L a u r e n
@LMAD_87
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✨Relatively Normal • Reyt Northern • Wife • Dog Mum • Indie Cindy • Gig Goer • Adidas Enthusiast • Crisp Connoisseur • Procrastinator • @Rovers • @Saints1890 ✨
Lancashire ✌🏻
Joined July 2009
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![[용삼]😷](https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/1033023232159301634/qS4Lw4OW.png)
Biblical photograph taken by
@cottontowncat
of the new
@liamgallagher
mural in
#Blackburn
🖤
#LiamGallagher
#LG
#spezial
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So, this was the original Christmas jumper I wanted to wear today, but work asked me not to. Fuming cos Neil’s tits are incredible and should be shared with everyone🎄
#christmasjumperday
#neilwarnock
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I wish some of you Twitter folk lived closer.
Drinking on my tod in the yard is no fun.
I make a reyt good gin cocktail and have impeccable taste in music. Well modest too 😂
#SaturdayThoughts
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When your life is a collosul fuck up but you’re a pro at fake smiling and filters ✌🏻
Bonne nuit x
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On Thursday morning I woke up thinking that I’d be better off not being here.
By Thursday afternoon I was in the GP surgery scared that I might act on these thoughts.
Thursday evening I told my parents and my sister.
Friday? Friday I went to work.
#WorldSuicidePreventionDay
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If you’re even thinking about defending Mason Greenwood then please, FUCK OFF.
The bravery of Harriet Robson is inconceivable 🖤🖤🖤
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Can we fuck off judging folk today?
So what if people have been at the pub with their friends?
So what if people are queuing to get into Primark?
So what if people are at the gym?
If it makes them happy then so be it. It’s the least people deserve after all this.
#BeKind
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Here she is.
Drunk in a port-a-loo.
Not at a festival or gig.
But smiling.
Did I speak to random lasses queuing up? Yes.
Will I see them again?
No.
But it’s abit of normality.
Fuck knows I need it 🖤
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Off out for some grub and a few drinks with my lovelies.
Not guna lie, I’ve already changed my outfit, cos I’m a girl and hate 98% of myself and what’s in my wardrobe 🙃
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Tequila Rosé shots with my 86 year old Gran.
Sheila gives her verdict at the end.
Merry Christmas 🎄
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17 🖤
All worn and boxless bar one extremely biblical pair ///
Love all of my little trainer babies, looking forward to welcoming 2 more pairs courtesy of
@custom_casuals
when the pandemic is over 🙌🏻
#adidas
#adidasspezial
#spzl
#adifam
#3stripelife
#adidasoriginals
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Oh, you're a Topshop princess, a rockstar, too
But you're a fad and you're a fashion
And I'm having a job trying to talk to you….
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Paying someone £8 to use their field for 30 minutes so my dog can have a run off the lead.
Little shit better appreciate it, otherwise I’ll have to run round to get my monies worth 🙄
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Off for my smear.
Been a while since my fanny has seen a new face.
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IT’S HAPPENING!!!!
I hadn’t let myself believe it would until I’d collected the wristband, but here we are 🤩
Thank you
@EricsOldMan
, it means the world to me 🖤
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Can officially say that I’ve been made permanent at work 🎉🎉
One less thing to wobble my head about 🙌🏻
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Ever wondered where I get my tits from?
THIS GUY.
I’m just forever grateful and proud to call him Dad 🖤
#FathersDay
#MyDadMyHero
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Holy fucking shit balls - I start my new job tomorrow and I am bricking it.
I just need to find one weirdo that’ll be my mate and then I’m sorted.
Guna have to suppress my personality until I can gage what kinda folk I’m working with. Then, when it’s safe, go full on Lauren.
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My Dad - “why are you always dressed like a 15 year old boy?”
Me - “why are you looking at 15 year old boys?”
Turns out accusing your own Dad of being a nonce isn’t even remotely funny.
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Mask delivery from
@brandsintheair
🖤
What I like most about this mask (apart from the design 🍋) is that it’s big enough for folk not to see that I’m mouthing “fuck off” at them every 20 seconds.
#WearAMask
#StoneRoses
#FaceMask
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I swear down, if they end up banning all forms of outdoor activity due to a few fucktards not being able to stay out of the park, I will lose my shit.
STOP IT.
This situation is hard enough.
Stop being selfish cunts.
You can tan your corn beef skin when this is all over.
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Employment terminated immediately.
Made to collect my things and leave quietly. No goodbyes, nothing.
I need someone to take me to the pub so I can drink myself into oblivion and cry.
Genuinely don’t care who.
Happy fucking Friday!
#Friday
#unemployed
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Looking for some likeminded lasses to follow on here and possibly end up being real life mates with.
Must be keen on going to gigs and drinking lots of cider, cos that’s all I’ll be doing when this shit show is over.
Genuinely not being sarcastic BTW 🖤
#friends
#friendship
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Blackburn’s for the big shop 🌹
#Adidas
#adidasspezial
#adidasspzl
#Blackburn
#Adifamily
#adifam
#ShareYourStripes
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Catfishing my new colleagues on my first day 😂
All down hill after today for them 👊🏻
#firstday
#newjob
#freshstart
#newgirl
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Remember when everyone used to get along and appreciate eachothers Adidas trainers?
Reyt nice time that. I miss it.
There’s already so much shit going on in the world, let’s not add to it eh? ///
#adidas
#Adifamily
#adifam
#3stripes2soles1love
#3stripeslife
#ShareYourStripes
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Honestly, I’m abit overwhelmed by the amount of comments and messages of support I’ve received today.
This is the side of Twitter that I love.
Now, if you’ve messaged me previously wanting to pay for feet pictures please get in touch. I’ve decided to reconsider 😂🦶🏻
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Never too old to need your Dad. As soon as I left work yesterday I went straight to see mine.
First thing he said to me? “Cunts. I’m going down to have a quiet word”.
Had to remind him that I’m a 33 year old woman and that I hadn’t just fallen out with someone at school 😂
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Just a reyt big Northern thankyou to each and every single person who’s taken the time to send me some birthday love today 🥰
It honestly means more to this lass than you know 🖤
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Didn’t expect to see some lass in a car sucking off her fella on my dinner break.
Different kind of sausage roll that hun.
Accrington, oh how I’ve missed thee.
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I did it!! I got the promotion 🖤🖤🖤
Professional pants on today.
Meeting with the Director to discuss a *promotion/pay rise.
*And by promotion, I mean finally getting paid for doing all of the extra things that aren’t on my current job description, but will be on my new job description.
🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻
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Things I’ve done since I was last online:
Bought trainers ✔️
Got drunk in Manchester ✔️
Sorted my life out ✖️
Baby steps and all that 🤷🏻♀️
#Adidas
#Manchester
#OneStepAtATime
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Some absolute shithouse has put a sparkling water back in the still section.
I’ve only realised when I’ve opened it in the car. Day ruined and dehydrated.
Dirty fizzy water wankers.
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Contractor has come onsite, he’s asked whether I need to take his temperature, I’ve said yes, but (as a joke) we can only do it with a rectal thermometer.
I laugh. He doesn’t.
WHY DO I DO THIS?!?
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Amsterdam’s on foot today.
Testing my new colleagues to see who appreciates decent trainers 😊
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Nothing to see here, just a casual belated birthday message from
@jimmybullard
The less said about that 89th minute free kick the better 😂
Proper made up with this, absolute legend! 🙌🏻
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The Final 2020 FOD.
I’m guna whip up some British Tapas, listen to music and drink copious amounts of gin.
Love to all ✌🏻🖤
#GoodBye2020
#NewYear
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85 today.
Smaller than Yoda.
A daily diet of 40 Sterling Superking Red, black leaf tea and biscuits.
Has donated her body to medical science cos she “can’t be arsed with a funeral”
My Grandma
Our Sheila 🖤
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Did a lockdown decorating thing. I cannot wait till I can have people over to eat takeaway and drink gin 🖤
#renovation
#diningroom
#glowup
#beforeandafter
#victorianterrace
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My sister. My best friend. WHY YOU SO FIT THOUGH 😩😩
Nicest picture we’ll get before we’re shitfaced 😂
#sister
#Liverpool
#outout
#BankHoliday
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I can’t quite find the words to describe Rob and the Burrows family.
Incredible. Inspirational. Extraordinary.
Nothing seems enough when trying to advocate the strength and love they have for each other.
Heroes 🖤
#MND
#LivingWithMND
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Me going to footy on my own will be reyt won’t it?
I missed going last season as I didn’t have anyone to go with, and really don’t want to have to do the same this season ☹️
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WTAF is wrong with people? Has Covid turned folk feral?! Tidy up after yourselves you scruffy bastards!
The scene in Cardiff Bay this morning - council workers had already been cleaning up for over two hours by this point.
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Been out for early birthday celebrations.
Lass is 37 on Monday 😘
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Just an idea, but if you’re not happy with who is playing at
#Glastonbury2022
- don’t watch it? 🤷🏻♀️
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@Reverend_Makers
A few weeks ago you said you’d be here to support anyone and everyone that might need it. And you know what? We’re here just as much for you. Sending all our love to you and yours Jon 🖤
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Awaiting the arrival of my parents and the impending “sort your fucking life out” chat.
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Today is already better than yesterday, because today I’ve actually made it to work.
Whereas yesterday I just got ready and then went back to bed.
Small victories and all that 🙃
#mentalhealth
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My Mum has been round with my Easter eggs (I’m 34 in 2 days 👍🏻). As she was leaving she said “now remember Lauren, don’t eat those till Sunday”.
Sunday? Fucking hell Alan, you’ll be lucky if they make it to tomorrow, never mind fucking Sunday.
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Galaxy is better than Dairy Milk.
I will not be told otherwise.
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34 years of age, but the first thing I do when I go to my parents is walk straight in, straight to the fridge, grab a few slices of wafer thin ham and then throw myself onto their settee.
Same routine I had every day when I got in from school.
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Monday morning delivery at its finest 🖤
Classic Hamburg’s in triple black leather. Had these on order since the 22nd October.
Absolute beauts 🖤
#adidas
#adidashamburg
#shareyourstripes
#3stripelife
#adifam
#adifamily
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I didn’t think it was possible for Joey Barton to be any more of a fucktard.
I was wrong.
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Receiving an actual wage tomorrow.
First time since July.
Cannot bloody wait.
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An absolute dream 😍😍
I’d take this over a load of designer heels any day 🖤🖤
My /// collection... finally sorted. This is about half of my pairs of
#adidasOriginals
#AdiFamily
#ShareYourStripes
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Never get too attached to anyone.
Because attachment leads to expectations.
And expectations lead to disappointment.
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Signs of an awesome gig? Sweating my tits off and covered in what I hope is beer.
@TheLathums
I salute you 💛🖤
#TheLathums
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6 months ago King Louie the shihtzu was diagnosed with stage 4 kidney disease.
3 weeks ago we were told he was in complete renal failure.
Weeks turned into days, days have turned into hours.
He’s saved my life more than I care to admit.
It breaks my heart I can’t save his.
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I sincerely hope this man is bummed to death in prison.
🚨 BREAKING: Stephen Bear has been jailed for 21 months for his crimes against Georgia Harrison.
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I spend a good 75% of my time proving to the computer that I’m not a robot.
If I’m not picking out tractors, it’s fucking traffic lights.
reCAPTCHA this 🖕🏻
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I’m wearing a hat.
I’m wearing a hat indoors.
I need to grow some balls and wear said hat outdoors.
I’ve also got myself a Burnham.
And a headache.
So that is my Sunday hat/headache/ Burnham story.
Thank you for listening 🖤
#Hat
#Sunday
#HatTwat
#AndyBurnham
#StanleyChow
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Work giving me the login details to post on the company Instagram.
Me jokingly saying “I hope I don’t mix up accounts and accidentally post my nudes”.
Absolute silence.
FFS.
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Biting the bullet and looking at going back to see a private counsellor. So much going on in my head that I need to address before I can even attempt to move forward with my life 🖤
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That treble weekend drop /// 🖤
#Adidas
#adifam
#adifamily
#3stripelife
#pandemicpurchase
#adidasjeans
#adidasgazelle
#adidascoaststar
#shareyourstripes
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