Douglas "Big D" Dimmadome
@DougalsDim1738
Followers
847
Following
537
Media
198
Statuses
4,795
Erewhon member, IBTC Activist, sugar free Red Bull consumer, & slutty thigh tat owner. Hot women + shitposting. Forbes “New Ivy” grad. Un-retired reply-guy.
Los Angeles, CA
Joined March 2024
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Pinned Tweet
I wish I could sleep in but instead my body wakes me up at 6am on a Saturday more rock hard than The Thing from Fantastic Four.
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8 inches & thick
Talent
Love & respect
21 years of faithfulness
Dead wife & daughter
6 minute mile
Besides your phone, wallet and keys, what do you carry with you everyday?
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One of my interns just invited me to his 21st and put me in the gc with all his friends. I love this kid.
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@saeedfan1
That’s what started a secret 6 month office relationship for me, Steve. Godspeed. That shit was so fun
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I LUV IT by Camila Cabello is unironically one of the greatest things to happen in music in 2024.
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That’s sick bro, you’re racist and homophobic 🤙🏻🤙🏻 Right on brother. Wish I had a dope personality like that. Maybe I’d get more women 😫😫😫
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Got handed this resume for intern interview. Thanks buddy, had never heard of Deloitte or “Big Four” before 👍🏻
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@bobbycomps
Yeah I wont be doing that one, Bobby. But free booze, tacos, and party bus will play.
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@MarkPriorRBW
I don’t know a single optimistic dodgers fan this year
- a pessimistic Dodgers fan
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@1packersfan6969
Let this happen to you one time and you’ll never shit without checking for TP again.
Every man needs these to happen to them at some point in their life
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Final product
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@DarnayTripp
As a grown man, why are you ever saying "my birthday" out loud let alone getting sad on a broadcast about your birthday wish not coming true.
He doesn't need a beer, he needs a tampon. Dodgers in 5.
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The gay guy who works at my go to office lunch spot always throws in extra food for me.
As long as he’s giving me double meat, idgaf if he’s fantasizing about my meat.
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The first time I ended it with a girl and she didn’t threaten to kill herself I had to look myself in the mirror and ask what I did wrong.
I didn’t leave everything I had on the field.
Had to get back in the gym, watch tape, and grind harder.
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-- Please ignore this tweet -- I need to fix my algorithm so going to tweet some keywords of various things I'd like to see more of:
Moo Deng
mackiettaylor_
Fred
June
NFL
Steak
Maisy
Shohei Ohtani
Tatted bisexuals
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Nice pic with your boyfriend at the pumpkin patch! Love that you have someone for the colder months to do cute holiday stuff with.
Unfollowed.
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Posting girls for validation or other people to roast them without permission on this app is weirdo behavior.
1. Glad you need the validation from twitter 👍🏻
2. If you want to bully someone, do it to the old school way and bully them IRL.
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Women that give the best head:
- nurses
- hair dressers
- astrology girls
- crazy eyes
- single moms
- long ass nails
- dead dad
- bible verse tattoo
- bisexual lawyers (big law only)
- cross above bed
The more boxes you check, the better.
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That’ll play
Just picked up two unreal pieces of steak to cook for my parents while we watch the Dodgers.
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Japanese whiskey, Japanese knife, Wagyu Tomahawk, Shohei homer today.
I might just be Japanese.
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CEO just called to tell me we’re eliminating the HR guy’s job because he’s too big of an opp and we need this to be more of a free working environment 😭😭
Brother this is my Super Bowl.
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“Good boy” doesn’t move the needle for me. Maybe because my parents love me? Who knows.
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Microdosing shrooms with the homies with a UV10 🙂↕️
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I was doing hot yoga and one of the girls next to me was giving off a distinct scent that smelled like an old eater I had’s p*ssy.
Had a p*ssy flashback. Call that PPTSD.
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Just interviewed a kid who definitely has a burner. Almost asked him.
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If you leave dishes in the sink for your roommates, your parents clearly did a horrible job.
You should have gotten hit more.
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@quokkagatorr
I will not reply guy.
I will not reply guy.
I will not reply guy.
I will not reply guy.
I will not reply guy.
I will not reply guy.
I will not reply guy.
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Every time there’s a major weather event, I think about this tweet.
Do you know what a "bottle night" is?
Probably not, because my gf and I invented it during a 2023 blizzard in Buffalo, NY.
We lock our phones away, turn the TV off...
Each grab a bottle of wine, and talk.
That's it, we simply talk and enjoy each other's presence.
We live
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Gruden was cooking
The new NFL kickoff rules:
- Onside kicks are illegal before 4th quarter
- The team must be losing to kick an onside kick
- Team must announce intention to kick an onside kick ahead of time
No Fun League strikes again
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Today’s plan:
- Hot Yoga
- CFB
- Tan
- Nap
- Fly to Vegas
- Dinner
- Win money
- Camel crushes
- Go feral with my absolute boys
- Try not to text a girl who lives in vegas that threatened to kill herself (hot) after I ended it (semen retention must continue)
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Today’s agenda:
Wake up rock hard ���
Gym
Hike
Mani/pedi with my mom
Car getting detailed
Haircut
Beach
Hot yoga
Dinner w/ the fam
Doesn’t get much better.
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Horny and fiending to be a reply guy again
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Let’s have a day:
- walk to local coffee shop (leave if the bisexual barista isn’t there)
- hot yoga
- lift
- tan
- Team USA Gold Medal
- Day drinking in Venice for my favorite cousin’s bday
- flirt with her hot friends
- fuck her hottest friend (past situationship, 37 y/o PA)
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Now that brat summer is over I’m ready for fuck oomf fall
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Seeing Mt. Joy at the Bowl tonight.
Tweeting this strictly so the granola girls with tattoos know we could be something.
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This is somehow only the 2nd worst gc I’ve seen behind b** 2**
I’ve lost all hope for humanity, real future leaders of America on this app
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My ideal woman:
- British-Albanian
- 29 years old
- Patchwork tattoos
- 5’8
- International pop star
My ideal man:
- 6’0+
- Good facial bone structure
- 120+ IQ
- Deep voice
- Funny
- Assertive
- Cowboy personality
- Income > $130K
(Optional)
- Ivy League educated
- Old money
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I have absolutely no interest in Halloween this year (or ever).
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If you are built like this, you should DM me.
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Bonus points though for:
- Jewish
- Rich
- Asian
- Small tits
- Tatted
- Bisexual
- Persian
- Lightskin
- Muscle mommy
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Got to the office 1 minute before our CEO and he sees me at my desk with my computer up + running and a sugar free red bull in hand.
Only one in the office.
I present to you- optics.
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I would marry oomf and I don’t even know what she looks like.
She’s just funny and smart and I can tell she’s hot by the way she tweets.
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Going to start publicly commenting “Mine 😍❤️” on every girl’s IG story.
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Dinner with my parents tonight.
Can’t wait for them to ask me how dating is going and for my response to be that I’m in love with a twitter girl.
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This is how
@cigarettequeeen
looked at me right before saying let’s get matching tattoos. Couldn’t say no.
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My buddy’s fantasy league got George Santos to announce their draft order for $99 😭 this mf so down bad.
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I once got with a 6’3 model who played D1 volleyball whose dad was a 9 year NFL vet and to this day I can’t sleep at night knowing she’s not the mother of my children.
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Boss (also Jewish, we control the weather together) asked me yesterday if I was going to be working today (holiday). I told him I’m a good Jew and therefore yes I will be contributing to the shareholders.
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As a man, why are you eating a “meal” that has less than 30 grams of protein?
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Damn. At my parents’ house grilling for the first time since putting my childhood dog down and she used to come outside and lay down while I’d grill.
I just got hit by a mack truck.
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Coworker just asked me if I would “let” my kids play football.
I responded, “no”.
I will force my kids to play football.
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Delete this
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Have a homie that just posted on IG for the first time in 4 years (feed post) and it was for national GF day….
That brother’s in shambles.
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I love when a buddy's girl tries to set me up with one of her friends and asks "what's your type?" and is shocked when I say I don't have one.
Hot is hot.
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Today is one of those quit my job and be a Navy SEAL days.
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Happy national girlfriend day to all my situationships who thought it would ever be something more than that
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Ya’ll woke up hungover…
I woke up hard & horny.
We are not the same.
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I used to go on a 1-2 dates per week.
Now, I practice semen retention.
I’ve deleted all dating apps and I won’t even give a woman the time of day.
I’m building a community of strong VolCels on here. If you’d like to be part of something bigger, please DM me.
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Something about girls having their auto-capitalization off is so hot.
Like yes my little princess, text me in all lower case with abbreviations while I text you back with proper spelling & grammar.
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Just saw my Trader Joes cashier crush walking with her boyfriend. Good thing I’m already on the way to the gym.
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I kind of have a mullet going. I may run with it.
Mullet & mustache. I’m in my villain era.
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It’s always — “I’m shocked how big your dick is”
and never — “Can I shock your espresso for you?”
😔😔😔
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