Ma Fo Asake
@tmtisclutch
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SEVENTEEN
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無料クーポン
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DG X ORM KORNNAPHAT
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連休明け
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carat
• 81994 Tweets
अब्दुल कलाम
• 65344 Tweets
पूर्व राष्ट्रपति
• 45413 Tweets
アトラス彗星
• 43222 Tweets
FELIP TAKES ON BBPHSTAGE
• 30627 Tweets
JC BBPH MAINSTAGE
• 29822 Tweets
オーストラリア
• 28106 Tweets
ITZY WORLD IS STILL DIFFERENT
• 21415 Tweets
ミンギュ
• 18962 Tweets
金木犀の香り
• 17689 Tweets
#RokKłamstw
• 17651 Tweets
Mehmet Şimşek
• 17477 Tweets
JimmySea with PizzaMaru
• 17365 Tweets
うさぎだらけくじ
• 14635 Tweets
ジョシュア
• 13121 Tweets
スングァン
• 12713 Tweets
エスクプス
• 11914 Tweets
ドギョム
• 11464 Tweets
タワレコ
• 10280 Tweets
Wow. The last one explains all the previous ones
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My family's having a party and mum just complained that she's been trying to play a song and youtube isn't working. I look at the tv and she's searching for the song on Netflix. This woman is a surgeon.
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Archie lighter than the sun but I know Philip only sees Bernie Mac when he looks at him
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Can't wait to grab someone's brat on the plane like "shhhhh don't worry I saw this on twitter"
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Jada is toxic with good communication skills. God forbid.
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you know those days where you get out of bed and it's straight productivity....
PJ BANDIT: Woman wearing pajamas robs 6 banks in 90 minutes, police say:
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Snake: *slithers ominously towards me*
Me: hey snake.
Snake: ??
Me: do you mind if I check your pupils and the skales underneath your tail to see if you’re poisonous?
Snake: *breaks down crying* no one has ever asked me that
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When AI completely takes over civilisation and a rebellion is formed to destroy it, this is the guy they will find living in a remote cabin in the woods.
He'll have a big beard and will smell like smoked sausages and his first line will be
"I knew this day would come"
Geoffrey Hinton, ‘The Godfather of A.I.’ has quit Google after over a decade, expressing regret over his life’s work, and warning of dangers ahead.
“I console myself with the normal excuse: If I hadn’t done it, somebody else would have.”
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My own is what if Chris dodged the first slap? Then Will has to chase him on the stage
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Nigerians love juice ehn? Lmaoooo
Yesterday i was craving peppered turkey, so instead of going to Blackbell to buy a single turkey for 7,000+ i bought a kilo for 6,500 and made this.
APC government brings the cook in you
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Black Chyna isn't even chynese
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My inner demons and anxiety when I know peace for more than 30 seconds:
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How can Bridget Bema say “I’m a good girl, I love God. Sometimes mistakes follow me”????? How can she capture the idea of whole generation in just three sentences
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To have a constructive conversation about climate change
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As a man I don’t sleep. I just work 24hrs so I can buy drinks for every woman at every bar till I die. I haven’t seen my kids in 3 years
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You know how babes live with the fear that their man might start rapping any day? My fear is that my babe becomes hyper religious one day
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In the future he won’t be able to ride okada without falling asleep
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Nigerians that hated the court for giving the country to a drug dealer suddenly love the court for sending someone to jail for 6 months for spraying money.
Continue. You people will soon learn that until everyone is free, nobody is free.
BREAKING: Court Sentences Bobrisky To Six Months Imprisonment Without Option Of Fine
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I keep looking at this post and fuming because if I send my dad a selfie he’ll reply me a picture of car he would have bought if I didn’t go to university.
Lmao I’m the only one in our family that replies my dad’s selfie-texts 😩
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We actually need to talk about how badly behaved Nigerians are at cinemas lmaooooooo it’s actually horrible
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Sorry but I can’t believe how much these Asake songs sound alike lmaoooo
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Them boys did what they had to do to prevent Shettima from entering their locker room again man I respect it
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I just don’t understand how one country can have so many problems
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Naira said “first time in Jamaica, hakuna ma’ganja”
I’m sorry but I’m tired of pretending he isn’t the best lyricist of this generation
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They hating but the truth is Santi can write Death and the King's Horseman but Wole cannot write Rapid Fire
You’re mad GENz don’t know who Wole Soyinka is, Lmaoo
Do you know who Santi is?
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Everytime I communicate with a Nigerian business, I feel worse than I did before I spoke to them.
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Man DJ Switch probably had a 5/10 year plan, goals to achieve, milestones to hit.....everything disrupted. Because she decided to do the right thing.
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Jon Snow looking at the nights watch after being brought back from death
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how many things do you people want us to face
Why is everyone ignoring the fact that there’s Covid going around in naij? 😫
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*Drives past Mike Adenuga centre*
Uber: you know who get this building?
Me: who?
Uber: Mike Adenuga
Me: no way…
Uber: I dey tell you
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Ahn you wanted to collect Grammy and win this match in the same weeek???
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One day I’ll write poem about how much I love being Yoruba. How can a whole culture just be about enjoyment. Enjoyment and cheating.
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Ran into my aunt (that I haven’t seen in like 12 years) while I was smoking and she asked “Temitayo is that you?” And I looked this woman dead in the eye and said “No.”
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In another life this would have been a serial killer. This is why exploring hobbies is so important. Now people are safe and dogs are the ones suffering
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I miss when people just said they didn’t like stuff
I remember the very first day I put cinnamon rolls in my mouth.
Better to eat a Lagos man’s yansh.
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People are telling Rene happy birthday and it's trending on US twitter because we're all using VPN lmaoooooo
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“MoMMiiiiiii weer iz DADdiiiii???”
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Man who ever is writing this season of Nigeria is a genius
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They’re using small gen at twitter HQ but they will change to big gen at 6pm
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The truth is everyone gets 3 to 5 great Decembers in Lagos. After that you’re stuck in nostalgia land saying “that year”
Idk what it is..maybe the influx of IJGBs 😂 but this detty deccy not dettying like it should be
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I’m not at the burna concert but it’s 2:46am and he’s not on stage so I’m going to imagine some of the conversations happening right now
Guy 1: man this is crazy
Guy 2:……
Guy 1: I heard he’s in Ghana
Guy 2:……….
Guy 1: do you have work tomorrow?
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Dad: My driver is off tomorrow and I was wondering if you could drive me.
Me: sure
Dad: you know it's sad that a man of your age doesn't have plans on a Sunday
Me: excuse me?
Dad: Anyway it's good that we're using your car so it won't attract looters
Me:
Dad: Alright, good talk
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Three, I was trying to figure out who he’s signed to. The label says “MG3 entertainment”.
Then it clicked in my head that he’s “Marvin Gaye III”. So this is a self made move.
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Seven, this tastefully placed picture of his dad. This shot would have felt lacking without it.
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Dababy really used the Nigerian song of the summer to rap offbeat about being an alpha male
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Shoutout to the writers of Madame Web for being able to still secure work in Hollywood after this incredible filmography.
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All I have to say about this hiphop goat convo is that I sat next to MI on a flight around 2011/2012 and kept rapping my bars for him throughout. He was so upset bro just wanted to rest lmaooooooo
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Progressive Yoruba mumsis in 20 years saying "Eku Pride" every June
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I hate the casual ease with which Nigerians discuss peoples looks/bodies like just shut the fuck up
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Naij is so fascinating
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Me when Dracula kidnaps my ting and is getting away:
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Eight, the fact that this guy is probably still a millionaire after the blurred lines lawsuit and maybe royalties in general. God picks his children.
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This guy decked a babe d as d only got caught because of social media. Now he’s advocating for a bill to regulate social media. What kind of super villain shit is th-
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In the van on their way to the rebel camp, he'll ask the team what he's missed since he went off the grid and a soldier will pull out his phone and show him a clip of Seyi Vibez accepting his 4th Grammy award
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They saw the fit and said JAIL
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For the record I never called Tinubu “T-pain”. I think it’s rude to the singer.
I called him a bastard.
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My boy learned to code during lockdown and is quitting his lawyer job to work on it full time and I’m so so so proud of him
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Man in my head sha it's all of us or none of us. Just academically. You can't say that no one deserves to be brutalized then say "Okay maybe some people". Remember the stories you've read this week. Remember the work that has been done. All of us or none of us
#EndSARS
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Sorry but all the African’s know michael blackson is awful.
It’s just so…..*cries a little*….it’s just really nice to know that other black people know this.
It’s important
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One day you just ask her where she's going and she replies church and you reply "but it's Tuesday" and she smirks and walks out of the house
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Everyone talking about corruption but no one talking about how we just elected our ugliest president
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Breaking generational curses >>
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To everyone asking, “why did you do this?”. Ummmm I didn’t do this.
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Not the guys who shot at civilians.....got it.
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Ladies protesting, please I know it’s mot easy after being assaulted but if you can let anyone around know when it happens we will happily (and PEACEFULLY) beat the living daylights out of them and escort them out of there.
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See ehn I don’t want to ever see anything about how Wike is funny or interesting again. That man is a vile monster
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I remember when my uncle died of old age (97) and
#SeyiTinubu
came to his deathbed and used his 2005 Toyota Corolla car battery to restart his heart. That was 7 years ago. My uncle is still alive till today.
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To which the bear replied in the voice of Jeremy Irons
“oh Brandon. You have no idea how hard it is...to be a slave to one’s impulses. For instance I know it wasn’t a natural impulse for you to hike this trail. Yet here we both are. Slaves to nature. Goodbye, old friend.”
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When the country eventually falls apart, I want this video as the only evidence that Nigerians existed
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As much as I try to pay attention to current events, I feel like if I were to find out about Nigeria’s true economic situation, I would descend into madness. Very quickly.
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First month of uni I didn't have a tv and my dad bought me one out of anger he said if my friends and I don't watch TV we'd end up doing drugs
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I don't think people fully gauge what is happening. This week was the first time in my entire life that I went to bed and woke up in a country that was better than it was the day before. We did that.
#EndSWAT
#EndPoliceBrutalityinNigeria
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I’ve never seen a world leader care as little about their citizens as Buhari. Like even as an extension of his own ego. Zero. Nothing. He just has nothing to give. It’s incredible.
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please
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