Commissar Warhorse
@JPWARHORSE
Followers
40,125
Following
1,303
Media
8,047
Statuses
66,877
Pro Wrestler. Commissar of Nihilatiōn. The Voice of Reason. Embrace Nihilism.
St.Louis, MO
Joined August 2012
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Pinned Tweet
I had a Turnbuckle ripped out of my face during a Wrestling Match and Finished the Match.
#AndThatsHowIGotThisScar
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Homage 🖤
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A JEDI MOM WHO WORKS TOO HARD, WHO LOVES HER KIDS AND NEVER STOPS
Am I *insane* or does Yaddle (female Yoda on the Jedi Council in PHANTOM MENACE) look like Reba?
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CODY SAID I CAN KICK HIS ASS AND TAKE HIS BELT IN 5 MINUTES
You asked for it, AEW is giving it to you❗️
(but I predict this won’t be long, he doesn’t get outside of 5 minutes with me)
8/7c on
@tntdrama
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ITS YOU GUYS THAT HELPED ME RULE ASS TONIGHT, THANK YOU
SOCIAL EXCLUSIVE
@JPWARHORSE
showed a lot of strength and determination in his match against
@CodyRhodes
tonight.
But needless to say, here are All Elite Wrestling - We all now know that WARHORSE RULES ASS!
#AEWDynamite
.
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DO YA WANNA BANG HEADS WITH ME?!?!?
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“Who is Danhausen I don’t know him”
WELL FIGURE IT OUT YOU FUCKING IDIOT YOU ARE ON THE INTERNET AS WE SPEAK FUCKING GOOGLE HIM
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I DROVE BRET HART ONE TIME AND WE ALMOST GOT IN A CAR ACCIDENT
HE SAID “Thanks for keeping me safer than Goldberg”
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HOW MANY SAUDI PPVS DO THEY RUN VS HOW MANY PEOPLE THEY REALLY NEEDED TO CUT TODAY…
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DARKHORSE
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I FUCKIN HATE GHOST
Don’t claim to be a music fan if you don’t know who this is!
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CRAZY TO THINK THAT STU HART WAS SO OLD THAT HE WRESTLED JESUS
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WWE TALENTS SHOULD GIVE VINCE 30 DAYS TO FIND SOME BIG RUBBER LIPS THAT HE CAN USE TO KISS THEIR ASSES
Vince McMahon, WWE give talents 30 days to end third party deals
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DONT BEAT YOURSELF UP DUDE I ALWAYS CONSIDERED YOU A PROFESSIONAL
It’s a professional versus an amateur - I’m the one with everything to lose
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I NEED A MORTAL KOMBAT LEVEL OF COLOR SWAP KANES ROAMING THE INDIES
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GLAD YOUR STUPID FUCKING NAME MATCHES YOUR STUPID FUCKING OPINION
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THINKING ABOUT ALL THE POOR BASTARDS THAT HEARD MASTER OF PUPPETS ON STRANGER THINGS, LIKED IT, LOOKED FOR MORE METALLICA, THEN FOUND ST. ANGER
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IF I EVER WON THE RUMBLE, I WOULDNT POINT AT THE MANIA SIGN…
I’D SHOOT IT
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YEAH THE OUTCOME WAS WHAT IT WAS… BUT THE CROWD COMING UNGLUED AS I WALKED TO THE RING ERASED OVER A YEAR OF SELF DOUBT… SAY WHATEVER YOU WANT, BUT THAT NIGHT I WON
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THE PLAN IS TO WALK OUT WITH THE TNT CHAMPIONSHIP IN ABOUT 4:59, THEN I WILL GO TO THE SINK AND WASH ALL OF THE BLEACH BLONDE HAIR OFF MY FISTS
You asked for it. You got it.
This Wednesday on Dynamite -
@CodyRhodes
defends his TNT Championship against the challenger
@JPWARHORSE
.
Watch
#AEWDynamite
every Wednesday night on
@TNTDrama
8e/7c or for our International fans.
#AEWonTNT
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DON’T BE POOR? FUCK I DIDNT EVEN THINK OF THAT
Congrats to Braun Strowman for winning the worst Instagram post of 2020 award.
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LOOK AT THAT BAYBEEEEE
Welcome to the team
#MadKing
#EddieKingston
is
#AllElite
#SignEddieKingston
is now
#EddieKingstonIsSigned
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MOST PEOPLE HAVE PLUNGERS
THIS GAS STATION HAS THE TURBO SHITTER 2000 COMPLETE WITH POWER GRIP AND TORQUE CONTROL
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CALLED MY NIECE A SHIT ASS BITCH AND NOW SHES CRYING IN THE BATHROOM
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WHOS READY TO PARTY WITH THE THRASHMASTER GENERAL?!?!?
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DEFINITELY GAVE CODY A GOOD THRASHING LAST NIGHT
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YOU SHOULD CALL YOUR GRANDMA IF YOU CAN. WARHORSE IS OUT OF GRANDMAS AND CANT DO THAT ANYMORE
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ELBOW DROPPING A CHEESEBURGER FOR THE LOCAL NEWS IN SPOKANE, WA 💪🤘
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FUCKIN ABYSS WAS ON SMACKDOWN?!?!? EVERYONE ELSE SHUT UP THIS IS THE ONLY NEWS!!!!
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WE WENT FROM HAVING KICK ASS NAMES LIKR “Adam Bomb” AND “Mike Awesome” TO HAVING NAMES LIKE “Steven Phillips” AND “Claxston Braxston” WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED
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ARE YOU ABOUT TO EXPOSE MAGICS BIGGEST SECRETS?!?
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TRACY: “Y’all remember Stone Cold Steve Austin?”
ME: “YEAH!” *EXPECTING A LONG ASS STORY*
TRACY: “He was Awesome” *WALKS AWAY*
RIP TRACY SMOTHERS, YOU WERE AWESOME
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I DONT UNDERSTAND HOW THIS IS CM PUNKS PROBLEM
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For everyone asking if I’m ok
No, I’m not. I haven’t been ok since May 7, 2021. I would show up, put on my paint, and act like everything was fine. It wasnt. Taking a break from All Caps because thats just not who I am right now. For the next month or so I will still try to give
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AEW TO DANHAUSEN CONFIRMED
Bryan Danielson proudly showing off the tooth he just kicked out of Colt Cabana's mouth.
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BOSTON DAVID PARNELL
7LBS 6OZ
BORN MAY 4 10:01PM
EMERGENCY C SECTION HAD US WORRIED BUT THIS KID IS ADORABLE AND WE ARE STILL WAITING ON HIM TO CURL THESE 35LB DUMBBELLS
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DID YOU TAKE MY FUCKING CAR?
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THIS IS WHAT I AM CHANGING MY NAME TO IF I GO TO NXT
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Rest in Peace Dave Gaab
You were my stepdad, but you always treated me like your own son. He lost his battle with cancer today, but he spent his life making everyone around him feel better for knowing him
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RIP Daffney
This is awful news, nobody should ever feel alone. Take today to let your friends and family know how much they mean to you, it could make all the difference
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SHANE MCMAHON TO AEW CONFIRMED
ICYMI
What could
@DarbyAllin
be referring to with these mentions of Chicago and Best in the World?
#AEWDynamite
#FightForTheFallen
is available in select INTL markets from
#FITE
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HE DID WIN
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HOPE HE SAVES HIS MONEY AND GETS A REAL JOB
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This is so fucking ridiculous, they should be in jail
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HE JUST RAN ME ACROSS A DAMN FOOTBALL FIELD DUDE NOBODY EVER SAY
@JANELABABY
IS OUT OF SHAPE
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My niece wants to be a wrestler, she has for as long as I can remember. Shes only 13. I’m afraid if she actually pursues it like I did and I don’t train her, something may happen to her. I’m glad we are cleaning up professional wrestling, this should have happened years ago
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WARHORSE IS PART BLACKFOOT
FUCK ANYONE WHO SAYS I LOOK LIKE TATANKA/NIGHTWOLF
FUCH CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS
HAPPY INDIGENOUS PEOPLES DAY
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IN CASE YOU MISSED IT BOTH PUNK AND KENTA GAVE DANHAUSEN THE “GO 2 SLEEP” AND IF YOU DONT LIKE IT YOU CAN FUCK RIGHT OFF
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NOT SURE IF YOU ARE GONNA SEE THIS, BUT THIS WAS ONE OF MY FAVORITE THINGS I’VE EVER BEEN APART OF
THANK YOU KYLIE, I HOPE YOU FIND WHAT YOU’RE LOOKING FOR
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NOBODY TOLD ME TAKESHITA WAS IN THE GOD DAMN JUNIOR OLYMPICS FOR TRACK AND FIELD
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STOP TAGGING ME IN THIS SHIT THIS LADY FUCKIN SUCKS
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HOW YOU LOOK DOING BATISTAS ENTRANCE IN YOUR LIVING ROOM
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I’ve been very fortunate to do some pretty weird stuff
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I LIKE INTERGENDER WRESTLING, AND
@IamKylieRae
IS ONE OF THE BEST WRESTLERS I HAVE EVER FACED IN THE RING
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HE DISAPPEARED OUT OF THE AMBULANCE? IS SHAQ THE FUCKIN UNDERTAKER NOW?
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THIS LADY FUCKED AN AUTOBOT
Anyway, here’s a truly bizarre maternity photo a friend shared from a Facebook group called “Only Way Is Trucking.”
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EVERYONE SAYS YOU WONT MAKE IT FAR, UNTIL YOU DO. AND SO FAR THIS YEAR WARHORSE HAS:
- FOUGHT LIKE HELL ON
@AEWonTNT
- BECAME A CHARACTER IN
@RetrosoftStudio
- HAD A DOCUMENTARY BY
@kenjohnson1028
- FEATURED IN THE BRAND NEW
@ComicWarhausen
JUST GO WITH YOUR GUT
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PETITION TO CHANGE THE NAME OF THE “POWERBOMB” TO THE “DICK IN THE FACE SLAM”
ALL IN FAVOR SAY AYE
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HAHAHA GET READY TO EAT AN ELBOW DROP JACKASS
$10,000 to any influencer who can beat me in a wrestling match
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I HAVE ZERO ADVICE ON HOW TO COUNTER THIS PROPERLY
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SERIOUSLY WHY WAS THERE A NEW STEINER ON TV TONIGHT AND HIS NAME WAS WRONG AND HIS MUSIC DIDNT GO WEE WOO WEE WOO
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