitwa "Fake Text" Kenyans wanaitumia pale kwa matatu ndio wasilipe fare. Na pia kwa clubs and hotels. Kama wewe ni waiter/waitress it's just a matter of time before you understand what I'm talking about.
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Office boyfriend wanapewa briefing ya vile the mbuzi was slaughtered, how shots of Vodo was in plenty and how they were missed alafu waambiwe "By the way lunch is on you today" 😩
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Imekuwa rare kuona polisi akiserve and protect hadi tunaapplaud a fish for swimming
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Alex Ndiritu ana comment from his single room in Ndumberi anafanya wame dispatch the whole of FBI, CIA, SWAT na Secret Service kwenda White House ku beef up security 😭
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Diamond Platnumz, he has played women in different countries 👀
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Hayuko Tanzania lakini anakunywa Pombe Mug-full 👀
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Ni heri utumie dem fare akule kuliko akuje na aanze kukukula akili 😩. THREAD.
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Campo unajipata mnashare dem kama urinals. THREAD.
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Anne Njeri admits she met MP Oscar Sudi and CS Davis Chirchir. Oscar Sudi was representing ofisi kubwa read 'State House'. Okiya Omtatah is not a mad man.
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Tumekaa sana bila kuskia Diamond amepeana mimba, is everything okay in Tanzania?
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We were only joking Robert. But thanks for giving me Tweet of the Ear 😂😂🙏
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This tweet should have been put in billboards around Nairobi just before the election.
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Nimewai jichocha kutetea dem kwa vita, mwanaume alinichangamkia mangumi ni kama anakanda unga ya kupika mandazi. THREAD.
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Kuna married nigga mahali saa hii anasumbua mama watoto apenduke, jamaa sai ana beg "Beb, ulisema leo..." na bado atakuwa dismissed na "Hii kitu ni yako baba nani haiendi mahali, lala utaamsha mtoto"
Tweet for married niggaz 💔 😭😭
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Hi Beb
@Rihanna
I hope you are doing well, I got your missed call and I know you must be worried that something happened to me coz I'm in Africa. I'm good Beb, I've quarantined myself... Sina credo, I miss you too 😭 stay safe Beb, mwaaaaaaah!!!
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Kibaki's administration replaced the laminated National IDs with durable plastic National IDs for Kenyans, free of charge. Kenya Kwanza Government is on drugs.
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Watu wa iPhone wako afadhali wakifukuzwa na landlord juu ya rent wanaeza ishi kwa home button.
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In 2027 the Government will temporarily scrap all these ID fees to allow more people to get IDs so that they can vote. Check back this tweet with me in 2027.
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"Ni nani hukula hii kitu?" is actually a complement in Kenya to show a woman is beautiful.
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Mnakumbuka mkiwa na ambitions mkiwa wadogo ati "When I grow up" well you're now grown up and still miserable and no longer optimistic... Ambitions zili fade kama jeans sai bora umeamka asubuhi, umepata kitu ya kudanganya njaa nayo alafu jioni una drown your sorrows kwa pombe.
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Imagine Africans tukibaki pekee yetu on this damn earth, haha, naija movies ndio zitakuwa our Hollywood movies, Diamond ndio atakuwa our Justin Bieber, South Africa ndio itakuwa the super power country juu ya economy yao 👀
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Mutahi ako na 30 more days za kuendelea kuwa news anchor.
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KCSE results za leo zita determine content creators na Gengetone artist wa next year...
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Pray for my pal Morara, ali join UoN 2007, hajawai maliza campo juu ya strike after strike, election, sasa Corona holiday inaweza fanya afunge shule tena 😭😭
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Bedsitter ukisimama karibu na TV uko sitting room, ukisimama karibu na kitanda uko bedroom, ukisimama karibu na gas uko jikoni... Top tier housing facility hiyo 🔥👌
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Juu ni 420 leteni your most embarrassing weed experience stories tucheke.
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Kuna camera guy amelala kwa Bahati ndio aamke mapema achukuwe Diana Marua akienda kupikia Bahati chai... Kazi ni kazi lakini 😩
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KBC with a last minute screamer.
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Sai Dennis Itumbi angekuwa ametumwa na Ngina maziwa na mayai kwa duka aletee Kanze Dena apikie Uhuru chai.
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Sai ndio tulikuwa tunakaribia kumalizia 200 SMS, una text kwa buttons zimefutika za Nokia 1110 mtu anaweza dhani ulifanya Degree in secretarial... "Lala tam, na uniote. Gud nyt, luv u 2" 😩
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Kitu unafaa kukula ikiwa maji ni watermelon pekee yake. THREAD.
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Nimeweka facial recognition ku unlock simu, nimejaribu na sura ya mbuzi na simu ika unlock. Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
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Akothee ndio the most natural celeb huko IG, huyo mama anaweza amua hata ku post video akiwa jikoni amejipaka mbiro akipika githeri... Wengine lazima wa book appointment na make up artist ndio wapige picha in their own kitchens 😩
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20 looks good on you but ukibaki in your Birthday suit ni sisi ndio tuta mbao 😍😍😍👌
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Jana nilikuwa naenda ku type "mutura o'clock 👌" nikapata nimebaki na handle pekee yake 😭😭😭
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Chances za Rihanna ku reply kwa tweets zangu ziko high kushinda za Ivy Wamahiga ku reply kwa tweets za Osama 😂😂😂
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Woke up still handsome, broke and single but with a big dick 😩
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Kitu sielewi ni this is 2015 and here she looks like an adult living her best life. After her death 2 days ago it has been reported she is a 24 year old, that means in 2015 she was 15 years old. Nah mahn 🤔
BROKE NIGGAS BE QUITE! Meet Wahu Starlet, Pastor Kanyaris Daughter Who is Living Large!.
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Hakuna mtu hukuwa mjinga kama yule ame fall in love, ndio maana walisema penda na akili uwachie roho kazi yake ya kuskuma damu... Umewai penda mtu anajipenda? 😩 THREAD
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Watu wa choir huvaa uniform ndio wafanane kama shilingi-choir-pili 😩
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As a man, this kind of dressing is very okay as long as it isn't your girl in that dress
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Reflection ni Simple Boy 👌
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Self quarantine sounds easy until that "Uko?" text hits you 👀
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Forget the song, I read your name and I have to ask, nani huku-Lalia? 😍😍😍👌
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