HACK.XXX
@hackdotxxx
Followers
3,617
Following
4
Media
705
Statuses
1,974
Products for Cynical Living and Wearable Shitposts.
Los Angeles, CA (also at https://www.hackdotxxx.com)
Joined August 2018
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We are super psyched to announce our collaboration with
@hacks4pancakes
, for her new gin flavored maple syrup!!
Check it out:
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We are pleased to announce that Katelyn Bowden (
@medus4_cdc
) is joining our design and marketing team!
Expect to see some new badass and awesome designs on our site soon!
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“The more you tweet at me, the more I can trace your IP”
Our favorite threat from THAT Infosec “expert”
Embrace the bullshit with Zip up hoodies and tees
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Because there’s no shame in low cut tanks, especially when you’re a microceleb in a niche field
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Hey we made some cool
#hackerssuck
merch
Telesystem doesn’t fuck
Snap a picture of your favorite
#HackersSuck
merchandise and drop it in the comments below. Let's make this fun and interactive!
Visit to browse through the swag we have available!
#CyberSecurity
#ITsAboutTrust
#TrustTelesystem
#HackersSuck
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Thinking about making some sweet hacker/tech themed heels and skirts because we fancy like that.
Would anyone be interested in stuff like that?
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Going to
@defcon
? We are!
Look for our staff, and get some of our sweet stickers featuring saint Dil of Dog
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We are very excited to announce our move into pharmaceutical grade gas station sex pills!
This is the first of many new products we are psyched to debut today
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Apparently we can’t post links to the hack xxx store anymore.
Can y’all do us a favor and like this if you see it? We’re trying to figure out whether or not it’s still worth it to be on twitter
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New cDc blankets are warm and fuzzy,
Just like
@DethVeggie
Get yours (deth veggie not included)
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You didn't seriously think we'd pass on the opportunity to monetize a disaster, did you?
live
laugh
log4shell
Long Sleeve Shirt:
Damn Good Hoodie:
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Finally, a way we can all snuggle with our favorite hacking samurai,
@johnjhacking
This body pillow is the best way to get Sempai to notice you, and it’s been given a 10/10 Ochoa rating by
@0x686967
for maximum cuddleability
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Life sucks.
The world is dying.
The future is bleak.
Might as well wear some comfy tee shirts.
“Nihilism, but make it cute” collection just dropped
get yours here
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It’s winter, why wear a swimsuit?
BECAUSE YOU CAN
Fuck the norm. Be you.
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You know those days where you just wanna say “fuck everything”?!
we have shirts for that
The “fuck everything” collection just dropped
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For Infosec PROFESSIONALS only, you degenerate hackers can stay at defcon.
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Since April fools is ending, we will stop promoting all of our ridiculous fake promotions. Thanks to
@hacks4pancakes
,
@Coleens_
,
@DethVeggie
and
@johnjhacking
for playing along for an amazing cause-
All the “product” links led to a page urging people to donate to
@TrevorProject
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Since we have been dabbling in over-the-counter medications of questionable efficacy,
@dildog
wanted to try his hand at making an all-purpose analgesic for your anus.
#bo2k
#cultofthedeadcow
#infosec
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Order a pound or two of
@DethVeggie
beyond impossible mystery meat!
“I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S NOT MEAT!*"
(* may contain up to 100% meat)
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We heard you like Stan Lee tumblers so we made you a Stan Lee tumbler, nerds
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Cybersecurity, Infosec and hacking shouldn’t be a circlejerk. Don’t gatekeep.
Instead, spread those gates wide open like a massive goatse that envelopes all.
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Yeah, telesystem doesn’t fuck.
Hackersfuck
Glad you got a laugh from the shirts though.
When we set out to launch and brand our cybersecurity product set, we aimed for the center of the bullseye.
When we use the word ‘hacker,’ we’re referring to the black-hat hacker that seeks to destroy identities, ruin lives, destabilize economies, and take down organizations.
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Who needs rainforests when we have non-fungible furry pictures?
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Today’s the day! Make some lasagna, hate mondays, and praise SG
Feel free to share your sexy Garfield art
#sexygarfieldday
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Relevant more than ever
(Portion of proceeds goes toward planned parenthood. Fuck, we gonna donate even if no one buys one. Because this is some barbecued baptist bullshit.)
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And there's a 'seasonal holiday pog' for your 'festive shrub' this season to commemorate this wonderous occasion.
it's made of real wood and tears
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We were going to publish this shirt a month ago but we kept putting it off.
No shame. You can get it now.
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It brings us joy to see folks using the Easter egg hidden discount code on our website.
There should be more rewards for curiosity, not situations like what is happening in Missouri.
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“Look at us, we’re
@malcoreio
, look how edgy and hip we are, using the same joke over and over!”
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Whoa, whole lotta folks just discovering we exist!!
Check out our 31337 hacker gear, as well as all our other strange threads for distinguished weirdos!
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It’s Wednesday.
Not THAT Wednesday.
But fuck it, marketing is hard.
Go buy our shit
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Represent your favorite cult with leggings, shoes, shirts and more!
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Having issues with your LAST password manager?
Get one of ours! They're air-gapped and handwriting-enabled!
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Our country is devolving into sexual anarchy and this needs to be celebrated
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Beef squashed.
@Malcoreio
and HackDotXXX can agree, this guy sucks
Anyway, new collab just dropped
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This is a really nice thing to do.
We 🧡
@Malcoreio
Our beef with
@hackdotxxx
is squashed. We have decided to collab and leave up the current merch for awhile.
20% of ALL profits from sales for the next 14 days will go to
@VeilidNetwork
.
It was a fun day, you guys decide who gets the tattoo
Merch:
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Feel free to film porn wearing our clothing. Hell, we would promote that content
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Patience is a virtue.
Fuck that.
Sneak peek at one of the new designs and styles coming soon to
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There MIGHT be an Easter egg on somewhere that might lead to secret discount code.
You may want to fuck around and find it
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Hey, we created an Instagram. Which means we have to do shit like have “content” or whatever.
If you have a pic of yourself wearing sweet hackxxx gear and don’t mind us sharing it on Instagram, can you reply with the pic? I’ll even send you stickers if you want
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This hardcover journal will make strangers on the bus look at you differently while reading it
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Yess they rock
Ahh I love our
@hackdotxxx
sports bras!!
I’m not interested in being polite or heterosexual.
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Roses are red,
You like to pick locks
“Hey not to be weird,
But that skirt really rocks”
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We will, however, still be bringing you the sexy Garfield content that you’ve come to expect from us.
However, we will only post images that our bank has specifically approved
Ps- Joe W from Chase, please check your email
Kisses!
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For all those criminals hitting f12 out there, these are for you
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Black Edition is now available as well!
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Let that ass say what your soul cannot.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH���
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As far as File scanning goes,
@Malcoreio
might be aight.
But saying that they’re good at making merch is quite a stretch.
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