Patron Saint Of Tits
@aGlitterTree
Followers
1,634
Following
914
Media
3,002
Statuses
49,951
Abby, she/they, aggressively pink, demi & poly, 29, s€x witch, genius bimbo, alt: @apinkglitter tweetin for the bitches who charge their tits in the moonlight
gay town usa
Joined April 2013
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Pinned Tweet
thinking about the time someone tweeted "what's your least favorite sign" and i responded with this image not realizing they meant astrological sign 🤦🏼♀️
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cw: sad
my coworker has always been the queen of Christmas cookies. she passed away a week ago and we've been lost without her. yesterday, her husband came in and brought us plates of cookies that she made early and froze for us. i'm full of love and grief
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if you've ever taken a stimulant and then fallen asleep you have adhd
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autistic bitches be like "sorry if i was being weird earlier, my sock was inside out and i couldn't think"
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@SassyMetisChick
hi i have adhd and wrote this JOKE after taking my prescribed meds and falling asleep for three hours. it's literally not that deep.
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@kyliejustine
see, my coworker just left and her two weeks notice was apparently not enough notice??? so what do y'all want from us??????
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@andromeda3083
she was mad about how expensive butter was getting so she made a lot of her cookies early this year. she knew she was sick and that she wouldn't have the energy for her usual 8-12 varieties in December. she was endlessly thoughtful and forever prepared.
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the best marriage advice i can give is to invest in a king sized bed
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my therapist told me that being able to intelectualize my emotions is not the same thing as feeling them and i'm still mad about it
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@ninahartman14
definitely depends on the situation but "paradoxical side effects" is the exact phrase i've been looking for so THANK YOU
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evangelicals will traumatize you for twenty years straight and then when you decide you're not putting up with it anymore will hit you with that "well i guess we can't have a reasonable discussion about this"
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as a neurodivergent adult, by 30 you should have:
1. a seam ripper for removing itchy tags from clothing
2. noise canceling headphones
3. a very specific favorite pen
4. a bin full of supplies for a hobby you now hate
what did i miss?
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@miIkandcoffee
if you claim to be sex positive but don't support sex worker rights then you're not sex positive
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@postgrad_barty
thank god trashy 19-year-old me was being responsible and thinking about her future immunity
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@ChrstineWarren
"paradoxical side effects" is what i saw someone call it and i'm absolutely the same way. anything "non-drowsy" knocks me tf out
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INTERMITTENT FASTING IS DISORDERED EATING
INTERMITTENT FASTING IS DISORDERED EATING
INTERMITTENT FASTING IS DISORDERED EATING
INTERMITTENT FASTING IS DISORDERED EATING
INTERMITTENT FASTING IS DISORDERED EATING
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i used to think polyamorous people had a super power that i just didn't possess, now i understand that they're just people willing to look their jealousy and insecurity in the eyes with compassion and curiosity instead of shame and honestly? that's way more badass.
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@plutosrose1
@fenieist
this is horrible but what an excellent line by your father and some great vindication for you
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mentioned to one of my cishet friends that he needed a trashcan in his bathroom cuz i'm not putting a pad in his kitchen trash and the next time i was over there was a trashcan as well as a basket of tampons, pads, and wipes on the back of the toilet and that is allyship
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my sock WAS inside out and i was DEFINITELY being weird
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the Proverbs 31 woman to astrology bitch pipeline
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@Tiffytoes
that's WILD. i've tried so many things to deal with my crazy dreams and it's so hard!!! i'm glad you found something that works for you and a doc that trusts you!!!!!
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when i say "i'm praying for you" i mean i'm praying for you to win the lottery and have the best sex of your life this week, just so we're all clear
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@justsayessence
she's absolutely stunning and i'm glad Nick was there to cheer her on. she's a princess today and every day 💕
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@fIowerfemme
what variety is this??? they're beautiful!!!! i grew these absurdly pretty beans and i love them
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it would seem that there's some demisexual slander and acephobic rhetoric on the tl today so i'm dropping in to let you know that people on the ace spectrum exist and our experiences might look similar or different from yours but that doesn't make us less valid
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tiramisu has espresso in it so it is a breakfast food
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garlic naan has done more to get me through this panorama than the US government
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evangelical parents would rather their kids get a divorce than have pre-marital sex
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some of my queer friends had a "genital reveal party" for their unborn baby and????? how is this less weird than a gender reveal?????
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idk man i just really wish my parents weren't still in the cult that nearly killed me
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@dieworkwear
today we found out that you're hot AND funny? the worst dressed men will really post a photo of a Dapper dude and say "omg can you believe" like yea, Gavin, he looks fly as hell, hush forever!
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i think not nearly enough christians understand that praying is essentially casting a spell
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@sweatyhairy
These are like five bucks and will keep your toilet sparkling clean with zero effort from you and you can't even see them cuz they go in the back of the tank.
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@forgot_piece
first thing when i wake up, quickie in the afternoon or right when i get home from work, maybe slow and romantic in the evening before bed. i'm a twice a day girl no DOUBT
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my therapist: "you're allowed to keep shaming yourself, if you want. it just doesn't seem like that's helping you."
cool Dianna, do you ever get tired of being right?
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i stopped drinking two years ago so anytime i go to a bar i ask for "a Shirley Temple with as many cherries as you're willing to give me" and the best i've ever gotten was 11 cherries and the worst was 0
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can't stop thinking about how the purity talk in my youth group was called "The Urge to Merge"
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woke up furious about this m*tthew w*st song so here's my single thought: i was taught that men would undress me with their eyes no matter what i was wearing so no, i don't think i will be wearing a turtleneck in June. i'm done taking fashion & relationship advice from christians
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i spent hundreds of dollars trying to get dxed with adhd only for the proctor to tell me she'd never seen anyone so good at the memory tasks and for the doctor to write a letter saying "patient reports all of the diagnosable symptoms but seems too well adjusted for diagnosis"
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the only binary i believe in is that everyone is either a triscuit or a wheat thins person and i just want to go on the record saying that wheat thins people are wrong
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today i was diagnosed with Ehlers-Danlos syndrome (EDS) and am re-starting physical therapy for the first time in a decade. these are some giant steps for me, please clap
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for lent i'm giving up the need to make the religious people in my life comfortable in any way, shape, or form
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"can i kiss you?" is hot as fuck and anyone who thinks otherwise isn't worth kissing tbh
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HAPPY PRIDE BEING WITH A MAN DOESN'T MAKE ME STRAIGHT
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full offense y'all but look at my FUCKING WIFE 👀
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THIS BITCH HAS BEEN OFFICIALLY DIAGNOSED WITH ADHD
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me turning every biblical reference my dad makes into a point about paganism:
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it is my beautiful wife's birthday, look how stunning she is!!!!! your joy is my favorite color and you love is my most cherished gift 💖
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what cis parents of trans kids need to understand is that they are not grieving the death of their daughter/son, they're grieving the death of their gendered expectations for their child. that is valid pain but that's for them to work on, not put on their child.
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weird to be called "sheeple" by people who literally sang "i just wanna be a sheep, ba ba ba ba" at church camp
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the day i found out you didn't have to be skinny to be hot the whole game changed
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@GraceSpelman
took some photos with my best friend for her birthday and when we paused to review them we laughed until i was in tears at this one. it was dark and her bf had his glasses off and wanted to make sure he was looking at the camera. even looking at it now i can't stop giggling.
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junior asparagus being voiced by a woman was the first trans icon for a whole generation of kids with religious trauma
meet the 16 year old entrepreneur interested in cryptocurrency
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worship songs where you replace cross with crocs
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WANTING TO HAVE SEX IS NOT A GOOD ENOUGH REASON TO GET MARRIED
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what the fuck are the options for kids raised in the church? accept everything you were taught or be ostracized from the only community you know? that's not freedom
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being demisexual means i'm only attracted to people i'm friends with but it doesn't mean that because we're friends i'm attracted to you
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choosing to use someone's correct name and pronouns isn't an act of kindness, it's the bare fucking minimum
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omg wait this weekend my wife and i are going to our first wedding as wives i can't fuckin wait, all our homeschool and church friends are gonna be there and i can't wait to laugh and dance and celebrate as our full selves
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my therapist just said fuck around and find out is anti-purity culture and you know what? she's right
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@BradPresutto
@MK_McMaster
i think a lot about a couple i knew who shared a benadryl and one of them slept for two days straight and the other was awake for that same time. not sure what it means. but it haunts me
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@katanablack9
sounds like you're probably exhausted and maybe the meds finally clear your mind enough to feel it? that's how i feel sometimes. it's all situational, you might also not be at the right dose
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i love the phrase "Jesus H. Christ" like, what does the H stand for? Harold?
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we made it work 🌈💖🦄✨
polyamory is so hard! my boyfriend married his wife yesterday and trying to get our whole polycule to stand still for one moment to take a picture was near impossible. idk how these poly sluts do it
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i'm so jealous of iced-coffee bisexuals cuz i'm a hot coffee pansexual and it's so humid i'm gonna die but i still NEED IT hot
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hold on, does anyone else remember My Date With The President's Daughter?
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told my boss that my wife is trans and she asked me to help her get her pronouns right and asked if i was getting support because "supporters need supporters" and i'm feeling extremely seen and cherished
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bathrooms don't need to be gendered you need two signs: urinals, stalls. it's that easy
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yea you've seen polyamory end badly but how many times have you watched your monogamous friends destroy their lives for a partner? perhaps poly people are more willing to be honest about their fuckups than the monogs who are trying to keep things looking good from the outside
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@CARRIONIER
as a safety professional I'm. just glad she's wearing eyewear. also, pls enlighten me: what's wrong with turtle necks? I genuinely would love to know
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well, my middle school youth pastor has finally reached out to make sure i'm only having sex with my husband. very good.
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honestly thankful i figured out god wasn't real before i got any jesus tattoos
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today my psychiatrist recommended i buy a punching bag. i think i'll name it mitch mcconnell
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hey reddit my boyfriend just said red delicious is his favorite apple aita for breaking up with him?
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cw: suicidality
today, after years of telling people i'm in danger and unwell, i finally had a therapist take me seriously and help me make a safety plan. this is a huge step for me, pls be proud
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@dannynett
@MaraWilson
Cregg is thrilled that we're both home all day, it's made him almost likable
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@sweatyhairy
@thelastthelost
get a rounded shower curtain rod. it'll cost 20 bucks, will take ten minutes to install, and will improve your shower experience forever more
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@manwhore4till
adhd and autism are gfs who have been together so long they're becoming the same person
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me every second of the day now thay my spouse is loudly out
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i h8 that evangelicals ruined the phrase "doing life together" because that's so what i value in friendships. sorting laundry and talking about your week, going grocery shopping together, driving to the post office w/ a pal. we are reclaiming and requeering "doing life" in 2022
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your lesbian moms want to tell you we're proud of you, drink some water before you have another cup of coffee!
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