Dorian Lynskey
@Dorianlynskey
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Writer. Host of @OhGodWhatNowPod & @OriginStorycast . Author of 33 Revolutions Per Minute, Ministry of Truth, Everything Must Go (2024).
London
Joined April 2009
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My new book is real and out on 11 April. Preorders make a big difference to authors so if it grabs you please consider getting in early via the links below.
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All I want for Christmas is for one terrible person in politics or the media to face some kind of consequences for their actions. Just one. Anyone.
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In the name of God shut up about the fucking war
“We fought in the Second World War. We liberated France, we liberated Belgium. We beat the Germans. And what we got now? Trying to tell us what we can and can’t do."
Former miner Danny Gillespie, who voted Leave, says the situation is "absolutely ridiculous"
#newsnight
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The Brexit MEPs are all the worst people I’ve ever met in my life Frankensteined into a many-headed monster of mediocrity, bigotry and spite. They’re an art installation called Britain Is Shit. A Wetherspoons Bosch.
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Not Santa’s finest moment tbh
Hitler is spending his Christmas Day dining with troops on the Siegfried Line, on the western border with France.
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I doubt myself quite a lot but then I remember that Suella Braverman believes she should be prime minister
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If Boris Johnson were a new candidate instead of PM, and if his racist jokes had been in old tweets uncovered last month instead of in major publications and common knowledge for years, then he would have been deselected and suspended by now.
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The BBC's relentless determination to ask Nigel Farage his opinion on everything is getting on my fucking wick I have to say.
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If all the MPs I want to stay up late to see lose decide instead to quit I won’t be happy. Come back and lose you cowards
After nearly twenty years serving the wonderful people of Surrey Heath and over a decade in Cabinet across five government departments, I have today taken the decision to step down as a Member of Parliament. Read my letter here 👇
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After four years of being told that leave voters knew exactly what they were voting for, you condescending remoaner, I don't know how to feel about financially capsized leave voters queuing up to tell the media that they did not, in fact, know what they were voting for.
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I did not expect the 1975 to make their Youth Against Fascism but it feels good.
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So it takes a footballer and mutinous Tory backbenchers to persuade the great populist Boris Johnson that feeding children is popular. Ah, that common touch.
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Weird shit for a British conservative but totally normal for an American conservative and she’s decided that’s where the money and acclaim are. One of the most grotesquely cynical career moves you could imagine.
Former UK Prime Minister
@trussliz
: “The left are aided and abetted by our enemies overseas. That includes Russia, it includes Iran and most of all, it includes China…they don’t want economic competition, they want to undermine our very way of life, they want to undermine our
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The things conservative intellectuals say
Stop what you're doing, sit down, and read this stunning essay by Joshua Treviño, an American who was just in England.
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Shocked to hear an unpatriotic chap on the radio this morning undermining a British diplomat to curry favour with a foreign leader. Clearly he hates Britain. Didn't catch his name. Nigel something.
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For me Grant Shapps is the totemic figure of 13 years of Tory rule: a profoundly unserious mediocrity who has held eight ministerial roles and made his mark in none of them.
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So it wasn’t really the European Union they hated after all. If only there had been a sign
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Famed epidemiologist Isabel Oakeshott calling SAGE “scientifically illiterate” is just the laugh I needed.
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No electoral humiliation would be big enough for this guy. The politics of the sewer.
BREAKING: Prime Minister Rishi Sunak declines to apologise for transgender jibe despite calls from Brianna Ghey's family
More:
📺 Sky 501, Virgin 602, Freeview 233 and YouTube
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How many white nationalist groups does Farage have to address around the world before the BBC & Sky stop using him as a Brexit pundit?
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If I could reform one UK institution it would be the tabloid press rather than the monarchy. It has a much larger blast radius and the cruelty is the point.
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Found this quote in the transcript of my 2004 George Michael interview. I'm not religious but I'll take this with me into 2017.
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I did not expect to see Putin, Bolsonaro, Trump, Liz Truss, Elon Musk and Mitch McConnell all humiliated in the space of a month but here we are
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And so another vintage day on Dickhead Island draws to a close.
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Graham Linehan is one of the most blatant examples of online radicalisation I've ever seen. He was (as far as I could tell) a funny, well-liked man who became utterly consumed by one cause, which seems to have broken him. (I don't think this process is cause-specific.)
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It’s so dark watching a former children’s author become one of the world’s biggest bullies
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Orwell on fascism, 1936: "If you pretend that it is merely an aberration that will presently pass off of its own accord, you are dreaming a dream from which you will awake when somebody coshes you with a rubber truncheon.”
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“As for the 10,000 ‘private’ schools that England possesses, the vast majority of them deserve nothing except suppression... They merely exist because of a widespread idea that there is something disgraceful in being educated by the public authorities.” - Orwell, 1941
Eton is proud to launch The Orwell Award - a new financial aid programme to support talented Sixth Formers
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All the pictures of anti-fascist protests are beautiful. This is who we are. And I’m not being sentimental. Statistically this is who we really are.
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I suppose the peerage list is quicker and safer than going around the country telling us all individually to go fuck ourselves.
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What a filthy campaign this has been, with most of the filth coming from one direction. Labour's not spotless but you can't really "both sides" this. And to see high-profile journalists carelessly enabling disinformation is a low.
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Find someone who loves you like the Guardian loves cold water swimming.
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Strong "Who's the worst prime minister of all time NOW, motherfucker?" energy.
"I think the government is putting the integrity of the United Kingdom at risk"
Former PM Theresa May says the ministers' willingness to "renege" on parts of the Brexit agreement could result in a loss of trust that could threaten the integrity of the UK
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If the deputy leadership contest were a choice between Burgon and a potato with a face drawn on it, I'd vote for the potato.
Labour’s Richard Burgon is asked to name mistakes in the party’s election campaign
“The mistake we made was being persuaded that people did not quite want to get Brexit done as their top priority”
#politicslive
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The crucial difference is that you're not going to jail for 15 years for writing this.
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Code has been compromised. Switch to woke-signal B. I repeat: Switch to woke-signal B.
Telegraph reader sees "hidden" woke signals in the gait of BBC news presenters
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This is a clever joke because it doesn’t work on multiple levels. Sure it’s unfunny but anyone can do unfunny. Creepy? Not so hard. It takes real craft to make it totally incoherent as well. It achieves pure laugh-annihilating anti-comedy.
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Praise for Piers Morgan suggests that most people don’t in fact have inflexible personal grudges and that if someone ceases to act like an arse they’ll get credit for it. Strikingly, he is an exception and most high-profile arses have simply become bigger arses during this crisis
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She was a follower of Charles Manson and a would-be presidential assassin but she drew the line at Mike Love.
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These guys have really made me rethink my position. I now think Chelsea should be ground to dust and scattered to the four winds.
"We all feel bad for the Ukrainian people, of course we do, but why should we have to suffer when it's nothing to do with us?"
Chelsea fans fume to
@charlotterlynch
about the Abramovich sanctions
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I see Starmer has annoyed the usual suspects by attracting praise for being good at his job, the centrist swine.
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"He made me Home Secretary"
🚨 NEW: Suella Braverman is threatening to release “damning evidence” about Rishi Sunak
[
@hoffman_noa
]
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I know that it's terribly boring, in September 2020, to say that Brexit remains a garbage idea fuelled by incompetence, lies, jingoism and needless destruction, but it hasn't got any better has it?
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“Why didn’t they come forward earlier?” ask men who refuse to believe multiple detailed allegations, extensively reported, against a man who actually joked about this stuff on stage and on air
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Re: Pitchfork, I was told 20 years ago that print would die out but don’t worry, there would be lots of great music journalism online. But most of the great websites have been shut down or gutted and nothing has replaced the magazines. We’ve just ended up with less.
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The Biden story is so depressing. I generally like the guy, he’s achieved some great things, and this is the worst way to go out
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I try not be a grammar pedant but the entirely unnecessary replacement of "you" with "yourself" (cf everyone on The Traitors) seems to have become the norm. The shorter word is right there guys. It worked for centuries.
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Kamala Harris looks like Prince wrote and produced her solo album in 1985 after she played keytar in his live band
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I belong to the “media elite” because I’m a left-wing remainer. However, even if I earned five times more and had a much bigger (some might say elite) platform, I could leave the “media elite” simply by supporting Brexit and Boris Johnson. What a magical category that is.
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Having a meltdown about Starmer when Labour are well ahead by every measure reveals that it's not about getting the Tories out, it's about ego and hurt feelings.
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I'm only 24 pages into Liz Truss's book and I'm already reminded of the quip misattributed to Dorothy Parker: “It is not a book to be lightly thrown aside. It should be thrown with great force.”
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I love the intellectual curiosity of the 1975 and their fans. It's generous, not exclusive - it's about discovering and sharing culture. Reminds me of the young Manics.
Context and information about ‘I Like America and America likes Me’ - Joseph Beuys 1974.
@the1975
@billboard
@jamieoborne
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If you’re feeling down and self-critical, remember at least you’re not the guy who spent weeks crowdfunding and making a crappy balloon of Sadiq Khan that Sadiq Khan doesn’t give a shit about.
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How many times do people need to be told that incitement to violence is not protected speech? This is not a new legal principle, or one specific to the UK.
"Disproportionate judicial activism"
Baroness Claire Fox critiques some of the convictions over online comments during recent rioting.
#Newsnight
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It's ridiculous that the health secretary can't appear on Today to talk about the coronavirus because of the government's petty boycott. What a tawdry, self-indulgent crew.
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Yeah that’s not what witch hunt means. This is like if a single genuine witch held a press conference to tell everyone she’s definitely a witch and she’s not sorry because the spell was reasonable.
The Cummings witch-hunt shows how Coronavirus has finally driven us to the edge of madness > Mail On Sunday >
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Darren Grimes' account/life is pure kitsch. The performative working-class lad routine. The fainting-couch sentimentality. The weepy victim complex. He's barely a real person.
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The Minister for Bullying Trans Kids weighs in
As Minister for Women and Equalities I've done all I can to ensure we have take the heat out of the debate on LGBT issues while being clear about our beliefs and principles.
Keir Starmer’s behaviour today shows Labour are happy to weaponise this issue when it suits them (2/2)
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I’m sorry but this is objectively very funny
BREAKING: Iain Dale tells LBC he has now abandoned his bid to become the Conservative candidate for Tunbridge Wells, after this clip of him telling listeners he 'never liked the place’ and ‘would happily live somewhere else’ was revealed
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I'm endlessly fascinated by the popular reading of The Great Gatsby as the story of a cool rich guy who throws sexy parties and has a great time. It's like basing a river cruise on Heart of Darkness.
The largest home to be built in Britain in 100 years has been inspired by The Great Gatsby
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The childlike moral binary: only people who hold the all correct positions merit empathy or respect.
If you were going to feel sorry for Nick Boles resigning - Don't.
He has consistently:
🚫 Voted for raising tuition fees
🚫 Voted against raising benefits for disabled people
🚫 Voted against higher taxes on the rich.
Bye 🖐️
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I wonder what female MPs on the left and the anti-Brexit centre have to say about the idea that Cummings was so uniquely threatened that he had to flee town and keep his new location secret.
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This is very good and genuine I think. He has a sincere disgust for cruelty
An underrated point by Starmer and one which strikes me as authentic: There are debates that are genuinely difficult to tread. Politicians will not always get it right but their motives matter. Whether mistakes flow from a wish to be kind or from performative cruelty matters. ~AA
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Imagine being seriously ill and having most of the nation behind you despite your colossal errors and then pissing away all that goodwill to defend someone that nobody likes.
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Keir Starmer running rings around angry Brexit grandpa John Humphrys on account of knowing (a) facts and (b) what words mean.
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I hereby retract my Holly Valance crush from 2003
Yah, sure, babe! It was just a natural process of "seeing sense". Marrying a billionaire property developer and Tory donor had absolutely nothing to do with your change of heart.
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Imagine watching a series of former Labour members and staffers talk about being traumatised by antisemitism and then complaining about the music and camera work.
@BBCPanorama
Oh and as for the music and camera work - I've seen less sinister and less hammy framing in Hammer Horror films.
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God the Sunday Times report is absolutely devastating. Johnson could not come out of it looking worse.
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Four types of headline I can't believe I'm still seeing in 2018:
1. Fascists are hip now!
2. A woman "provoked" a man into killing her by not sleeping with him
3. A massacre, but in the passive tense so nobody's to blame
4. Something non-racist happened so racism is over now
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Honestly fuck this show and the people who run it
🚨 NEW: Nigel Farage has just landed in Australia after signing a £1.5 MILLION deal to appear on I'm A Celeb - the highest fee ever paid
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Burgon also wears a suit and nobody thinks he’s electable so I’m going to take a punt and say it’s probably not just that.
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Do people who obsessively hate Meghan Markle realise how mad they look to everyone else? Scrutinising every second of body language like Kevin Costner in JFK. Take a break.
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The writers' room for British politics is full of cocaine and competitive men shouting, "Think that's a twist? This is a fucking twist."
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I do like Twitter when everyone’s making gags about a big national TV event. It’s like old school benign Twitter for a couple of hours
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Boy I’m glad she’s president and not the flying water tanker guy
My heart goes out to Paris. Notre Dame is a symbol of our ability as human beings to unite for a higher purpose—to build breathtaking spaces for worship that no one person could have built on their own. I wish France strength and shared purpose as they grieve and rebuild.
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Jones predicted a Labour landslide on day one, before Farage entered the race, then spent the whole campaign trying to drive down Labour’s vote share and defeat Labour candidates
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Tremendous piece about why and how Musk has wrecked Twitter by
@david_j_roth
. Line after line
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Really cannot wait for the next conservative opinion piece about the threat of “woke mobs”
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Everyone who was already terrible — cranks, conspiracy theorists, Tim Martin, Allison Pearson, Trump — is even worse now, except for Piers Morgan, which is very confusing.
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@JuliaHB1
Or this: "I'm such an entitled arsehole that I can't even wear a mask for a few minutes to go to the shops during a pandemic without whining about it"
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Argentina’s turn to roll the “maybe this right-wing crackpot will fix everything” dice
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I sincerely apologise to anyone who may have been offended by my pronunciation of GIF as JIF on the podcast. Even though this is how the inventor of the GIF says it, I now realise that this is a sensitive subject that has caused great distress. I will be taking time to reflect.
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RIP your fascist wank fantasy
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The left may carp but Boris appeals to every decent patriot’s understandable desire to funnel huge amounts of public money to his mistress and then lie about it.
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I can only conclude that James Melville is like the bus in Speed. Somebody planted a bomb in his head some time ago and if he stops tweeting bad takes for a day it explodes.
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The “Labour didn’t really win” narrative = standard anti-Labour media bias + contrarian pundits + bitter Corbynites + some Labour supporters’ chronic inability to feel good
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I don’t see how the Royal Academy’s decision not to sell Jess de Wahls’ work can be justified or tenable unless every single artist in the shop is subjected to the same criteria.
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If the biggest cheer at your biggest event is one of your leader's closest allies swearing at your deputy leader for addressing racism in your party, then you're probably screwed.
Len McCluskey drew the biggest cheer at the
#Minersgala
when he attacked Labour deputy leader Tom Watson in blunt language to defend Jennie Formby
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I can see a lot of people furiously criticising Israel without being antisemitic and I can also see a bunch of antisemites and it's not hard to tell the difference. It's not such a fine line that one can cross it unwittingly.
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I’ve read a lot of eloquent pieces about why Labour is fucked but there’s a gap in the market for any ideas about how they could unfuck themselves.
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I interviewed Matty Healy of the 1975 for Billboard and he was fascinating
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