Tom
@Lawmadillo
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Law student. Don't take my legal advice. He/Him.
Sobbing in a law library
Joined April 2018
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Breaking my usual rule against commenting on accounts run by obvious grifters and the mentally slowest among us
I really wish someone had told me Trump had 0 wars during his term, I would have liked not being in Afghanistan at the time.
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People have stop trying to go after the menswear guy
There is no escalation of force. He will go from zero to thermonuclear detonation in a heartbeat. There will be no survivors.
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One of my favorite genres of post is “Yokel Discovers the US Military Still Uses Rail Transport”
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Everyone wake up, bad things are happening to a terrible person’s twitter account right now
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I’m sorry Captain, but I have been reliably informed by the dumbest people on this website that the Houthis actually blew up your ship yesterday
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One of the most significant intel leaks in recent history was by a shitposting Air National Guard E-3 trying to impress his Minecraft friends
We are living in the dumbest of all possible timelines
We've identified the leader of the Discord group where top secret U.S. documents were leaked — it's a 21-year-old member of the Massachusetts Air National Guard, specifically its intelligence wing. Gift link, no paywall:
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A recruiter still tried to get me to enlist after I told him I was going to West Point
"You should get enlisted experience THEN go to West Point!"
You shot your shot and I respect that but fuck no bro
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Elon accidentally revealing his burner, then finding out he uses his burner to respond to himself, is a wonderful way to cap off one of the funniest days in recent memory
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We may be witnessing the funniest VP campaign in American history
Unearthed video: JD Vance says he wants Americans to pay more for groceries, clothes, and other basic necessities in order to combat “woke”: “We're gonna have to get a little uncomfortable. We’re maybe gonna have to be willing to pay a little bit more for certain consumer goods”
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“He means Trump started zero wars!”
First off, shut the fuck up
Second, inherited wars that aren’t ended by your hand still count
Third, who the fuck tallies wars? Nobody is trying to break Qin Shi Huang’s record for most simultaneous wars
These are deranged people
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This meme came to me in a fever dream
I cannot explain any further
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Fuck em
Congratulations. You have offended 80 million descendents of brave and honorable Confederate soldiers. Many will shun the US military which hates them and their ancestors. Perhaps the 'woke' military can recruit enough transgenders, and Marxists like yourself to fill that void.
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Reminder that Soleimani getting whacked led to one of the funniest memorials ever created
Martyr Soleimani's most significant role and service was to revive the Resistance Front in the region.
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“Trump isn’t a war monger, he didn’t start any wars!”
Yeah man, neither has any president since FDR, since we haven’t declared war, as in a formal declaration requested by the President and voted on by both House and Senate, since 1941
It’s a fucking stupid semantic argument!
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Only dickheads pull the ladder up behind themselves
I am using my GI Bill benefit, earned from 10 years of service
Nobody should deal with crippling debt for the rest of their lives just for getting an education
Get over yourself Andrew, you fucking knob
This student loan lawsuit is personal for me.
I paid for my education in blood, sweat, and tears in service to my nation, as did so many others.
It’s a slap in the face to every working American to be left with the tab for someone else’s Ivy League debt.
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The Taliban had no idea that we were playing the long game all along
Kabul:— Taliban militants are fed up of "office culture" and want to quit." - Taliban officials have reportedly said.
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People with allegedly functioning brains actually believe this
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The argument over whether the Soviets or the Western Allies defeated the Nazis is absolutely ridiculous and trite
True scholars will know that the key to defeating Nazi Germany was Indiana Jones’ efforts to thwart Nazi plans to acquire the Ark of the Covenant in this essay I wi
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We must study the tankie brain, to discover the smoothest surface in the universe
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Signs you should immediately disregard someone's Afghanistan takes:
- They refer to the people as "Afghanis"
- They seriously suggest the Taliban can fly captured Blackhawks and Super Tucanos
- They say *anything* positive about the Taliban
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THE SOVIETS SPLIT POLAND WITH NAZI GERMANY UNDER THE MOLOTOV-RIBBENTROP PACT
THE RED ARMY WOULD HAVE ABSOLUTELY COLLAPSED WITHOUT WESTERN AID AND LEND-LEASE EQUIPMENT
WWII WAS A JOINT EFFORT BY ALLIED NATIONS TO DEFEAT THE AXIS
WHY WILL NOBODY READ A FUCKING BOOK
AAAAAAAAAAA
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I realize this will attract the attention of mouth-breathing neckbeards who will insist, nay, DEMAND to know if I served, where, how, and what is my credit card info?
I will save you the trouble. Here’s all you need to know about my military service:
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We owe France more than we could ever repay for the critical role their support played in helping us win independence
Helping to liberate France from the grips of the Nazis was a duty owed to one of our greatest allies
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ME: During Darth Vader's death scene, you can hear blaster shots in the background. There's no Rebels besides Luke on the Death Star, which is getting ready to explode. So the stormtroopers are killing each other for spots on the escape pods.
THERAPIST:
ME: Same time next week?
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BREAKING: Biden administration announces that the US will begin shipment of EM-50 Urban Assault Vehicles as part of the military aid package to Ukraine
Putin has threatened “severe repercussions for this unwarranted escalation of NATO aggression”
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The Marine Corps’ continued focus on tough, realistic training remains impressive
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@MarisaDoom
Nothing more insulting than someone saying they want to spend the rest of their life with you, amarite fellas?
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I cannot stress to you enough how terrible an idea it is to mess with the US’s boats
We fucked Spain after a coal bunker caused one of our boats to spontaneously combust, inconveniently in Havana Harbor
Don’t touch the boats
Iran: Look at this aircraft carrier we stealthily took video of
The US Military™: This you?
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Hello
@mtracey
please contact me, I have information on a top secret combat vehicle that the US military plans to use in Ukraine this is URGENT
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Sandy Hook families ask bankruptcy judge to liquidate Alex Jones’ media company.
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The Doritos Locos Taco has existed longer than the racist failstate that these fucking losers died failing to defend
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HOLY SHIT THEY MUST HAVE KEPT HIM IN COLD STORAGE UNTIL TONIGHT
THIS IS A FULLY-OPERATIONAL DARK BRANDON
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CHOWDAH: look at my functioning ship, I love my job :)
“OSINT” ACCOUNT WITH 50K FOLLOWERS: OH YEAH? Who are you going to believe, your own eyes, or this Houthi propaganda message I put through Google Translate?!?
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@MatthewStadlen
"Not that I'm actually going to join the army, mind you. Just *felt like* joining. Which is just as heroic, if you ask me. Anyways, so, there's there's things called WODs in Crossfit, and-"
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The Republic of Korea has won 9 straight gold medals in Women's Team archery.
Since the event was introduced in 1988, the Korean women have not lost a single match in Women's Team archery.
That is absolutely bonkers
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The truly infuriating thing about the culture war surrounding history is this idea that, by teaching the truth of the dark parts of our National history, we are somehow engaging in anti-American activity. When the reality is, our growth as a nation is fundamentally American
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Ohio State is defeated, our nightmare is over, we can finally execute Plan Nohio:
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When will you people learn not to cross swords with Menswear Guy?
He was forged in the deepest, darkest fires. He was there when the deep magic was written.
He’ll murder a man then write a 10-tweet thread on boat shoes without losing a drop of sweat
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Minnesota spending the last 161 years repeatedly telling Virginia to fuck off remains the absolute best
Down with the traitor, up with the Star
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The Doritos Locos taco has existed longer that the Confederate insurrection, you absolute fucking dweebs
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I’m losing my goddamn mind, this guy is going to spend eternity turning small rocks into even smaller rocks in a federal penitentiary because he leaked damaging intelligence documents about an ongoing war for the fucking lolz
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Today marks the 158th Anniversary of the United States Army’s victory at Gettysburg against Southern insurrectionist forces. It also marks the anniversary of the death of Alonzo Cushing, a West Pointer, Artillery officer, and hero. I’d like to share his story.
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Shocked, SHOCKED to find out the Butter Goblin thinks that the killing of 2,403 American soldiers, sailors, Marines, and civilians, plus the sinking of four battleships, was just “one attack on a remote outpost”
I guess the Philippines and Wake Island were other minor incidents
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This country would have been so much better if the Wampanoag had just let the Pilgrims starve to death
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VetBros attacking Walz on behalf of a draft dodger who called Americans who died in wars “suckers and losers”:
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If you have never served in the military, and you have no idea how retirement and deployment orders work, rather than jump to conclusions about Tim Walz, consider doing this instead:
Shut the fuck up
To serve 24 years and then finally get the call to do something really trying -to retroactively earn all those paychecks, as it were - and then run away….to a military sensibility, it’s just unconscionable.
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10 wars, millions killed, 1 nobel peace prize, 0 indictments.
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@HalpernAlex
Half the country still thinks COVID is only something that happens when you don't Capitalism hard enough
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We’re about 3 days away from distributing cyanide pills in the Führerbunker
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Signed out on terminal leave today.
Last day in uniform.
Feels good. Feels strange. But mostly good.
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Hey man, cool tweet, but counterpoint:
Slavery was wrong and your traitor Secesh ancestors deserved worse
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I realize "charge into a building to stop an active shooter" is a big thing to ask of a person, but if you're unwilling to take on that kind of risk to protect your fellow citizens, especially kids, why the hell are you a cop in the first place?
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DAD: Does anyone want to share anything before dinner?
ME: Mickey Mouse owns Pluto, a dog, despite being friends with Goofy, a dog. This implies there is selective slavery in the Disney universe.
FAMILY:
ME: Also-
DAD: What the fuck
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HOT TAKE TIME
It makes zero sense to require soldiers to stay awake for 24+ hours for staff duty. Expecting soldiers to drive home after 24 hours without sleep is dangerous.
They should be given a place to rotate for sleep. Even a few hours is much better than zero.
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I have no words to describe the disgust and anger I feel seeing Donald Trump smile and give the thumbs up next to the grave of one of our fallen heroes
There is no greater sacrifice than giving one’s life in defense of our country. It was my solemn privilege to stand alongside the family of Staff Sgt. Darin Taylor Hoover at Arlington National Cemetery today as we paid tribute to his legacy and the 12 others who lost their lives
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What's a weird or unique fact about your military service?
I've flown in C-130s five times but I've never landed in one. Only flew in them during Airborne School so they made me jump out every time.
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There was really only one period of my life where I handled true classified documents, not even TS/SCI, and the idea of taking photos of those documents to post online to win Discord arguments never crossed my mind
Which shows I don’t truly have the Heart of a Poaster
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Oh good I sure am glad the military decided not to take reports of right wing extremism within the ranks seriously lest they piss off the right wing extremists in Congress
There will definitely not be more consequences for ignoring this clear and present internal danger
The man who stole and leaked hundreds of classified U.S. documents to impress his teenaged gamer buddies is a Jew-hating racist with a conspiracist view of government. And the Pentagon gave him clearance. I look forward to more commentaries on here about the problem with fascists
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DIPSHITS: America will be destroyed, the combined might of the Righteous will sink all American vessels into the sea
US CAPTAIN WHILE COMMANDING THE CARRIER LAUNCHING STRIKES BLOWING UP HOUTHIS:
Ha ha have a cookie, here is coin, have good day sailors :)
Two unsuspecting Airmen called to bridge to meet the captain. Cookie offered. Their C-2 squadron beach det wanted to shock them from afar. It worked.
Message to beach: “Enjoying the boat!”
Sent back to their Plane Captain duties with a challenge coin (for their troubles).
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Go ahead
Touch the boats
See what happens
USN fanboys are always furious when I point out that silly FONOPs in the South China Sea are under constant surveillance and can be hit by hypersonic missiles from multiple directions. (It's like you parading around in my front yard while I check the zero on my AR15 by pointing
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Happy Veterans Day to everyone except filthy Secesh traitors and their fanboys
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I for one welcome our future French vampire overlord
A mysterious leaden sarcophagus discovered in the bowels of Paris' Notre-Dame cathedral after it was devastated by a fire will soon be opened and its secrets revealed, French archaeologists said
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This article about military discounts at Lowe’s is truly amazing, but the highlighted part is exactly what I expect from a veteran complaining about no longer getting 10% off appliances for merely existing
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I saw my first cybertruck in the wild and let me tell you:
No amount of pictures, of seeing videos of this thing prepares you for how fucking goofy it looks in real life
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“The Mummy” is back in theaters, which is your reminder that it had the hottest cast in the history of movies
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MORONS: omg the military is on the move SOMETHING IS GOING DOWN!
PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN/NEAR YERMO SEEING SOLDIERS EXPERIENCE ABSOLUTE DESPAIR EACH MONTH:
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Reparate deez nutz BITCH
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When your T-80 runs out of fuel and the buildings around you start speaking Ukrainian
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@skyhighhuntin
Buddy, have I got "force Congress to declare war again before military operations" legislation I think we'd BOTH love
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Ladies and Gentlemen,
We have the technology. We have the capability. We must now find the will.
America can, should, must, and will destroy Ohio.
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There's this specific genre of Twitter weirdo that will try to argue with you then demand you explain in excruciating detail why their arguments are wrong
You're not paying me for my time. You are not entitled to a response. I'm not obligated to teach. I don't owe you anything.
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These are British soldiers in WWII, operating a gun in dresses because a German raid interrupted rehearsals for a drag show
Drag shows are a military tradition. Nothing is being “forced”, this has always been part of the military
Military bases can no longer hold drag shows, Pentagon says
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