Noah
@RandyNoah
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Following
496
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Statuses
18,676
Arsenal ❤️ Yet we Smile. Clean hands. Pure hearts. Good grace. Good God
Nairobi,Kenya
Joined December 2012
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Pinned Tweet
I was all okay today, until I saw my mum and dad - my greatest support system - at the Supreme Court gate, and just broke down. This achievement is my dedication to them. Now, they reap♥️
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Someone has taught my mum how to take videos and send them via whatsapp. She's been sending me long videos of our goats bleating, the clean compound, poultry, the sky...
Women in tech 💉
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William Ruto should re-appoint Machogu, Murkomen, Duale and Linturi, then instantly fire them again.
Incompetence!
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Recall my mum once telling me that dad was being ridiculed at work, for putting on cheap toughees shoes, that had been to the cobbler a fair number of times. Said how he wasn't able to purchase new ones, just so we'd get that meal, and raise that fees at the time. 1/2
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You attend an interview at Nkatha's firm in bata ngomas, you are as good as hired.
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Barely two months into practice, this has to be the most disrespectful thing a prospective client has ever mentioned to me 😅
They should have stopped typing and hit send, at "...too high"
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Not so long ago, here in Mombasa, I met a pretty pretty babe, and went on one date with her. Mrembo ajab.
Whilst casually conversing, she asked where I worked and I told her at some lawfirm in town. She innocently asked what a lawfirm is, and what it does.
Bro.
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This weekend, we are Lille, Atletico Madrid, AC Milan and Leicester.
Yours truly, the Universe 🍻
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From a criminal case hearing, and after cross examining the visibly irrate IO, he told me out of court "chunga ama tutakumaliza na hakuna kitu utafanya"
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-I went to the Magistrate's Chambers and reported this. IO and prosecutor were summoned.
-Magistrate made a call to the Asst County Commissioner, and brought the issue to his attention
This wasn't a pleasant experience, largely because, these people mean exactly what they say.
From a criminal case hearing, and after cross examining the visibly irrate IO, he told me out of court "chunga ama tutakumaliza na hakuna kitu utafanya"
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Should have added, the joy he usually expresses whenever he receives any of these, is usually enough to keep motivated in this capital city of ours
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Nowadays I buy shoes, and I'm like, send these ones to the old man back home. He deserves nice things too. 2/2
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Willis Otieno has now set the bar quite high. We'll start receiving difficult questions from clients, "Why weren't you sweating? Do you really believe in my case?"
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I must have missed the memo where Advocates met and decided, henceforth, to go all pettty, sarcastic and brutal in demand letters😅
Been getting demand letters where it's difficult to decipher whether it's been sent on behalf of the client, or it's become personal for counsel
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@BukayoSaka87
No scandals. No sideshows. Just wants to play ball. Feed his family. Make the fans happy. And thank God.
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Wakili forgot to carry her stamp, and approached me to attest a document for her. She then reached out to give me 100 shillings that had been given to her by her client for said attestation. 100 shillings.
We are our own Achilles heel.
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It's the end of the season.
Today, the football world unites behind AC Milan, Manchester City, Norwich and Leeds United.
May football win🍻
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This is why at times we just stick to our fellow devils in the profession.
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Attended court in a half-coat today, and took a telling off from the good judge. Which is fine.
But why opposing counsel (been in practice for over 20 years), felt the need to tell the judge "these kids are just like that" is beyond me.
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A judge who was loved and respected by ALL.
Rest in peace Justice David Majanja 🕊
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I was on my way home, seated next to this fine fine lady. We made conversation all the way. As I was about to alight, I tell her to get home safe, and have a great evening, and she's like, 'You won't ask for my number?'
Yeah guys, I know it's the good suit, beard, and DIOR😄
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@CaxstonePKigata
This is inappropriate senior. Pupillage is a learning process. You can correct the pupil, without ridiculing him. Do those in-house corrections. Help him get better. Posting here says more about you as a Pupil master, than the Pupil himself. Do better.
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We had an intern we were working with. On their last day, they decided to decongest their chest a bit via an email.
Everyone was a getting a piece on their own dedicated paragraph.
If you were feeling triggered, guys would just give you the 'do better Counsel' eyes😅
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Ya'll decided we listen to
@Mr_Guantai
and respect ourselves. Today we sleep hungry, and eat our 'dignity', trusting that tomorrow shall get better, and clients that value us and the work we do shall come our way
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Was from a meeting a few minutes ago, and whilst waiting for a cab, two guys on a bike pop out of nowhere and tried to grab my laptop bag. They failed. Riding away, one pulled out a gun. He missed.
Trauma.
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Judgement in favor of client, awarding them KES 5,000,000 plus costs. Advocate pays client KES 500,000, and asks them to sign acknowledgement letter. Then further proceeds to fle bill of costs against client.
Isn't this the greed that the Bible warns us about?
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Back in campus, I never fancied commercial law units.
In KSL, I struggled with commercial transactions, and only started taking keen interest towards the end of term two.
Currently, 80% of my briefs are on insolvency law.
1/2
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Kuna jomba tumekuwa naye pale Court hapo March. He told the Court I was employing delaying tactics, and that my request for adjournment should not be granted.
I see he's getting admitted today. Welcome to the Bar Counsel.
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From serving a demand notice, recipient akanitukana kwa email na kijaka.
It's fine.
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Pay a process server, or provide means to facilitate the pupil/intern's movement.
It's somewhere there in SOPPEC
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Umeeka Pupils kwa ofisi wakupikie ugali ya brown na samaki kila siku lunchtime?
May you hit your little toe every night when you go to bed.
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Naona siku hizi mnaitwa 'record of appeal'. Got to keep up with these ever changing references
I am in bed with a record of appeal while watu wengine wako in bed watching Netflix. I'm jealous.
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"Hey bro, could you please hold brief for me in court? It's just a mention to take a date, straightforward"...
"Sure thing"
Introduces myself, Magistrate interrupts... "Counsel, I see you are seeking 96M in special damages... What is this file doing in my court?" 1/n
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@Pam_ellah96
😂 😂 I have had to watch a 3 minutes long video of our tank's tap, just trying to figure out what message queen mother is trying to pass
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@LarryMadowo
International followers kwa comment sections za Larry hushangaa wakenya wanaongea lugha gani huko😂😂
One just came to type New York, anapatana na "Hapo mbele ya Kinoo" 😂
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That one time in Campus, when we were heading back to school, holding hands, after a dinner date with this babe.
Those dogs at St Francis Xavier hapo Parklands did that thing.
Mimi nlijipata Gate ya Parklands, yeye akajipata karibu na Ngara.
The relationship didn't survive.
Do kids even get chased by dogs anymore? This generation don't go through tough times!
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Tulianza ATP kotini,tunaimalizia kotini.
Mateso. Hujuma
May those that come after us never have to suffer the same fate. May those that went before us never normalize mediocrity simply because "they went through it too" -1
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To give the LSK President her flowers👏
This is the Law Society of Kenya we want!
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On Monday in Hon. Opande's court, there's an advocate who forgot to mute his device. He was on call with this lady, who is on pupillage. Hakuwa anabahatisha na hizo mistari. From that call, alifikishana Egypt, Zanzibar, Lamu...
Magistrate alishindwa kushikilia kicheko bana😅
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I woke up today, on my birthday, and this is the tweet that first came to my mind.
The difference between where I was exactly a year ago, and today is vast.
Never despair.
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I have gone through each and every comment in that tweet, and I'm glad I put it here. So much intimidation is thrown at us, whilst actually doing our job.
But as the comments suggest, there is recourse.
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From the hospital bed, to your quick reads. Dig in-
Two Titles, One Parcel Of Land: What The Law Says
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I wish he'd accompany pulling down that Tweet with an apology. But it's okay, we take it that he's self-reflected.
Proud of this generation of budding lawyers and advocates who refuse to sit back and tolerate tomfoolery. Make the profession better for those who come after you.
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When you come online, and come across 9ps all over, and that sad/disappointment feeling wants to settle in, caz you didn't bag all 9 - it's okay. But shun that feeling.
Take a step back, and recollect all the effort and work you put in. You'll be more grateful.
1/n
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This gentleman just politely hooted, lowered his merc's window, to "hiyo luku imeweza" me.
Thursday.
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Pupillage can be a frustrating experience. But if you get a firm where the learning is hands-on, with as much exposure to the ins and outs of litigation and practice, it sets you up on an extremely good course.
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Joined fellow Advocates in Mombasa, in the LSK National peaceful protests.
Our pledge is to remain relentless in our defense of the Constitution, and steadfast in upholding the Rule of Law.
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Earlier today in court, I told
@kelvinopere1
to come beat me, and that I'll be waiting. I don't think he took it too well.
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You put out an innocent tweet, get on with your day, suddenly you are getting DMs from our brothers pale Ug telling you the tweet was the subject of discussion in some Ethics class😅
"Advocates are their own Achilles Heel when it comes to undercutting"
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Gazettement gives you a feeling you can't explain😅
Congratulations to everyone whose three names have been printed by the govt printers today.
You love to see it🍻
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From a meeting with a client, and when seeing me off, she casually asked where I had parked.
Okay.
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Poor academic performers huwa wanacome up na very interesting think-pieces, to discredit those of us who attained proper grades in school
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My Orals panelists should know that it is not that I didn't know. Sometimes even these things happen.
You leave your house prepared but get to the abattoir a completely different person. Doesn't mean you are any less a smart lawyer.
Prof. Kameri Mbote is extremely brilliant!
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We know what we go through in this journey to the Bar. When you see us celebrate our people, those that make it to the Bar, it's because we know how much it matters. How much effort is put into it. Each and every one of them has their own story.Cheer them on. Celebrate them
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Client today was extremely appreciative and grateful, and went on about "I have a beautiful, bright daughter, are you married my son?..."
Ayo, she's beautiful and bright, but legal fees, eh ? 😅
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Gakeri was asked why marking schemes aren't released akasema they haven't had the capacity to process them and put them online, but they shall look into it going forward...
MARKING SCHEMES bro, just marking schemes😅
#CLEBarexams
#CLEwi
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Just look at Martha Karua. That right there is DP material. Elegance. Class. Level-headed. Intellectual.
Mnaeza mtuma kule majuu na you'll sit comfortably knowing you won't be embarrassed as a country. Again, in the event Baba is away, the country is still in safe hands.
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Hey you, in 2023, may the road rise up to meet you. May the wind be always at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face, the rains fall soft upon your fields. And may God hold you in the palm of His hand.
Shall we? 😃
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My admission to the Bar was the happiest day of my life. I'm sure it's going to be the same for many of those joining the Bar today.
Savor it, feel the moment, go through the emotions, enjoy it all.
You absolutely deserve it🍻
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No Saka slander will be tolerated here. You had Sterling, Shaw, Grealish there to take that penalty. But no, you want to put all pressure brought by both Rashy and Sanchy on a 19 year old. Rest!
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I start on Monday😅
My weapon is a melody 🎶
From an interview where I was asked to disect the entire scenario surrounding Shaffie Weru, CAKs reaction, recourse 😅
Kelele huwa unapiga kwa timeline inakusaidia aje hii maisha?
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Kuna watu kama both Theuri and Faith would have won, wangetutembelea kwa kichwa.
Thank you for the peace, Samson Omwanza Ombati!
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You hear
@Mr_Guantai
speak, and you can tell he went through the trenches as a pupil. He knows. And that's why he's spoken so profoundly, hitting all points home.
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Noordin Hajji should now also come and address the Nation!
Let the entire house burn!
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3 pupillage referrals, and two job referrals - all successfully accepted.
Not so long into practice, but I'm glad the investment made in my networks and social circles gets to benefit others, even in the smallest of ways.
That thank you call often leaves the heart warm.
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My dad has just left the house, searched for network to give me a call, with so much excitement, saying he's seen me on TV🤣🤣🤣
He is genuinely so happy, I didn't know such would really excite him like that.
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@MiracleMudeyi
Huko kwa mambo mingi ndio naskia kila mtu hurudi tu after kupata ile clarity 😅
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MPs can bully you. But this is one of those that I handled with so much calm, and shall be savoring it for a while.
To career growth, and progress.
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Ndio kutoka kupiga mwili pole😅
Timely reminder to always speak up. Demand better services. Never settle for mediocrity.
Mawakili, "You are the prize, you deserve to be treated as such"🍻
#Viva
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Young Bar were so crucial in the just concluded LSK elections, that suddenly we are seeing motions proposing that President be an Advocate who's practiced for more than 25 years, and a minimum of 5-year practice limits on Council positions.
We must have upset people😃
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Was just seated, and remembered how Criminal Litigation did us dirty during our time, a friend of mine just left the exam room after the paper kama ameenda Sabina Joy😂😂😂
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Whatever the case, please don't harm yourselves. Cry. Scream. Talk to friends. Seek out those orgasms. Let off some steam. Talk to God. Anything.
But just keep breathing. There's more to this life.
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The case is not yours as an Advocate. It is the client's. We are told this all the time.
Perhaps Judges and Magistrates need to be reminded of this as well, as they have the extremely bad habit of making cases about them.
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How things are going, one may as well end their demand letter by pinning location, and aaking you to go beat them if you can😅
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This journey in the legal profession, you figure things out along the way. Be patient with yourself.
2/2
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I've listened to the submissions from Christian Andole. Impressed would be an understatement.
Here's to those that make us believe 🍻
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What happened to newly admitted advocates getting free PCs on their first year of practice? Ama ilikuwa ya kutafta kura?
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Everytime I talk to mum in the morning and she ends with 'ubarikiwe my son', I just approach the day with some renewed confidence and strength
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An entire Bench can actually "catch feelings" and tell an Advocate, his children, and his children's children never to show up before them?
21st century? 2010 Constitution? Present day Kenya?
Eh!
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Lawyers are 'canceling' each other for having conflicting opinions? LAWYERS? Haha
These people who think they have the monopoly of reason and thoughts buffle me.
Mtengeneze timeline yenu huko, penye ukikohoa, kila mtu anaitika
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If you are among the newly admitted Advocates, and your Firm didn't post you on any of their social platforms, or doesn't even have social media presence, fret not.
Endelea tu kuweka bidii.
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On the flipside, no standard formular for passing those Bar exams. If you feel a little excitement down in Arusha will do for you, fair enough😃
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Threw a witty joke in court today. The judge laughed, but proceeded to remind me only she is allowed to make jokes in court- a preserve of the bench.
I don't think opposing liked that light moment too much.
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The current LSK President campaigned on the promise to have free PCs for everyone newly admitted or in their first year of practice. Nowadays, when reminded, it's selective amnesia😃
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The same applies to the responses to any such demand letters shared...
"We are at a loss how you..."
"We struggle to comprehend..."
"We worry whether you did attend classes on..."
Etc
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Nani anafanya KenyaLaw kuwa slow, juu si mawakili. Karibu wote are out there gossiping about Brian Mwenda
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That cry at the Citizens Assembly, from the mother who is looking for her child, has broken my heart man💔
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"I just want to be an advocate. Not an accountant"
Day 2
We were in this Naboka headed to town after the first paper. No one was talking the entire journey. One kept shaking her head. Another gazed outside the window, vividly lost. Another couldn't keep tears from falling. Another was on phone seeking consolation from the mum.
Day 1
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This forum, you use your real name and have your face on your profile, and proceed to tweet with your chest.
Or you call yourself something like bootylicious, have Gachagua as your profile pic, and go as rogue as you want.
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We are at the State House gates in Mombasa, and the police are telling us they are also rejecting the Bill, lakini wako kazi.
Teargas zimefika saba sasa
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