@ZacharySchaffer
@me_im_chloe
@Mepbon
zack i know you love the taste of the nypd’s boots almost as much as you love the oxford comma but you endangered people by doing this!!!
@ZacharySchaffer
@me_im_chloe
@Mepbon
“Here in Brooklyn, the vast majority is seeking peaceful protests” bitch did you do at least do a doodle poll before you appointed yourself leader of this movement
got an offer and am moving to nola this summer :)
i get assigned an attorney and we travel across texas, mississippi, and louisiana and represent people facing the death penalty
just deposited several thousand dollars into my bank account the nypd had to pay me for illegally arresting, battering, and searching me back in summer 2020
Detox. Your looks caused the judges to short-circuit, but your performance in the "future is female" acting challenge was ....... robotic.
I'm sorry my dear but you are up for elimination.
one time i walked in on my white nationalist brother masturbating to the scene in armageddon when ben affleck is making animal crackers crawl on liv tyler’s tits
accidentally stabbed myself and had to get seven stitches on thumbprint and the doctor (while making small talk to calm me down) learned I was almost a lawyer and said “don’t sue me if this goes wrong!!” — not what you wanna hear from someone sewing your hand back together
mom is coming to new york for graduation and bought a dress with the manhattan skyline on it to wear and it’s insane to think this would have embarrassed me at some points of my humiliating life
OMFGGGG I PASSED THE BABY BAR EXAM!!!!
Looking in the mirror, I am really proud of the woman looking back today in the reflection.
For anyone who doesn’t know my law school journey, know this wasn’t easy or handed to me.
ok so i technically never came out to my dad in person, but he did walk in on me during the scene in final fantasy x when yuna and tidus are making out underwater to j-pop then said "what the fuck is this gay shit" and i think that's close enough
my sister’s pregnant again and she said “it was not planned but not prevented if that makes sense” ... love this christian girl autumn way of saying “my husband nuts in me”
the universe has, in effect, Eternal Sunshine'd my most recent ex by making me fall into a swamp and break my phone + only providing me with an icloud backup from the week before we met
I have no pictures of him, and no way to reach him. Iconic.
And now, a story: my friends and I scammed our way into a plastic surgeon's Fire Island mansion, and we gradually realized that he did not want us to leave.
this weekend, after three glasses of red wine, i felt the urge to text my ex. I then said aloud, "do something else." anyways i became a dues-paying member of the communist party lmao
sry to brag but once this dude mugged me while holding a knife to my throat and said he would come back to kill me if I called the cops so I said "I've never called the cops and don't plan on starting now" or something and he gave my wallet back lol pretty legendary if you ask me
a white actress running as a democratic socialist is the only effective method i've seen to trick a lot of white gays into having even halfway decent politics. let's do it again! someone get monica potter on board with BDS and have her run in ohio
my sister just confessed to me she's jealous of my "glamorous new york city life" and it's like sweetie it's just risky sexual behavior, questionable cocaine use, an eating disorder, and an increasing loneliness
put out a call for a place to stay so I don’t get my roommates sick by going out to protests and the hottest dude i’ve ever met invited me to isolate in his apartment we love this moment for me