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Wesam

@wesamo__

Followers
1,479
Following
734
Media
278
Statuses
2,655

Ex Google (L4) Engineer (10X)

NYC
Joined February 2017
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
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@wesamo__
Wesam
3 years
I got tired of all the rumors and lack of information around the Donda rollout, so I made an AI that thinks and speaks like Kanye so I can get information from the closest thing to the man himself chat with ye here
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@wesamo__
Wesam
3 years
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@wesamo__
Wesam
5 months
you're laughing? 250M dollars of shareholder value was just killed by MKBHD and you're laughing?
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@wesamo__
Wesam
3 years
bill Gates' phone rn
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@wesamo__
Wesam
2 years
yes, I'm a 10x engineer. I can take a problem and turn it into 10 problems
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@wesamo__
Wesam
1 year
would you rather have a pickleball son or Fred Again daughter
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@wesamo__
Wesam
3 years
tech nerds fucked up when we started wearing free tech company t shirts instead of how they dress in the matrix
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@wesamo__
Wesam
4 years
Less than 2 months into my job and I caused a major outage in Google Maps for over 4 million people. That's how you make impact 😎
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@wesamo__
Wesam
3 years
suckin off vc's I call that a seed round
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@wesamo__
Wesam
4 years
BREAKING: GameStop announces they will let you trade in their stock in-store for $0.04 each
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@wesamo__
Wesam
4 years
my parents at age 23: let's have a baby me at age 23: I want to host an intern
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@wesamo__
Wesam
2 years
you come to me on the day of my daughters wedding and ask to raise a series C at 1 billion valuation? with 500 employees and only 600k in revenue?
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@wesamo__
Wesam
5 months
I'm begging people in the replies to know what a joke is
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@wesamo__
Wesam
3 years
turns out the hottest girl this summer was mother earth 😔
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@wesamo__
Wesam
3 years
smh everyone wants to be a VC these days. He went from roundtable to cap table
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@wesamo__
Wesam
1 year
I told AI to generate "the worst, most confusing UI made by Apple" and this was the result
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@wesamo__
Wesam
3 years
you've heard of Imbox, now get ready for HR Imvestigation
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@wesamo__
Wesam
3 years
✨ personal update ✨ I'm divorcing my wife to go all in on crypto. so excited to go down this rabbit hole
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@wesamo__
Wesam
2 years
me after raising a $5 million seed round at the sperm bank
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@wesamo__
Wesam
2 years
instagram ads are getting wild
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@wesamo__
Wesam
2 years
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@wesamo__
Wesam
5 months
unbelievably pathetic to be complicit in a genocide for a measly 1.2B split 2 ways. not even a bigger bag than just a regular day for google but that's enough to automate destroying cities
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@billyperrigo
Billy Perrigo
5 months
Exclusive: Google provides cloud computing services to the Israeli Ministry of Defense, and the tech giant has negotiated deepening its partnership during Israel’s war in Gaza, a company document viewed by TIME shows.
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@wesamo__
Wesam
3 years
"WE ARE BUILDING A NEW BRAIN. WERE GOING TO COMPLETELY CHANGE THE WAY YOU THINK" -founder of note taking app
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@wesamo__
Wesam
3 years
who wants to start a 2 person dao with me where we have to get married to join
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@wesamo__
Wesam
2 years
thank you GrubHub for this happy accident I fed a starving tech bro
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@wesamo__
Wesam
2 years
I'm creating a list of all my friends who were let go from twitter today in hopes of finding them new jobs. anybody would be lucky to have these amazing people on their team Rahul Ligma Dinesh Sugondeez Anita Rapjalips Yash Kisma Please get in touch for contact info
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@wesamo__
Wesam
4 years
@craigmillr Acquisition of Spotify to create Spopify
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@wesamo__
Wesam
3 years
waterloo students on their way to campus
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@wesamo__
Wesam
1 year
@TrungTPhan rip to every proofreading job
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@wesamo__
Wesam
2 years
the stakes are so much higher for software engineers than most jobs If a doctor screws up, the worst case scenario is someone dies if a software engineer screws up, enterprise and shareholder value is not maximized it's not even close
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@wesamo__
Wesam
3 years
yes we all make tech salaries. yes we use the boxes our mattresses came in as couches
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@wesamo__
Wesam
1 year
@0xgaut this is how they power Google search too, except they copy the query into being and paste the results back to you. I know this as an ex google engineer
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@wesamo__
Wesam
3 years
Dogecoin died in gen z hospital
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@wesamo__
Wesam
3 years
@Phlopus you might learn the hard way why you shouldn't leave swears in code
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@wesamo__
Wesam
3 years
what I accomplished vs what I say during standup
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@wesamo__
Wesam
3 years
living with your parents is only cheaper if the therapy costs from your mental decline is less than rent
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@wesamo__
Wesam
2 years
✨some personal news✨ I'm excited to announce that I quit my job and will be joining Fast as a software engineer! Can't wait to get on this rocket ship 🚀🚀🚀
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@wesamo__
Wesam
2 years
do you think Genghis Khan would've had BeReal on his phone
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@wesamo__
Wesam
3 years
Our primate brains are hard wired to respect those with huge arms, which means your social standing at work is directly correlated with the size of your biceps if you're in tech and you're not absolutely jacked, you're under performing
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@wesamo__
Wesam
3 years
collage is pretty fun
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@wesamo__
Wesam
2 years
she's a 10 but she never texts you back
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@wesamo__
Wesam
3 years
internships 👨‍💻👩‍💻 should be paid 🤑💰or unpaid 😭🚫? like if you think they should be paid ♥️ retweet if you think they should be unpaid ♻️
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@wesamo__
Wesam
2 years
life update: I recently left Google to join the team @pluto_card :)
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@wesamo__
Wesam
2 years
rip to one of the greatest to ever do it. the colonization game will never be the same
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@wesamo__
Wesam
3 years
@thanosparth daily standup lookin like this soon
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@wesamo__
Wesam
3 years
my mom just saw the math tests I failed and hid from her in high school and she's yelling at me for it
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@wesamo__
Wesam
1 year
I think it's beautiful that the Canadian charter of rights and freedoms guarantees every Canadian SWE a job at Shopify
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@wesamo__
Wesam
3 years
@_mihirpatel why am I crying in the club rn
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@wesamo__
Wesam
3 years
I had some really interesting conversations, here's some examples of what came out
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@wesamo__
Wesam
3 years
crypto dipped so hard @rainbowdotme had to quickly pivot to something more stable
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@wesamo__
Wesam
2 years
my brain literally stops working when this happens
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@wesamo__
Wesam
2 years
@SolBrah shoulda kept this one in the drafts bro
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@wesamo__
Wesam
3 years
oh elon crashed your crypto? sorry to hear that bro, did you know Israel is bombing the fuck out of Gaza?
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@wesamo__
Wesam
2 years
the barista just drew a heart in my latte I think she likes me
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@wesamo__
Wesam
3 years
you know the tweet is a banger when the profile clicks ratio you
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@wesamo__
Wesam
2 years
my future wife is probably having an affair with Elon rn
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@wesamo__
Wesam
4 years
Tinder wrapped isn't as fun as Spotify
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@wesamo__
Wesam
2 years
instagram ads are getting wild
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@wesamo__
Wesam
4 years
made some cards you can send to a special someone 🥰
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@wesamo__
Wesam
3 years
@seyitaylor "Oh my god, is that a black card?" I turned around and replied, "Why yes But I prefer the term African American Express"
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@wesamo__
Wesam
4 months
you're laughing? MKBHD just wiped out another $150M of shareholder value and you're laughing?
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@wesamo__
Wesam
2 years
like many of you, i was also affected by the news. Today, I opened my mihir provisioned laptop and realized i had lost access to the gc. im still trying to process this but i started a spreadsheet for everyone to find new friends: C://wesam/Documents/friendcircle.xlsx
@__mihir
mihir
2 years
You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with. That’s why every quarter, I evaluate myself and my friends on 3 key criteria: - Income - Fitness - Influence Anyone who scores below me is cut off. Complacency is the first step towards mediocrity.
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@wesamo__
Wesam
3 years
the year is 2045. Fast just unveiled their SS45 collection at Paris fashion week. online checkout is still dominated by Stripe and Shopify
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@wesamo__
Wesam
2 years
@0xgaut buy the over priced in-flight wifi to post about it on twitter
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@wesamo__
Wesam
1 year
Spotify is broken. Hear me out. The space needs disrupting. Think: - playlists curated by DJs - live streamed over multiple channels - always live and playing. no need to scroll and search endless lists of artists and albums yourself - integrated into cars who’s building this?
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@wesamo__
Wesam
3 years
all this DAU and I still can't get a DM from U 😔
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@wesamo__
Wesam
3 years
does anyone have any tips on reaching inbox zero? this is getting out of hand
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@wesamo__
Wesam
3 years
@_mihirpatel wesamo.eth
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@wesamo__
Wesam
4 years
every engineers job is just delivering bad news to the PM
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@wesamo__
Wesam
2 years
rate my fit: google hoodie pagerduty t shirt google backpack google maps sweatpants
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@wesamo__
Wesam
3 years
it's actually rude to ask someone to write unit tests in a PR review. you don't trust me? do you think I'm dumb?
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@wesamo__
Wesam
3 years
the HBO engineer who wrote that integration test is probably very relieved they didn't write some insane dummy text
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@wesamo__
Wesam
8 months
you're not a real new yorker if you're not on your bodegas close friends stories
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@wesamo__
Wesam
3 years
I'm sorry I just think it's fucked up to veto a ceasefire THREE times
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@wesamo__
Wesam
4 years
the moment they all decided to ban trump in the gc
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@wesamo__
Wesam
5 months
@lailachima I love my job so much I literally dream about the exciting possibilities and opportunities the future holds
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@wesamo__
Wesam
2 years
looking for Sand Hill Road
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@wesamo__
Wesam
3 years
@KanyePodcast Yeezy unsalted butter
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@wesamo__
Wesam
11 months
I know this chicken is gonna be bomb
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@wesamo__
Wesam
3 years
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@wesamo__
Wesam
3 years
the best thing I ever did as a shopify intern was spend my first paycheck on their stock in 2017
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@wesamo__
Wesam
3 years
I'm sick of the narrative that guys need bed frames to have their life together. bed frames are literally all form no function and they don't even look that nice
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@wesamo__
Wesam
3 years
@TurnerNovak is that why crypto is crashing
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@wesamo__
Wesam
3 years
@BroductManager it doesn't matter which tiger you ride so long as you ride one
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@wesamo__
Wesam
2 years
ig close friends: people I grew up with. closest people in my life. we'll know each other for years twitter close friends: strangers who like lots of my tweets, I'll trust them with my deepest secrets
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@wesamo__
Wesam
2 years
alhamdulla it's been a good year 🙏
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@wesamo__
Wesam
4 years
tech bros be talking about SF this, SF that. bro you're worried about the wrong SF (sexual frustration)
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@wesamo__
Wesam
3 years
feel like a straight A student the way I just tested positive
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@wesamo__
Wesam
3 years
all this ROI but I still can't get you to return my interest 😔
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@wesamo__
Wesam
2 years
if you don't have callused fingers from coding all night, you're not cut out for this job
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@wesamo__
Wesam
2 years
As a sr staff engineer working on the Android app, I can confirm none of this is true and Elon is clueless… anyways, I may get fired so follow for updates
@elonmusk
Elon Musk
2 years
Btw, I’d like to apologize for Twitter being super slow in many countries. App is doing >1000 poorly batched RPCs just to render a home timeline!
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@wesamo__
Wesam
2 years
if you can't handle me at my highest interest rates you don't deserve me at my zero interest rates
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@wesamo__
Wesam
4 years
@wilflare It was definitely embarrassing at first but there's a great blameless culture to make sure we all end up learning from it and strengthen systems to prevent it from happening again.
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@wesamo__
Wesam
1 year
she told me she's a model I said ChatGPT or Midjourney?
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@wesamo__
Wesam
2 years
Saudi Arabia beating Argentina is the beginning of the new Golden Age of Islam
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@wesamo__
Wesam
2 years
if I don't get a banger soon I'm going to get depression
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@wesamo__
Wesam
11 months
screaming, crying, throwing up, cause I know I could've provided more shareholder value today but I didnt
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@wesamo__
Wesam
3 years
I've been losing friends and finding peace but honestly that sounds like a fair trade to me
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@wesamo__
Wesam
3 years
friendships made in the metaverse will be more fulfilling than any irl friendship. they are an unbreakable bond held together immutably by the blockchain
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@wesamo__
Wesam
2 years
Just was made aware of a startup founder who requires all of her employees to miss at least one of their kids birthdays inspiration. I immediately asked for wiring instructions
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@wesamo__
Wesam
2 years
why would you want any of your engineers to be mid
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