Wanda Sykes
@iamwandasykes
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Comic, producer, writer, stunt double, wife, mother, and know-it-all. Coming to a city near you...maybe. Check the website for tour dates.
Joined March 2011
Dear NFL players, please go to Puerto Rico and kneel to trick @realDonaldTrump into focusing on what the fuck he should be focusing on.
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Ya know. at first I wanted a female President. Then I thought another black President would be good, but now I just want an American President.
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If youâre a Trump supporter and not a racist, you should find this upsetting. If it doesnât upset you, then youâve just gotta trust us on this one. Youâre a racist.
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Biden feels at home speaking to the Black community. He made a joke. Comedy ainât easy, but he didnât say 2 go shoot Clorox in our tits. Now, I wouldnât make a blanket statement to say that voting for Trump means youâre not Black. I would say that it means youâre not smart.
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Goodnight yâall. I gotta get up early to go down to the creek to look for my ballot.đ.
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Donât fall for it! STAY HOME, STAY SAFE! Let them march, we voted! We WON!
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When Lunar New Year and the first day of Black History Month fall on the same day
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Ok, so I want us to really hit it out of the park. Whatâs the # we should trend tomorrow during President Obamaâs commencement speech? We need one that will make the BABY have a major tantrum. Should we keep it simple with just, #Obama?.
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Wow! @realDonaldTrump just blamed the victims for not having guns inside the temple. Heâs gotta go!.
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Oh! Hey Chachi. Apologies, I didnât see you. Iâll keep it short. Joe Biden didnât say, âThen you ainât an ape.â . Well, let me get back to work. I hope you enjoy whatever it is that you do.
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So yâall had me trending this morning. Dat baby is cute! And daddy is working that hair out. She has the Wanda Sykes starter fro going on. #DaddyDaughter â¤ď¸.
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BITCH PLEASE! You sorry ass father is the one who started the family separation. He abused children! And as for values. you and your whole awful family have none! . And one more thing. fuck you!
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Sobbing, missing my grandmother. Yeah, itâs been 35yrs, but, she loved me.
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Ya know. I make an effort to not hate anyone, but that Jim Jordan sure does make it hard.
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I bet they asked Herschel Walker if he was ready to make his concession speech, and he said, âYes, two hot dogs please.â . Congratulations @ReverendWarnock .Thank you GA!đđž.
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From the jump, I knew Trump was going to be bad, but I NEVER EVER thought that it would be this bad. This shit is catastrophic. And letâs not get distracted, weâre in a pandemic. Trump has let over 100K Americans die from Covid 19. No testing. No tracing. No real plan.
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I just tried a keto friendly cereal. I think tomorrow Iâll just eat my cabinets.
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Sheâs wrong for calling Trump a motherf***er. Heâs a âlying motherf***er.â.
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Ok, did you assholes get together and ask, âHow can we make this THE worst Black History Month ever? I mean letâs really fuck it up.â.
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I truly believe if cancer had been cured under Obamaâs administration, the Republicans wouldâve found a way to bring it back.
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So, are we completely out of rubber bullets and tear gas?.
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That was a nice sweet booing. It melted my heart. đđž.
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Just sending some love to my trans sisters. đłď¸ââ§ď¸.
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Well, I didnât get Covid last weekendđđž, but I have one of the worst colds Iâve had in a very long time. Iâm sticking with the masks.
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Tonight is so special, Iâm gonna go put on my bra. @@KamalaHarris #MakingHerstory ##BidenHarris2020 #AKA1908.
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This man was an immense talent who consistently spread joy. His instagram helped get me through the pandemic and I will miss his light dearly. Rest in peace Leslie.
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WTF? Problem, Blacks, especially Black men, are perceived as a menace. These men werenât in a bank lobby waiting for a friend. They were in a damn Starbucks. THE âmeet meâ spot in America.
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Great! Because we buy tickets based on whoâs officiating that day.
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đ¤Śđ˝ââď¸Yâall, Steve Fân Bannon is on my flight. Iâm gonna double check that this plane stops in Albuquerque first before it continues on to hell.
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I wish that all of the mothers of those kneeling NFL players would show up at the WH and ask Trump, "Who you calling a bitch?".
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Trump bails on the Town Hall debate with Biden because he didnât want another ass whupping so NBC decides to air a special episode of, âThe Apprentice.â ? Nah. Iâm BLACKING OUT NBC and MSNBC today! This does not support democracy, this supports a sideshow.
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I think this is called a. âpress briefingâ? But donât quote me!
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Weâre fully vaccinated and now rejuvenated! Canât wait to hug you! Please get the vaccine. Treat yourself! #vaccinated â
IG @iamalexsykes (special shout-out to @KizzyPhD) Thank you science!
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So from the feedback Iâm seeing, Trump deserves an ice cream tonight since he was so good at the funeral this morning. Folks, sitting still, is a low bar.đ¤Śđ˝ââď¸.
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No no no no no! You do not get to âchooseâ to hide under the rainbow! Kick rocks!
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And I would just like to add that like most women, weâre quick to apologize even when itâs uncalled for, but in this and similar situations, âIâm sorry,â is 99.9% to be interpreted as, âMuthafucka what did you just say to me?â.
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FINALLY! @jack told Trump to STFU! đđž . Can we put them on a family plan? Don Jr, Ivanka, Eric, Tiffany, Jared, you too Melania. Shut all of those scoundrels down!.
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Itâs time to call a muthafucker, a muthafucker. And yeah, Iâm talking about that muthafucker! #ImpeachTrump.
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Cicely Tyson opened doors, broke through ceilings, and made pathways. We will be forever grateful.
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Can we not forget that the only reason why Trump nominated this beer loving judge is because in a law review article, Kavanaugh stated that Congress should exempt sitting Presidents from criminal indictment. Period. #StopKavanaughNow.
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Iâm playing a drinking game, do a shot when they lie. Bad idea.
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Iâm trying a new wineâŚpairing it with an indictment. đˇ
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Ya knowâŚas voters,⌠we could just say we donât want our politicians and federal judges dealing in the stock market. Periodt.
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How many of yâall heard âbitchâ at the end of her statement?.
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An impeached President is starting a war, while on vacation at his country club in Florida. I know. Sounds crazy, right? We need some âchecks and balancesâ up in here.
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Watching âElfâ with my kids. Itâs their first time. đ¤ đ â¤ď¸đ.
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Hereâs the tweet. If you voted for Trump, there is a racist bone in your body. It might be in your pinky toe. but itâs there. Praying for you.đđžâ¤ď¸.
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You are an asshole. and I do mean âjust the hole.â You donât deserve cheeks.
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My mother just called me to tell me to behave myself. đ. Donât tell her I rolled my eyes!.
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Has the Mitch McConnell, âYou About to Lose Yo Jobâ jawn, dropped yet?.
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Dear white people as we approach these summer months just know there isnât a single Black person in the world who wants to hear âIâm almost as dark as youâ #wandawisdom
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Gonna keep dancing and Google translate the lyrics when she goes to sleep
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Prayers for the two LA deputies. đđž And praying for justice for all.â¤ď¸.
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Thank you for your service! đđžHey!!!! đşđ¸â¤ď¸.
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Quick shoutout to everyone who touched their eyeballs taking out their contacts, to realize that they were already out.
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Some folks in my hood are going all out for Halloween, but the scariest decoration so far is the Trump/Pence lawn sign.
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I donât know who needs to hear this, but this pandemic will be over one day, and youâll have people in your home again. so, you might wanna pick that up.
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I'm really going to miss all of the texts that Paul would send throughout the day to wish me a happy birthday. it was usually someone getting a pie in the face. He asked for donations to go to @SU2C & dementia or Alzheimer related orgs. Give what you can. Rest in paradise.
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Yes, that face she is making is the, âYou a lying muthafucka,â face.
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In remembrance of First Lady Rosalynn Carter, who brought compassion and advocacy to the forefront. A true inspiration and a woman of substance. Sending love to President Carter and their family. May she rest in peace.
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Trump just RT the video from TX of his supporters running the #BidenHarris motorcade out of town, along w/ âI LOVE TEXAS!â Intimidation & #votersuppression is nothing new, but this is dangerous. We must #vote to honor those who fought & died for us to be able to cast that ballot
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Hey @realDonaldTrump. what was that thing you said about you ânever used those terms on anyoneâ. ? Well, who is this asshole?đđ˝.
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Are they gonna have time to tent the WH and fumigate before the Bidenâs arrive? And sage it too! #HeGone.
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May God bless all of those Capitol police officers who were there Jan 6th.
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Say what now? Exactly what is âtoo far?â The rapist has to pay off the victimâs student loan? Girl bye.
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Ok. so I think itâs time that we all should just head down to our local precincts and file a restraining order on this. this. help me Lord. uh this troubled individual. I donât know about you, but I donât want this fool anywhere near me. đđ˝.
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𤣠@SpeakerRyan After all of the awful shit @realDonaldTrump has done, and not a âpeepâ from you. How dare you ask @RepMaxineWaters to apologize for supporting us to speak out against hatred and discrimination? I literally want you to go bury your fucking head in the sand.
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Giiirrrrlllll. this is so my mood! I just canât. I told Alex to only speak to me in French from now on.
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How are you gonna deal with Mitch McConnell?.Me: âIâm gonna have my cousin Trey smack the sh- What happened to my mic?â.#DemDebate2020.
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Why am I still laughing at last nightâs @AbbottElemABC when Ava asked for a chairâŚ?đđđ @janellejcomedy @quintabrunson.
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Hey @realDonaldTrump, we know how much you hate being a loser, because thatâs what you are now, a loser, because you lost. so, I donât think anyone would mind if you just left now. Why wait? Theyâre just gonna keep talking about you being a loser.đ¤ˇđ˝ââď¸.
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