Wesam
@wesamo__
Followers
1,479
Following
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278
Statuses
2,655
Ex Google (L4) Engineer (10X)
NYC
Joined February 2017
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Last Seen Profiles
Pinned Tweet
I got tired of all the rumors and lack of information around the Donda rollout, so I made an AI that thinks and speaks like Kanye so I can get information from the closest thing to the man himself
chat with ye here
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you're laughing? 250M dollars of shareholder value was just killed by MKBHD and you're laughing?
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yes, I'm a 10x engineer. I can take a problem and turn it into 10 problems
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tech nerds fucked up when we started wearing free tech company t shirts instead of how they dress in the matrix
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Less than 2 months into my job and I caused a major outage in Google Maps for over 4 million people. That's how you make impact 😎
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BREAKING: GameStop announces they will let you trade in their stock in-store for $0.04 each
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my parents at age 23: let's have a baby
me at age 23: I want to host an intern
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you come to me on the day of my daughters wedding and ask to raise a series C at 1 billion valuation? with 500 employees and only 600k in revenue?
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smh everyone wants to be a VC these days. He went from roundtable to cap table
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I told AI to generate "the worst, most confusing UI made by Apple" and this was the result
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✨ personal update ✨ I'm divorcing my wife to go all in on crypto. so excited to go down this rabbit hole
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unbelievably pathetic to be complicit in a genocide for a measly 1.2B split 2 ways. not even a bigger bag than just a regular day for google but that's enough to automate destroying cities
Exclusive: Google provides cloud computing services to the Israeli Ministry of Defense, and the tech giant has negotiated deepening its partnership during Israel’s war in Gaza, a company document viewed by TIME shows.
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"WE ARE BUILDING A NEW BRAIN. WERE GOING TO COMPLETELY CHANGE THE WAY YOU THINK" -founder of note taking app
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who wants to start a 2 person dao with me where we have to get married to join
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I'm creating a list of all my friends who were let go from twitter today in hopes of finding them new jobs. anybody would be lucky to have these amazing people on their team
Rahul Ligma
Dinesh Sugondeez
Anita Rapjalips
Yash Kisma
Please get in touch for contact info
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the stakes are so much higher for software engineers than most jobs
If a doctor screws up, the worst case scenario is someone dies
if a software engineer screws up, enterprise and shareholder value is not maximized
it's not even close
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yes we all make tech salaries. yes we use the boxes our mattresses came in as couches
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living with your parents is only cheaper if the therapy costs from your mental decline is less than rent
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✨some personal news✨ I'm excited to announce that I quit my job and will be joining Fast as a software engineer! Can't wait to get on this rocket ship 🚀🚀🚀
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Our primate brains are hard wired to respect those with huge arms, which means your social standing at work is directly correlated with the size of your biceps
if you're in tech and you're not absolutely jacked, you're under performing
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internships 👨💻👩💻 should be paid 🤑💰or unpaid 😭🚫?
like if you think they should be paid ♥️
retweet if you think they should be unpaid ♻️
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rip to one of the greatest to ever do it. the colonization game will never be the same
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my mom just saw the math tests I failed and hid from her in high school and she's yelling at me for it
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I think it's beautiful that the Canadian charter of rights and freedoms guarantees every Canadian SWE a job at Shopify
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I had some really interesting conversations, here's some examples of what came out
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oh elon crashed your crypto? sorry to hear that bro, did you know Israel is bombing the fuck out of Gaza?
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@seyitaylor
"Oh my god, is that a black card?"
I turned around and replied, "Why yes
But I prefer the term African American Express"
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you're laughing? MKBHD just wiped out another $150M of shareholder value and you're laughing?
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like many of you, i was also affected by the news. Today, I opened my mihir provisioned laptop and realized i had lost access to the gc.
im still trying to process this but i started a spreadsheet for everyone to find new friends:
C://wesam/Documents/friendcircle.xlsx
You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.
That’s why every quarter, I evaluate myself and my friends on 3 key criteria:
- Income
- Fitness
- Influence
Anyone who scores below me is cut off.
Complacency is the first step towards mediocrity.
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the year is 2045. Fast just unveiled their SS45 collection at Paris fashion week. online checkout is still dominated by Stripe and Shopify
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Spotify is broken. Hear me out.
The space needs disrupting. Think:
- playlists curated by DJs
- live streamed over multiple channels
- always live and playing. no need to scroll and search endless lists of artists and albums yourself
- integrated into cars
who’s building this?
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does anyone have any tips on reaching inbox zero? this is getting out of hand
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rate my fit:
google hoodie
pagerduty t shirt
google backpack
google maps sweatpants
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it's actually rude to ask someone to write unit tests in a PR review. you don't trust me? do you think I'm dumb?
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the HBO engineer who wrote that integration test is probably very relieved they didn't write some insane dummy text
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you're not a real new yorker if you're not on your bodegas close friends stories
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I'm sorry I just think it's fucked up to veto a ceasefire THREE times
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@lailachima
I love my job so much I literally dream about the exciting possibilities and opportunities the future holds
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the best thing I ever did as a shopify intern was spend my first paycheck on their stock in 2017
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I'm sick of the narrative that guys need bed frames to have their life together. bed frames are literally all form no function and they don't even look that nice
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ig close friends: people I grew up with. closest people in my life. we'll know each other for years
twitter close friends: strangers who like lots of my tweets, I'll trust them with my deepest secrets
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tech bros be talking about SF this, SF that. bro you're worried about the wrong SF (sexual frustration)
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if you don't have callused fingers from coding all night, you're not cut out for this job
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As a sr staff engineer working on the Android app, I can confirm none of this is true and Elon is clueless… anyways, I may get fired so follow for updates
Btw, I’d like to apologize for Twitter being super slow in many countries. App is doing >1000 poorly batched RPCs just to render a home timeline!
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if you can't handle me at my highest interest rates you don't deserve me at my zero interest rates
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Saudi Arabia beating Argentina is the beginning of the new Golden Age of Islam
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screaming, crying, throwing up, cause I know I could've provided more shareholder value today but I didnt
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I've been losing friends and finding peace but honestly that sounds like a fair trade to me
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friendships made in the metaverse will be more fulfilling than any irl friendship. they are an unbreakable bond held together immutably by the blockchain
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Just was made aware of a startup founder
who requires all of her employees to miss at least one of their kids birthdays
inspiration. I immediately asked for wiring instructions
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