Desi
@DesiJed
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America's Sweetheart, co-host of Hollywood Crime Scene.
los angeles
Joined November 2010
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The movie "Yesterday" but Meghan McCain wakes up and no one remembers who her dad is.
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If Sarah Huckabee Sanders says “Live from New York...” in the near future, I will burn this fucking country down.
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I hope they never catch him
A 500-pound black bear has been the source of more than 150 calls between law enforcement and wildlife personnel recently. The Department of Fish and Wildlife says they will euthanize him once they catch him.
Read more >>
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Call me crazy but I think possible treason should be investigated as thoroughly as a blow job.
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Hard to believe a guy who made the tough decision to fire Andrew Dice Clay after he fucked up a cupcake challenge is not handling a pandemic well.
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Considering that Republicans say Obama did nothing in 8 years, sure seems like they're rescinding a lot of things he did.
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Any Postcards From the Edge fan has to darkly appreciate the thunder stealing.
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Good luck writing a headline that makes me laugh more than this.
Chris Christie says President Trump made him order meatloaf when they dined together at the White House this week
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It’s ok to be happy about this and recognize things still fucking suck
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Maybe if we call the deaths of uninsured poor people "late term abortion" Republicans will give a fuck about them?
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me watching a psychological thriller: if something happens to this woman's cat i'm going to fucking lose it.
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Trust me, Democrats could never get it together enough to steal an election.
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I think White House staffers should
#DressLikeAWoman
when Steve Bannon stops dressing like he was arrested for exposing himself in an IHOP.
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I like people who stood up to Trump before they thought he was losing.
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Was searching for a rainbow with a pot of gold cookie cutter for St. Patrick’s Day and um...
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When I saw Tony Meatballs trending, I genuinely thought Trump’s legal team had a new member.
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Let me get this straight, the people who screamed "Lock her up!" for months on end are now complaining about witch hunts?
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FYI: what we're paying so that Melania doesn't have to fuck her husband could fund Meals On Wheels.
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I’ve hated girls like Kyrsten Sinema my whole life. They proudly proclaim their weirdness while being the absolute most basic bitches alive.
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I miss the good old days, when racist, sexist, homophobes knew enough to be ashamed about their beliefs and shut the fuck up about them.
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Am I the only one who worries about gun violence being worse than ever when things start opening up?
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There’s nothing cuter than when a cat puts its paw under a door looking for a secret latch.
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The In-N-Out order taker just said “Hello again.” to me and I have never felt more owned.
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I got your dad an edible arrangement for father’s day.
*points to pussy
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So Barron Trump doesn't have to be uncomfortable switching schools,but fuck trans kids' right to be comfortable in their schools? FUCK TRUMP
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Me: astrology is not real
Also me: this is horseshit I’m obviously a baked potato
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When will the press realize ratings will soar when they start telling the truth about Trump. We crave it and he'll tweet about it non stop.
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I love when people are like ‘that’s a violation of the Hatch Act’ like anything fucking matters anymore.
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Guys who are baffled by how Pete Davidson keeps landing babes despite being average looking like them are so close to getting that their personality is actually the problem.
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Whenever Trump takes 9 minutes to tweet the second half of a two part tweet, I like to imagine someone's trying to pry his phone from him.
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The key thing to remember is it kills Trump that all the cool and talented people hate his fucking guts. He would run his supporters down with his limo if DeNiro invited him to dinner and they were in the way.
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Spoiler Alert: this ends fucking terribly.
If the choice is Macron or Le Pen, many leftist supporters would rather not vote at all
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I grew up in a family that used food stamps and I got free lunch at school. I regret being ashamed of this. The people who should be ashamed are the ones who seem to criminalize poverty and use it as a divisive political issue.
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What a way to find out Popeye was on Twitter
Today we remembersk those who served and did not makes it home. Thank ya fer yer sacrifice.
#memorialday2021
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the fact that she left the e out of Berkeley is too fucking priceless
It’s Greene with an “e” on the end.
Don’t know you, but when I saw Berkley in your bio, I got it. Just put the hammer and sickle with it.
Being a communists professor, you’ve never done the real hard work that builds the economy, you just teach ideas that will destroy it.
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Issac Asimov nails what a million 'Trump voter' think pieces can't in just a few sentences.
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Saying Nancy Reagan blew everyone in Hollywood is not slut-shaming, it’s finding one nice thing to say about an absolute trash goblin.
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Legalize drugs and make them safe.
Also stop treating addicts like their lives are worthless.
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Is this the first time an incumbent has run on the message to re-elect them so they can fix everything that’s wrong while they are currently President?
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If you aren’t enjoying the destruction of Alex Jones we probably have nothing in common.
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Fun Fact: Defending Bill Cosby is way more embarrassing than liking fingers in your ass.
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The only way Leo would be unrecognizable is if he was with a woman his age.
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I respect that Ellen quit when she could no longer be mean. Her heart just wasn’t in it anymore.
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I love how we have to build a wall that costs billions because some Americans were killed by immigrants but nothing can be done for all of the death by gun violence via American citizens.
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@realDonaldTrump
Have you apologized for demanding the death penalty for the innocent Central Park Five, dumb bitch?
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Defunding Planned Parenthood isn't about stopping abortions since govt. doesn't pay for that,it's about controlling women & their sexuality.
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Why don't women report? Because a man who brags about sexual assault just got elected President.
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Republicans only think kids are adults if the police shoot them or Matt Gaetz fucks them.
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We pay millions so Barron Trump doesn't have to disrupt his school year while Flint still doesn't have clean drinking water, great country.
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What’s the inverse of imposter syndrome?
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nothing more infuriating than a movie I want to watch not being on one of my 15 fucking streaming services.
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Please stop we all hate you
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