chadd
@_fool94
Followers
296
Following
310
Media
2,155
Statuses
20,958
call your grandparents hold the fuckin door open for someone #TimeToHunt
Big Rock Candy Mountains
Joined March 2013
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crazy that you can just be born wearing the hardest fit ever
Meditating red-shanked douc from the jungle of Vietnam. It's a highly specialised leaf-eater with four stomach chambers filled with microorganisms similar to ruminants. You couldn't tell from its nose but one of its closest relatives is the proboscis monkey. Son Tra Mountains.
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too much worm’s wart and not enough frog’s breath in this dumbass fuckimg soup
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wow they’re only about 200 more shocking discoveries about sugar free soda away from me giving a shit
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keep your eyes on the replies this kid is so close to a meltdown over nobody else thinking it’s funny
What’s up Gamers, I officially have a new tattoo also
@ChipotleTweets
do I get free carne asada for life since I have your logo tattooed on my body?
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astrology: fake dumb made up
the idea of me wearing this hat all day having any impact on the hockey game tonight: honorable real valid
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beekeeping is whack as fuck cause if i were doing it my ass would not need that dumbass suit the bees would just rock with me like that
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did you know it’s against the twitter ToS to say I want to kill the CEO of twitter. It’s illegal, against the ToS, one of the only sentences you can’t say. It was okay for me to say it just then because I was telling you it’s against the ToS to say I want to kill the CEO of twitt
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my uncle john died earlier today. wasn't a real uncle but did uncle shit like wake you up after everyone was asleep to watch him play MK2 for the genesis on his giant ass box tv
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damn! sounds like somebody got pretty close to killing elon musk last night. let’s all work a little harder to make today a great day!
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you will never catch me saying someone I hate is bad at something they're good at. I just read a poem by a mfer I can't stand (not that one) & i had to be like "okay... work." a true hater does not hate falsely. that's the true hater first commandment
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have a fire conversation
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ANNOUNCEMENT TIME!!!! 📢
I GAVE MYSELF A NEW JOB!!!!
That's right!!! Starting tomorrow I'm officially beginning my tenure as the first and only sports journalist at Smosh!
Thank you so much to everyone who followed and supported me on this journey!!!
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posing is not sexy bein aware of the camera is not sexy. candid is sexy. im sexy. im candid. im candy. eye candy. hi mandy.
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work group chat freaking out about some bullshit but i don’t care cause i just got A NEW FUCKING JOB
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wow this picture rocks. a day to remember shirt, checking myspace, pretending to eat my friend’s hamster
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I must’ve seen this shit 100,000,000 times on my xbox in high school holy fucking shit it’s real
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Customer: YOU FOOL
DMV: CONFRONTATIONAL
Verdict: DENIED
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i watched the blade movies at his house and he'd try talking to me about video games that i was 10 years too young to know anything about. my only relative in alabama who wasn't purely a hick. hope i remember him for a good while.
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i don’t even give a fuck that my hockey team is down 0-2 to the biggest group of losers on the planet right now
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you should be allowed one arch nemesis in life who you can commit unlimited acts of violence against with no repercussion
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are you serious
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BEST FUCKING NIGHT OF MY LIFE THEY REALLY FUCKING WON IT
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my apartment in gainesville was like this where i was happier than you could ever dream
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i definitely just pulled something in my arm picking this dumb fucker up
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kinda insane how much funny guy mileage you could get outta one of these in 2011
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i'm the kobe bryant of fucking off at work and i'm about to put up a 60 point game
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mall landscaping dudes just left this bad boy laying around i’m going spongebob mode
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alright
so i know i don’t usually do this
like
talk about my fucking feelings & shit
but
i’m not feeling like myself
and i don’t know who to fuckin turn to
or if these feelings inside
are ever gonna fuckin stop
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don’t get a cat don’t listen to what anyone fucking tells you i just got in bed after work and laid right on top a dead fucking rabbit
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i used to invite my two best friends over in 2007 to just surround my laptop and scroll /b/ for hours
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for the first time in 15 years, since i was in the sixth grade, i will open this door to no furby girl there to greet me
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