Custodes
@AdeptusBananas
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The Adeptus Custodes public vox account. || We're God's Banana Janitors with depression and oil! || Do NOT mention the clowns.
Imperial Palace, Terra
Joined December 2022
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Pinned Tweet
POV: Custodes studying Luna Wolves, Sons of Horus, Abaddon, Chaos and Horus lore just to hate on the Archtraitor more accurately:
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How the Vengeful Spirit actually went down:
I can confirm, I was the Custodes watching.
(I was not. Caecaltus Dusk was, and he's dead.)
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Does anyone, by chance, like big scarred muscular women in gold? Asking for a Sister friend.
Female Custodes have been shown off in a official warhammer animation. I don't really have anything to say about it mainly because it isn't Death Guard, Necrons or Tyranids. However, my ''hot take'' is that I do think that Custodes need to look abit more battle damaged
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CODE RED, CODE RED, CALL ALL AVAILABLE CUSTODES TO THE THRONE ROOM!
@AdeptusBananas
The dragons have breached the throne room...
THEY ARE ON THE EMPERORS THRONE!!
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Please do go and watch Custodes and Sisters of Silence.
- This message is condoned by the Custodes and Sisters of Silence(who agreed via interpretive dance)
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THIS IS NOT FUCKING CANON!
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The Custodes refuse to confirm nor deny this existence.
(By high-onion)
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The Sisters of Silence need more love.
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Me and the boys, cracking technobarbarian skulls.
Ah, the good old days...
(Thunder Warriors and Custodes during the Unification by o8o8das)
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Today, at the Imperial Palace, we mourn a tragedy in three parts.
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@Mick19988
There have always been female Custodians. Always was, always will.... The Dread Host will pay a hint visit to those who fail to "remember" them.
- Sincerely,
The Custodes
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The Thunder Warriors all died in valiant combat atop Mt. Ararat. We even personally threw them a surprise-retirement party!
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BAD! BAD SCP! GET BACK TO CONTAINMENT, IT AIN'T LUNCH BREAK YET!
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A polite reminder to all surviving Thunder Warriors,
Cry about it.
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The Custodes just got arrested(again). Our last character in the gallery is our lawyer.
——-
"SKARBRAND HATES LAWYERS. SKARBRAND HATES JUDGES. SKARBRAND WILL NOW CHALLENGE THE COURT TO A TRIAL BY COMBAT."
@RIPANDBFTBG
You JUST got ARRESTED!
Your last character in your gallery is your lawyer.
——-
oh.
oh we’re both going to jail.
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In case any of you were wondering, this is what we do on breaktime:
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How it actually went down on the Vengeful Spirit:
(By ilisteria on tumblr)
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Truly, a hero....
[distant, muffled Custodes sobbing can be heard] We tried to protect Him, we really tried....
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To adhere to canon, I firmly request being allowed to declare battles as victory even before arrival, to ensure canonical accuracy for the Custodes, of course.
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If this gets 100 likes the voxcaster Custodes will change the pfp to the Tzeentchian Custodes.
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It's been a good run, bananas.
I will now leave to go lock myself in the Palace and cry for another 10,000 years.
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For some strange reason, all Custodians are banned from Starbucks for the next 10,000 years...
I'm starting to think that giving the baristas a Custodian's whole name was a bad idea if you want the order finished before noon.
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Remember, banana boys are immune to heresy.
Thus, I can post whatever I want!
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I love the way our glorious Captain-General is drawn here, complete with names. (Although he isn't bald...normally.)
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There have always been female Custodians. 💙
Praised be the Changer of Way- err...I meant, praised be the Emperor!
- tomboy Voxcaster Custodes out
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IT BEGINS.
PRAISE TO THE EMPEROR- er.....Space King!
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@pball92
As a girl, my problem isn't with the change, it's with how it was handled. There was no lead-up, no build-up, just a flat-out handwave and a retcon. It feels...underwhelming.
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@Mick19988
I can confirm that the Emperor gives the best advice.
Source: There's a reason why Custodians are no longer capable of feeling depression, y'know...
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This is so funny out of context.
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BEHOLD!
OUR GLORIOUS OVERLORD!
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What do you mean Ork Custodes? In matters of Ork Custodes there have always been Ork Custodes, since the first of the Custodes!
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PRAISED BE OUR GLORIOUS OVERLORD, THE EMPEROR!
Wait...
[checks notes]
PRAISED BE OUR GLORIOUS OVERLORD, THE SPACE KING!
Teaser for our original series - Space King 👑
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Surprise me.
What could possibly bring fear to a Custodian?
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Should I change my banner to this, yay or nay?
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@RetroDubsVA
Why in the name of the frick frack snick snack tic tac crick crack smack would I do that when I can mildly annoy people with my deliberately non-swears? >:)
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oh
oh no-
chaos bananas!
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Whomever sent me this deserves to perish.
With regards,
A very traumatized Custodes
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"DON'T GIVE THEM ANY IDEAS!" - Captain-General kitten, probably.
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Guardsman meeting Aquillan Shields for the first time, M?? colorized:
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Judging by the replies on this post, call me mommy ONE MORE TIME, and I will crush your hips to powder.
- With regards,
The Custodes
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The Custodes and the Emperor and the Primarchs.
She died so hard that Horus was jealous.
Your Last Saved Pic Has To Fight Aqua, Do You Win?
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The Custodes are screaming.
I personally am screaming.
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I wish i had enough followers to be able to tweet “Valdor” and have like 40 people reply with “Real”.
i wish i had enough followers to be able to tweet “Bazzet” and have like 40 people reply with “Real”
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“How’s Jasaric? ….to shreds, you say? How’s Kadai? ….to shreds, you say?”
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All my years of scouring the internet, I have genuinely never seen anyone hate Ushotan as a character.
It's time to change that.
(A thread on Ushotan, Birth of the Imperium:)
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I do not like these Thunder Warriors, their smug aura mocks me....
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@_Jyggalag_
In Warhammer Fantasy I'm a Skaven fan, saving the world is exactly why I hate them.
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Listen, we Custodes may hate the Thunder Warriors, but at least they never outright betrayed the Emperor like SOMEONE....
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All Sisters of Silence are endorsed by the Custodes.
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@DYorgy
All of y'all are wrong.
The stars belong to me alone, all of you lot get out!
- this post was written by a Necron
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Of course. How else?
"Hello, Custodes? Is your Golden Throne running right now?"
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ATTENTION, CALLING ALL AQUILLAN SHIELDS.
WE HAVE AN EMERGENCY DEPLOYMENT-
A guy named James Poxon made a Warhammer 40K diorama and posted it on FB.
I saw it…and now I wanna cry…now you must cry too…😭
#warhammer40k
#WarhammerCommunity
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I recognize the Emperor has made a decision. But, unfortunately, as He is currently incapacitated upon the Golden Throne and thus unable to make rational decisions, the Custodes have elected to ignore it.
We will be carrying on the Blood Games and guarding our Emperor, good day.
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[picks up blueberry and starts carrying him away] Sorry, Guilliman, he's mine now.
Bananas and blueberries can live in harmony 🍌🫐
sometimes...
#ultramarines
#cusodes
#warhammer40k
#WarhammerArt
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Delete dis, we kan't have em ummies figur'n out ma secret identity! Kall da boss, we boyz been discovered!
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This deserves a standing ovation from the Custodes. Theatre at its finest!
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The bananas are hijacking this now.
The Sisters of Silence are gorgeous, muscled golden silent ladies in vratine who will sucker-punch psykers through a wall, what more could you want?
Post Sisters of Silence, minis, lore, memes, etc, whatever! Let me see them!
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Can't beat the auramite out of you without getting closer.
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