Upile Chisala
@BeingUpile
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“I am deliberate and afraid of nothing” ~ Audre Lorde
California
Joined September 2011
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Pinned Tweet
My sisters and I have just started a little Etsy shop filled with things we’ve collected and designed over the years.
Check us out on Instagram:
Visit the store :
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A little girl grabbed my hand and stopped me on my walk today. She said “Help me! A man has been following me and I’m trying to get home”. I walked her home and I’ve felt a deep fear since.
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She was 12 and a grown man was yelling profanities at her because she was ignoring his catcalling. He was literally running after her.
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This poor baby was terrified. I was terrified and angry for her.
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I really thought I’d die from the grief but then another day came and then another and another still.
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Every single time I bend my own rules it comes back to slap me in the face. I must learn to listen to and respect myself.
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Lately I’ve grown really fond of starting over. This is my life to do with as I please.
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I’ve really bowed out from some friendships I thought I’d keep forever.
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I grieved that love like it were a dead thing. I grieved it drunk and regretful. I grieved it angry and tired. I grieved it out of myself.
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People are free to unlove you and leave you. Such is life.
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Results are out. Your girl passed! A whole double Oxford graduate!
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I graduate today (in absentia) with an MSc in Medical Anthropology from the University of Oxford. It’s lit.
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Having a shit parent will mess you up for an entire lifetime. Fam,please be good parents.
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All the ways I could ruin it.
- What scares you the most about being loved rightly?
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I’ve been asking this very question. Every night it’s bothering your exes or your mother in law. Stop dancing on people’s noses at night and go do something about the price of bread!!!
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Any kind of relationship is work. People are work. You are work.
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Daughter, I hope you never have to crawl on your good bones to beg bad love to stay.
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You’ve got to be soft and patient with yourself. You’re absolutely precious and deserving.
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I don’t want to go through anything. I don’t need to build my character any further, thank you.
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I love little intimacies. Hand on knee. Cleaning off something from your person’s face. That hot love in the eye.
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Feeling the entire weight of your partner’s body on top of you is some calming stuff. Top tier nonsexual stuff.
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After this thing, please eat your lives. Stop getting in your own way.
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If I’m ever a parent, please let me be the kind who apologizes.
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I’m tired of learning life lessons. Can the rest of my life just be good vibes?
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It's been three years since I graduated from Oxford (for the first time). I have gone on to publish three poetry collections, live in South Africa, marry a fella I like and parent two dogs. I'm doing okay.
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Currently tweeting from the Gonest of Girls’ headquarters. My husband of two days just said “Let’s get married again”.
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My mama is coming to the U.K. for the first time. And she'll see me graduate from Oxford on Monday. (I'm crying as I tweet this).
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Returning to yourself is the most brilliant thing. Wishing you a safe journey to self.
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Romantic love is yummy but sisterhood is the yummiest of loves.
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I am beginning to see all the joy waiting for me on the other end of heartbreak. I lost what I felt was a great big love and a great big friendship. Sadly, the memory of much of it has been tainted by unkindness. Oh the healing is hard but I’m so loved and so grateful.
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Oh but love is so tender and kind and warm and still so possible.
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When someone notices the little things about me. It makes me feel like I’m being studied and like I am worth learning.
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Your girl has two books out. Please RT for awareness, a reader could be on your TL.
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Smallness isn’t your portion, my darling. We’ve been told to take up space so let’s. 😊
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And everyday I am convinced more and more that friendship is the loveliest of loves.
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I have so much more grace for friends and friendships. Men get half a strike with me but friends get a good amount of chances.
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Lmao I’m the Aunty with the piercings and tattoos and a job that’s not really a job-job. Congratulations to me.
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Completely honored! Your Malawian storyteller girl is part of Forbes Africa’s
#30Under30
class.
#Under30MeetUp
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I got a three book publishing deal folks! It’s been a few surreal months. I am so grateful for every single person that’s supported me thus far. We made it!
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‘I am dripping melanin and honey. I am black without apology” - Upile Chisala
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Stop with the silly “Hi” messages. What is it you want?
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Teach us something other than how to endure. Teach us in the name of Nina Simone to "Leave the table when love is no longer being served".
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New decade just dropped! I plan to frolic, shenan and shenanigan.
#ThirtyPossiblyFlirtyandThankfullyThriving
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One day this will be a lesson
Today, however, it is just a hurt
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Also, you put these words in a music video and never even quoted me. The irony of it all is you said black women should support each other. How hard is giving credit where it’s due?
I'm dripping melanin with honey. I'm black without apology. 💙💙💙
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Dear members of the “Hi...” community, look at your friends getting to the point.
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Please have the audacity to love yourself a little harder.
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You have to do the work, my darling. You have to do the work and then some.
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Writing my vows is the hardest bit. When it comes to this man, this love, this story, I’m speechless.
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My mum came to my readings this weekend and I couldn’t stop smiling. 😊
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Don’t ever come to me as a woman or a chicken or a rat. Don’t come to me as an anything.
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A sis is going to have two degrees from Oxford by September. Wow and wow. I did that.
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I hope you forgive the parts of you that are still doubtful when a good thing finds you.They are healing.
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I’ve never treated this thing lightly. Losing any friendship has always hurt to some degree. I have tried my best but my heart just won’t let me stay where I’m no longer valued.
I’ve really bowed out from some friendships I thought I’d keep forever.
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To die in a post office. To die in a fucking post office.
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“There is a romance brewing here between joy and I. I deserve her and she deserves me.” from Soft Magic by Upile Chisala (available on Amazon).
Dress by
@ZaziLuxury
📸
@SheenaTembo
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More African art of African women just relaxing. Not everyday a baby on her back and a pail on her head.
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I deserve all the goodness that finds me. Also, I owe myself and that goodness my effort and my energy.
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I did a thing yesterday. (One day I’ll take better pictures lol)
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But things die in us all the time. We live and grieve and breathe new life into new things and to new versions of ourselves.
Something that was deeply important in me died with my marriage.
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I’m really serious when I tell folks to not do weddings. I mean it. I regret the money we put into our wedding. Go to the courthouse. Have a braai or a picnic or something.
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Go back home. Go back to the people who make you feel like home. Go rest and heal your heart. I highly recommend it.
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Stop encouraging people to suffer. Suffering is not cute, beloveds.
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Love’s a funny thing. You have to keep risking and hoping and hoping and risking.
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It feels so good to be able to treat yourself. I feel so powerful when I spend my money on me.
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Eventually I’ll stop tweeting about my broken heart but damn that shit brought me to my knees.
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I use all the cheats in the Sims because why must I be broke in a virtual world too???
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Setting boundaries may have lost me relationships but it’s definitely protected my peace.
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*me following my husband from room to room telling him everything I’ve just learned about penguins*
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