Why the fuck can't I find the lemonade powder at Walmart?

Why is there not a dating service called "LunchMeat?"

@SlackHQ Too real?

@SlackHQ The only reason there's a market for mouse jigglers. The anxiety-inducing, unrealistic-expectation-setting, attention-span-shortening, useless status-indicating green dots next to names. It's bad for the world. Drop this feature.

So yeah, despite my name plastered all over their cups, I do not endorse.

@AmanpourCoPBS @mcuban @WalterIsaacson But the China comments might be kinda fear-mongering. To think that ANY human would withhold such a thing now might be kinda paranoid.

@realDonaldTrump You're a retard!

@jacksantucci Covid to the rescue!

@ucci #okboomer !

@ucci LOL

@ucci G/d 2024 dawg

@ucci Pasta primavera eh madonne!

@ScottSowers Do you even lift, bro?

@elonmusk Meh? Equalize the grip? Don't give your own product a head start? Marketing ploy city.

Cumin is the secret to meatloaf.

Try to NOT eat pasta after reading Strega Nona. Impossible. #streganona

Wow.