tuegaloo
@tuechainz
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#frostburgalum #flyeaglesfly #gobirds
Lexington Park, MD
Joined January 2011
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After a discussion I had last night, I have a question:
What’s a Gospel song you could do a drive-by to? 😭
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Ay moe. So why I'm at the bar with my mans right? We hear a loud bang...I look up and a fuckin car came through the wall
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walked in auto zone. made eye contact wit this nigga, gave em the head nod…nigga looked me dead in my face & said you look like major Payne
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pretty cool? this shit tite af lol
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gave a compliment to a girl I used to talk to on her IG story. we didn't work out cuz of me. she hit me wit the "thanks bro." ...cut me to the white meat
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manager be tryna catch me on my phone…too bad I can hear them JEANS rustlin’ as he come down the hall
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#RelationshipWeight
is real but it don't come from consistent pipe. It just come from eating & laying up. & becoming comfortable with both
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My family on Christmas: don't come in here on that bullshit.
Me:
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So I be washing cars...hit me. Business cards coming soon.
St. Mary’s County
Calvert County
Charles & PG y’all can holla at me too
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homegirl in high school said I look like Littlefoot from Land Before Time 😭
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y’all. look what my officemate got me for Christmas 🥹…Lord I repent for all my tweets against her
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St. Mary's so small. every time you meet someone..."who ya momma?" Lmao
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bitches been around for years in JC Penney
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ppl be holdin other ppl to unrealistic expectations. Let ppl live. Nobody perfect. Nobody gon come through for you every time. Ppl fail. Ppl fuck up. y’all want grace when you fuck up but can’t extend that same grace to others. shit backwards. who are you????
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my niece got a love note in school today. I’ll knock all this shit over
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My mom told me Rihanna would be lucky to have me, & that’s the kinda support I’m talking about.
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broke the broom tryna use it as a bridge from one couch to another 😅
What’s the funniest reason you got your asswhooped as a kid ?
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Saw this a while ago & it had me dead cuz the caption said "Beyoncé know damn well Michelle can't see" 😂😂😂
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when migos dropped bad & boujee, & then dropped T-Shirt, AND THEN dropped CALL CASTING?!?!?!? I was losing my mind.
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nigga at auto zone just had a whole convo wit me like we knew each other & I have NO IDEA who this nigga was. he even said imma hit ya phone later 😭 who was that nigga???
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if you borrow bread from someone & tell em you’ll pay em back on a specific date…they should, at least, be hearin from you on that date. whether you got it or not.
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Fat Trel
First name you think of when you see this logo? 🧐🤔
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Can y’all quote this with a drunk video/pic of yourself 😂
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😨 M-m-m-ma-m-m-ma-m-ma...
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they started off rough but they got better 😂👌🏾
y’all. look what my officemate got me for Christmas 🥹…Lord I repent for all my tweets against her
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asked my coworker to use his pen real quick...he said naa, its gonna be all greasy when you give it back...
HR?
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we got this family picture from like ‘04 & everybody laughs when they see it cuz my dads shirt says “property of Jesus” while mine says “G-Unit” 😭
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them houses with the confederate flags always got a bunch of junk in the yard lmao
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“You ain’t on probabtion…you IS probation” 😂😂😂
Undercover Police Officer Walking Through Oak Park, Sacramento “Trying To Score” Drugs 🃏
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put my order in at St. James. look how they spelled my name…never gets old 😂
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I just heard my redneck coworker say "we're busier than a one-legged man in an ass kicking contest."
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🗣 TOOT THAT THANG UP MAMI MAKE IT ROLL
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cussin my supervisor out quietly to myself. slipped up & called em a bald head bitch only to realize...🙃
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Women...just because your feelings are valid doesn’t mean the way you address them is
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plot twist: she hit me with the “this wasn’t that to begin with” 🙃🙄
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na he really steppin tho
Niggas: Can't wait til Fall so I can really start dressing.
Niggas:
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Reading the room is really a valuable skill that a lot of ppl do not possess
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Just wanna say I’m overwhelmed by the amount of support I’ve received for this endeavor & I sincerely appreciate all of you 🥺 I don’t take it lightly.
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got into an accident on the beltway last night. scariest shit ever but thank God we straight.
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Autozone and Advanced Auto Parts on Great Mills Rd 😂
Walgreens and CVS when they put their stores right across from eachother
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33 years in 🤞🏾 two of my favorite ppl
If you have parents who are still in love to this day quote this I'm tryna see something 🤔.
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Giving everybody hugs at church, then my sister whispers to me..."your beard smell like weed." 😩😂
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@GotBeans_
Thank God!! I’ve been searched like 3 times, knowing I had nothing on me. But the smell was enough for them to search anyway.
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My coworker mad cuz he ordered a McChicken & they put a single nugget on 2 pieces of bread 😭
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Went to lunch with my coworkers & like a dumbass, I offered to drive. One gets in & was like “it smells pretty dank In here.”
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Everybody like brown sugar cinnamon pop tarts and idk why. They’ll choke you faster than a Popeyes biscuit will
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Drive-thru workers don’t give you no time to put your change away before they waving the bag in your face lol
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S/o to
@Chasin_Mula
on the 25th anniversary Griffey jersey. Holla at em for some exclusive pieces. Everything legit.
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Outside washing a car & 2 kids ride by on a bike...one yells “TURBO BOOST ACTIVATED” ....I remember when I used to activate my turbo boost 🥺
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Maryland ends four-year degree requirement for thousands of state jobs
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I WILL DISAPPEAR! plus drunk niggas make this process longer than it has to be
I have absolutely NO PROBLEM leaving the function without saying my goodbyes. That shit takes TOO long, and I'm tryna dip 😂
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my dad always talks about how good my mom was at pac man when they were younger…look what he got her for Valentine’s Day lol
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& you should expect to pay bout $300 for this.
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Didn’t feel much like thanksgiving this year...but I’m on the couch, full, & watching football while my dad dozes off next to me...guess it was thanksgiving after all
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Pops birthday today. Grabbed em a Georgetown Allen Iverson jersey 🔥 should’ve gotten one for myself
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i just wanna hear it from y’all but for my PG folks…what city is six flags in???
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grad pics came in & mom is pissed cuz I was so fried i forgot to take my mask off 😭
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Called myself tryna be nice & offered to buy my mom lunch today...she gon say “boy you broke, keep ya lil money.” 😂😂😂 Thats love 😂
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