Count Binface
@CountBinface
Followers
194,480
Following
1,007
Media
1,739
Statuses
8,930
Space politician. Sane. Down with fascism, up with Ceefax. Come see me on tour this Sept/Oct around the UK!
The Cosmos
Joined December 2018
Don't wanna be here?
Send us removal request.
Explore trending content on Musk Viewer
Covid
• 578239 Tweets
Emmy
• 187590 Tweets
梅雨明け
• 125642 Tweets
Schiff
• 122950 Tweets
The Bear
• 117615 Tweets
Peter Navarro
• 78559 Tweets
Schumer
• 46544 Tweets
Botafogo
• 38986 Tweets
#岸優太
• 35268 Tweets
Garro
• 32409 Tweets
ヌヴィレット
• 28820 Tweets
マイクロビキニ
• 27959 Tweets
Abel
• 22520 Tweets
高速回転
• 21125 Tweets
RINOs
• 20899 Tweets
#Number_iとめっちゃハワイやん
• 19503 Tweets
Paiva
• 10411 Tweets
Villarruel
• 10228 Tweets
In a field of 17 candidates, I came 8th. And for the second time in three years, I beat UKIP and Piers Corbyn in a democratic election. If that’s not a sign of hope, nothing is.
678
6K
69K
Here is my full manifesto for London. Can any other candidate beat this? No chance!
#VoteBinface
#MakeYourVoteCount
1K
8K
49K
I’ve got him rattled.
🚨 NEW: Rishi Sunak has cancelled all media interviews today
1K
853
7K
210
2K
49K
If Matt Hancock would rather go on I'm A Celebrity than serve his constituents while being paid lots of money to be an MP, he should face an immediate by-election. Against me. RT if you agree.
524
18K
42K
My highest ever finish. 6th
My highest ever parliamentary vote. 308
My highest height advantage. 2ft 6in
#BindependenceDay
has come.
313
3K
41K
ELECTION CAMPAIGN BUDGET:
Laurence Fox: £5million
Count Binface: Zero
LATEST POLLING:
Laurence Fox: 1%
Count Binface: 1%
#MakeYourVoteCount
368
5K
39K
Natalie Elphicke tried defecting to me first but I said no. I’m taking the trash out, not in.
#PMQs
513
8K
38K
HOW TO DEFEAT BORIS: all other parties should stand down in Uxbridge & South Ruislip at the next election, and let me take him down. That way he won't just lose, he'll lose in the way he deserves.
#BinBoris
259
4K
34K
The Conservative Party: putting the N into cuts since 1834.
86
5K
31K
Liz Truss votes for PM: 81,316
Count Binface votes for mayor: 92,896
80
4K
29K
Dear BBC, a gentle reminder that this is written on the side of your fucking headquarters. If I were you, I’d be sacking the chairman who withheld the truth, NOT the presenter who told it.
145
7K
29K
Rishi Sunak, you shirked D-Day, but you won’t be able to avoid B-Day. Time to take out the trash. It’s on.
469
4K
28K
Who is Adolf Hitler? The downfall of a promising painter.
Who is Ghislaine Maxwell? The downfall of a favourite daughter
3K
256
883
113
2K
23K
Boris Johnson on Kier Starmer: “He’s a lawyer, not a leader.”
What he means is Mr Starmer is a criminal barrister, not a criminal.
#PMQs
137
3K
23K
A reminder.
Liz Truss votes for PM: 81,316
Count Binface votes for mayor: 92,896
I have a bigger political mandate than her.
And I’m not hiding.
#BinTruss
#BringInBinface
84
3K
22K
Dear Boris Johnson,
It seems your bold move of barring 3 Russians from being able to open a new ISA wasn’t quite the diplomatic masterstroke you claimed it was.
Yours sincerely,
Everyone
94
3K
21K
Removing page numbers from Boris Johnson’s CBI speech.
144
2K
21K
Johnson: I caused Brexit.
Starmer: I'd improve Brexit.
Binface: I'd stop it. It's a shitshow.
181
2K
20K
Conservatives want you to forget it, but they actually made Liz Truss Prime Minister.
Labour wants you to forget it, but Sir Keir Starmer spent years trying to make Jeremy Corbyn Prime Minister.
Corbyn's worldview:
❌ NATO
❌ Nuclear deterrent
✅ Hamas & Hezbollah
You can't trust Labour with our national security.
3K
248
1K
65
2K
19K
Somewhere in Whitehall right now there is a civil servant with the power to leak Sue Gray’s report, bypassing police corruption and letting the multiverse see what the scumbags got up to. Their finger will be hovering over their mouse wondering whether to click ‘send’. LEAK IT.
180
3K
18K
Nick Fletcher MP has a majority of only 3630. I call upon all opposition parties to ensure that at the next election he’s replaced by a woman.
Conservative MP Nick Fletcher says Doctor Who being played by a woman has pushed young men into crime.
7K
4K
15K
338
3K
18K
I am challenging
@Nigel_Farage
to a live TV debate on the benefits of Brexit.
If he refuses, it will confirm the fact that he sent Britain up shit creek without a paddle.
I am challenging
@RishiSunak
to a live TV debate on immigration.
If he refuses, that will confirm the fact that he can’t stop the boats.
2K
2K
9K
194
3K
17K
Liz Truss attempts a Force choke, and chokes herself.
168
2K
17K
Under the Tories you can’t even see a fictional GP.
The BBC has taken the very difficult decision to bring daytime drama Doctors to an end after 23 years
Read more:
365
164
534
45
2K
17K
I beat you in the election, Piers. A bin-clad space alien from Planet Sigma IX beat you. So it’s with a democratic mandate from the people of London that I can say: kindly leave public safety notices alone, you mad twat.
343
2K
16K
Prince William fails you.
Rishi Sunak fails you.
Count Binface steps in.
Come on England!
#Lionesses
#wwcfinal
94
788
16K
If Boris Johnson doesn't resign, I demand that all other parties step down from fighting the Uxbridge & South Ruislip seat at the next general election, so he is always known as the Prime Minister who lost to Count Binface. It's time to take out the trash.
#PartyGate
#BinBoris
#
112
2K
16K
#PMQs
just isn't the same since they moved to this new format of rotating guest Prime Ministers every week.
98
2K
16K
I am inevitable.
Our latest polling shows Boris Johnson is projected to LOSE his seat at the next general election 👀
719
2K
12K
210
980
15K
150
2K
15K
He’s not just a terrible Prime Minister.
He’s a terrible man too.
574
1K
15K
HOW TO DEFEAT BORIS: all other parties should stand down in Uxbridge & South Ruislip at the next election, and let me take him down. That way he won't just lose, he'll lose in the way he deserves.
#BinBoris
165
2K
15K
I propose knocking down the Dome and replacing it with a nature reserve, giving humans and animals a place in London by the river where they can enjoy the fresh air. It will be called the O2.
100
881
15K
Here it is: my 2024 manifesto to be Mayor of London. Can any other candidate beat this? Not a chance!
#VoteBinface
#MakeYourVoteCount
#IchBinEinLondoner
725
3K
15K
Under a Binface government, anyone who doesn’t accept human-made climate change as fact will be sent back to school, from Year 1 right the way to A Levels, to see if anything goes in the second time round.
#VoteBinface
170
2K
15K
Nothing says I didn't lie to parliament like changing the rules to make it ok to lie to parliament.
34
2K
14K
Tory leadership contest latest:
Sunak - I’ll increase poverty.
Truss - I’ll kill everyone.
119
2K
14K
Nicola Sturgeon and Jacinda Ardern resigned of their own record when they'd had enough. Boris Johnson was kicked out by his own party when everyone else had had enough.
130
2K
14K
STOP INTERVIEWING LIZ TRUSS. Speaking as an intergalactic space warrior with a bin for a head and a Ceefax fixation, she’s not a serious person.
91
2K
14K
Mate, you blew a £50 billion hole in the UK’s finances in just 50 days, burning public money with criminal negligence. As a more respected politician than you, I believe I have a mandate from the British people when I say, FUCK OFF LIZ TRUSS.
191
2K
13K
RT if you’d rather swear allegiance to Count Binface than King Charles III.
315
8K
13K
Piers Corbyn, you were comprehensively beaten in the London mayor election by me, an alien with a bin for a head. So by the power vested in me by 92,896 humans, please give the planet some much-needed Christmas cheer and fuck off to the asylum where you belong. Thanks petal x
108
2K
13K
Jacob Rees-Mogg has compared Boris Johnson’s
#PartyGate
fine to the Decision Review System in cricket, which is a brilliant defence apart from one small detail. If this was cricket, Johnson would be out.
112
2K
13K
Galactic thanks! ❤️
The tabloids are obsessed with the cold handshake between Hall and Khan, but Sadiq consoling Binface was a much bigger moment.
This anonymous superhero deserves a peerage, not just for beating Britain First, but for all his charity work and the joy he brings us every election.
119
2K
15K
77
677
13K
🚨BREAKING: France agrees to solve channel crossing chaos by sending all Brits arriving in Calais to Rwanda.
67
2K
12K
Nothing conveys how far the United Kingdom has fallen more clearly than the phrase 'Business Secretary Jacob Rees-Mogg'.
124
1K
12K
2 years ago today.
The circle is now complete.
I’d win the rematch.
79
921
12K
How long does it take the Metropolitan Police to read through a bunch of questionnaires so that charges can be issued and Sue Gray can release her full report? Asking for an enemy.
138
2K
12K
Whoever you vote for, do vote if you can. Democracy is amazing and, believe it or not, not many planets have it. Politicians are your servants, and today's the day you can give them a pat on the back. From either your hand or a cow, depending on whether they're any good. Enjoy!
106
2K
12K
STOP PRESS! I promise that as MP for Uxbridge & South Ruislip I WILL move the hand dryer in the gents’ urinals at the Crown & Treaty to a more sensible position. TO PROVE IT, I have just signed a treaty with the Crown & Treaty, that if I win they will move it. I keep my promises!
301
2K
12K
Did your or your kids' school have a mock London mayoral election? So far I've been told at least three schools did and I won them all. Watch out,
@sadiqkhan
. I'm playing the long game.
#BinDayIsComing
74
807
12K
The Health Secretary must be kicking himself that he’s committed adultery while working for a boss who places such a high importance on family values.
72
1K
12K
I will fight them in the boulangeries. I will fight them in the boutique artisan bakeries. I will fight them in the Starbucks. I will fight them in the Wild Bean Cafes. I will never surrender.
111
779
12K
Iceberg offers to fix Titanic.
BREAKING : David Cameron planning political comeback to fix “Broken Britain”
921
102
290
33
888
12K
IT’S HAPPENING.
5
7
170
78
479
12K
Every Russian oligarch with links to Putin should have their wealth and privileges immediately frozen. Abramovich should lose Chelsea. Lebedev should lose his peerage. I call this policy the Decuntification of Britain.
114
1K
11K
Dear energy companies,
What would you do if the British people launched a co-ordinated move to refer all their exorbitant fuel bills to the Energy Ombudsman? Because the internet would enable this and I have a sneaky feeling you might be fucked. Asking for 67 million friends. CBx
95
2K
11K
NEW: I'm told that Boris Johnson has over 100 children.
166
1K
11K
Rishi Sunak: ‘I have never taken drugs and I will be incredibly tough on anyone who does.’
👀
344
2K
11K
🤫 He means you,
@BorisJohnson
Archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby: “Those who serve will be loved and remembered longer than those who cling to power and privilege are long forgotten”.
1K
6K
38K
131
1K
11K