City of Doncaster Council
@MyDoncaster
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You can take the boy out of Doncaster…🙌
We’ve just received this incredible message of support from one of Doncaster’s favourite sons – thanks so much
@Louis_Tomlinson
! 👏😁
No matter where you are in the world, Doncaster’s community spirit is hard to shake off!💪
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In November 1970, officials in Oregon, USA decided to blow up a rotting whale carcass. The whole thing went horribly wrong.
Why do we bring this up? Well, this story can teach us 3 things about
#coronavirus
⬇️
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3️⃣ When you ignore expert advice and act like an idiot, you cover everyone else with decaying whale blubber.
#StayHome
and stop being selfish.
🧨 🐳
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We're excited to announce that Doncaster has been chosen as the location for a British remake of Friends.
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1️⃣ DON’T IGNORE THE ADVICE THAT EXPERTS GIVE YOU.
They know what they’re talking about.
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2️⃣ Sometimes, it’s better to just sit at home and do nothing than go outside and do something ridiculous.
Let nature take its course.
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And with this glorious moment, the circle of life is complete.
Our friends at the real place, Florence, Oregon, have seen our tweets.
🧨🐳
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Welcome home
@Louis_Tomlinson
!
It's great to have you back and we're sure it'll be an amazing hometown show tonight! 🙌🙌
...and with reference to that collection of an unwanted sofa you enquired about, please see our webpage: . Thanks!👍😜
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We've had a few tweets about this now, and can confirm that Louis Tomlinson is included in the new Danum Gallery, Library and Museum!
How could we NOT mention him?
See if you can find
@Louis_Tomlinson
on the virtual tour:
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We are delighted to announce we are one of the founding members of the
#EuropeanSuperLeague
of Councils.
We have signed up alongside Barcelona Council, Milan Council and Handforth Parish Council to this elite group.
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We are DELIGHTED to be able to confirm what our new gritters will be called, following the
#DoncasterGrittingWorldCup
final!
They will be called:
Gritsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Anti-Slip Machiney
And
David Plowie
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The grass in Doncaster watching you not pick up your dog poo.
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The overwhelming smell sent people running for their homes as rotting whale plopped down around them.
The situation was dangerous - a car was even crushed by a huge lump of blubber a quarter of a mile away.
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Hello. This man’s name was Stanislav Petrov.
Stanislav was a hero, and if you want to – you can be just like him. Let us explain.
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To cap everything off, the main bit of the whale stayed exactly where it had been.
The problem hadn’t gone away, only now there were thousands of bits of problem spread for miles around.
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Great video
@Louis_Tomlinson
- we're on standby to pick up that fly-tipped sofa if you need us 👍
#ThisismyDoncaster
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An ex-member of the military advised George and the other officials that this was waaaay too much, and just a few sticks of dynamite would be enough.
They ignored his advice.
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So why do we tell you this story? Well, as far as we can see, there are three
#coronavirus
lessons here:
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There was some debate amongst locals about what to do with it.
1️⃣ Although unpleasant, they could leave it to decompose.
2️⃣ They could try and chop it up and bury it (again, not pleasant)
3️⃣ They could blow it up with dynamite and hope that seagulls ate all the small chunks.
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Very quickly, the short-sightedness of the plan became evident.
The huge amount of dynamite sent massive chunks of blubber flying through the chilly air, and it rained down around the terrified onlookers.
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The story begins when a 45-foot sperm whale washed up on the beach in Florence, Oregon on 9 November 1970.
Here it is:
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China’s first emperor, Qin Shi Huang, was so obsessed with finding a way to live forever that he ended up accidentally killing himself.
It’s time for another surprisingly relevant history lesson from Doncaster Council ⬇️
#COVID19
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George Thornton, who sensibly seems to be wearing a hard hat, was the engineer in charge of the explosion.
By his own admission, he wasn’t sure how much dynamite would be needed to completely obliterate one of the world’s largest mammals, so he opted for half a tonne.
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On 12 November, in front of a crowd of excited spectators (yes, really)...they exploded the whale.
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Fortunately, at least for the purposes of this history lesson, they chose option 3.
They would blow up the whale.
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You can take the boy out of Donny...
@Louis_Tomlinson
proving once again the resourcefulness of all Doncastrians 👌💪
Glastonbury doesn't show football. But in one of the campsites, someone set up a flatscreen to screen the England match.
That someone was Louis Tomlinson, from One Direction. He spoke to
@katierazz
after England's win.
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It was decided that leaving the whale to decompose would be too unpleasant in the short term.
No one wants the smell of rotting sperm whale when they’re eating their Christmas dinner.
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BASICALLY, THEY GAINED CITY STATUS AS PART OF THE QUEEN'S PLATINUM JUBILEE CELEBRATIONS AND NOW THEY NEED TO CHOOSE WHETHER THEY WANT TO BE KNOW AS CITY OF DONCASTER OR DONCASTER CITY SO THEY'RE ASKING THE PUBLIC TO SAY WHICH ONE THEY PREFER AND YOU CAN HAVE YOUR SAY ONLINE
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Are you confused about what the latest COVID-19 guidance actually means for you?
Well, luckily, because we’re a local government authority, we’re fluent in this kind of language.
Allow us to translate it for you.
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😱*Puts on tin hat* 😱
We would like your name suggestions for two of our new gritting vehicles, please.
Keep em clean and be original - we'd prefer not to spend the next few days trawling through responses of Gritty McGritface and Gary Gritter. 🙄
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It's nice to see people truly appreciating some of the many services we offer as a council, to the point of them wanting to thank us in person. 😊
#MondayMotivation
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Don't forget we already have gritters with the following names:
- Brad Grit
- Gritney Spears
- The Subzero Hero
- Mr Plow
- Usain Salt
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We were more than happy to provide consultation on these Doncaster slang phrases...😜
We're well chuffed that
@Louis_Tomlinson
did so well!
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Have you heard about the time the Hapsburg army got drunk and attacked itself in 1788?
Yeah, it wasn’t cool.
It’s time for another
#coronavirus
history lesson from Doncaster Council.
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The story of a swimmer called Gertrude Ederle is exactly what we all need to read this week.
Why?
Let us explain.
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As Banksy is trending today, we wondered whether any art experts could confirm that this piece in Doncaster could be an original by the elusive artist?
Granted, it’s not his usual style, but the social commentary is 👌
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Stanislav Petrov is known as ‘The Man Who Saved the World by Doing Nothing.’ In the coming weeks, use him as your inspiration.
#StayHomeSaveLives
#BreakTheChain
#COVID19
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And, if you keep following Doncaster Council on social media, next week we’ll be explaining the plot of the film ‘Inception’. That can be a bit confusing too.
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Let's be fair, a
@Louis_Tomlinson
tour sounds like a great idea!
Any particular stops we'd need to include Louis?
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We’re pleased to unveil our own real-time gritter map, where you can track our fleet as they go about their route! It took all the technical knowledge we had, but here it is:
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Hi
@Louis_Tomlinson
well done on your first weekend
@TheXFactor
!
To confirm, meeting room 410 here at the Civic Office is all booked for you ready for Judge's Houses👍. Will you be needing tea or coffee?
*Reminder* you'll need to be out by 3pm as HR have a team meeting. Thanks
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Not sure why but our tweet from two and a bit years ago is getting a lot of attention again today, so just another reminder to please pick up your dog poo💩.
Thanks
The grass in Doncaster watching you not pick up your dog poo.
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So no one told you life was gonna be this way.
Your seat's got mould,
You're cold.
You're in an alleywaaaay
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In 1932, Australia declared war on some Emus.
The Emus fought back.
It’s time for another
#coronavirus
history lesson from Doncaster Council.
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Top residents issues reported to us by number:
20. Each
19. report
18. from a resident
17. is
16. as important
15. to
14. us
13. as the
12. next
11. so
10. we will
9. never
8. differentiate
7. whatever the
6. number
5. of
4. reports
3. we
2. receive
1. Bins
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We’re on the lookout for whoever has INEXPLICABLY eaten one chocolate bar and left the wrapper and other three unopened bars on this park bench.
We haven’t seen this many careless Wispas since George Michael was around.
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It’s not enough to tell women not to walk alone at night. To be ready to run away from danger. To call a friend while they’re walking on their own.
Women have been told these things for decades.
Maybe we should focus on teaching our boys to respect women.
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Legend has it that Maria Feodorovna saved someone’s life with punctuation.
Let us tell you the story, and how you can take inspiration from her during
#coronavirus
.
It’s time for another history lesson from Doncaster Council ⬇️
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Congratulations to The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge after announcing that they have named their son Louis Arthur Charles.
Are the Royal couple fans of
@Louis_Tomlinson
? We think it might have been the 'Back to You' video set in Doncaster that swung it!
#RoyalBabyName
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We have found a speedboat. On a road. In Doncaster. THREAD:
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Nice to hear our favourite tourism officer
@Louis_Tomlinson
on with
@gregjames
@BBCR1
selling Doncaster to the world.
Not so nice that he phoned in sick this morning and has left Julie alone in the Tourist Information Centre.
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Hello you.
Yes, you!
Do you know what you remind us of?
This creature, called a Tardigrade.
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The moment you look out of the window to see the bin lorry leaving your street, but you forgot to put yours kerbside for collection
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An amazing day in Doncaster as we welcomed Their Majesties The King and The Queen Consort.
The visit celebrated our City Status, granted in the summer as part of the Queen’s Platinum Jubilee Celebrations.
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Should we give up? Or should we just keep Chasing Payment?
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We’re not going to ask you to be inspired by Qin Shi Huang - the scholars of the world might not appreciate that.
However, please take a leaf out of the emperor’s book and STOP harming yourself with your actions.
It’s doing more damage than you realise.
#COVID19
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PEOPLE OF DONCASTER!
Please don't be alarmed - that giant yellow thing in the sky is known as the 'sun', and is nothing to be afraid of.
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...And she soon turns her back on the Big Apple as she comes to realise that Doncaster is the best place to settle due to it's fantastic transport links and connectivity, friendly communities and wonderful attractions such as our famous market....right?
This is the plot to a Christmas movie. Plane full of New Yorkers find themselves stranded in Donny over the festive period. Dagger-heeled Manhattan executive (Sandra Bullock) gradually falls in love with East Coast Mainline signalman (Sean Bean). Jim Broadbent in the mix.
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Finally, how could we leave out lovely
@Louis_Tomlinson
?
If 1 metre is 0.6 Louis Tomlinsons, and 1 Louis Tomlinson was 0.2 of One Direction, does that mean...
...1 metre is 0.12 Directions?
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We will compete against these elite authorities in several council-based fixtures for a chance at the grand prize: a state-of-the-art Highways line-painting machine.
We remain fully committed to our domestic duties in South Yorkshire, but are excited for this new future.
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We're going to have to do things differently for our final fixture, because one suggestion is too long for a poll but too popular to leave out. Like this tweet to vote for:
Gritsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Anti-slip Machiney
Or vote below for:
Salt Disney
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I really don't care
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There's nothing worse than a council trying to speak like a young person.
It has to be done with the lightest of touches - so imperceptible that you barely notice.
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It's Doncaster Pride day!🌈
Head down to Elmfield Park from 12pm for a day packed full of free family fun!
The Parade will start at 11am from Silver St, heading through the city and arriving at the festival site for 12pm - where the entertainment will start on the main stage!🎤
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Wow! Thanks
@Louis_Tomlinson
! 😘
It just goes to show...no matter how far you travel and how successful you are, it's always important to stay right on top of the bin collection information back home! 👍
(P.S. Good luck with new single!
#TwoOfUs
)
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For rights reasons, and to avoid legal action from
@DavidSchwimmer
and
@MatthewPerry
, the British remake of Friends will centre around the Gunther character, as he tours around Doncaster picking up fly-tipping for the
#ThisisMyDoncaster
campaign.
We're all very excited.
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For 4 years, Michelangelo painted the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. A breath-taking masterpiece and treasure of humanity.
And now, a council from South Yorkshire is going to use him to make a point about
#Coronavirus
.
It’s time for a history lesson from Doncaster Council.
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Thanks for the follow
@Louis_Tomlinson
. Brace yourself for exciting tweets about gritting and bin collections! 👍
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Here’s where you come in.
Now, we’re not saying the threat of
#covid19
is the same as 5 nuclear bombs. What we’re saying is that YOU have the chance to be an absolute HERO by doing pretty much NOTHING.
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(We know what you’re thinking – is Doncaster Council REALLY invoking the memory of a 2,000 year-old Chinese emperor to make a point about fly-tipping? Yes, we are. Deal with it.)
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Some good news this morning - we're proud to be funding free school meal vouchers for local school children this half term.
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Semi Final 4:
LIKE this post to vote for Gritsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Anti-slip Machiney
Or vote below for:
Lionel Gritchie
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I STILL don't care.
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We're VERY pleased to confirm that Doncaster has won City Status as part of Her Majesty the Queen’s Platinum Jubilee Celebrations!🥳
We're one of 8 new cities to win the honour.
Thank you to everyone who gave us such amazing support to make our bid a winning one!
#WeGotItDN
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Qin Shi Huang lived over 2,000 years ago, so it’s EXTREMELY unlikely that he ever considered the possibility that a Local Authority in South Yorkshire would ever do a Twitter thread about him. Nevertheless, let’s jump in.
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They knew their best chance for survival was to separate, stay apart and wait it out.
So, that’s it – the real lesson from this incredible tale is this:
Don’t be more stupid than an Emu.
#StayHome
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If we all keep our determination, then just like Gertrude – we will make it to the other side.
We know it can be done. It has to be done, and we’ll do it.
#COVID19
#coronavirus
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We are delighted to announce we are the first Authority to quit the
#SuperLeague
of Councils.
It was a stupid idea that we never supported in the first place.
Best of luck to Milan, Barcelona and Handforth Parish Councils as they battle for the Highways line-painting machine.
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65,000
#covid19
cases in the UK.
An historic address by the Queen.
The Prime Minister in intensive care.
STILL some people are meeting up?
It's clear we're now dealing with a VERY SPECIFIC type of person, so we'll try and talk their language:
LOOK
HERE
NOW
READ
THIS
👇
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Please tag any rebellious young skaters you happen to know, because for some reason not many of them seem to follow Doncaster Metropolitan Borough Council on twitter.
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We say this in all seriousness: this is one of the proudest moments in this history of Doncaster.
Forget Kevin Keegan being born. Forget Louis Tomlinson becoming a global star. Forget Thomas Crapper inventing the flushing toilet.
Our exploding whale thread has led to this:
Hey
@MyDoncaster
... we thought you would like the name we just unveiled for our newest park!
#explodingwhalememorialpark
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Just when you thought 2020 couldn’t get any weirder:
There are reports of an Emu being on the loose in Doncaster.
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If you’ve been inspired by Louis…
✅ Follow
@CovidDoncaster
☎️ To volunteer: 01302 965459
For social care roles contact Doncaster Social Care Academy:
☎️01302 735556 (9am and 5pm Monday to Friday)
📩 advance
@doncaster
.gov.uk
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3: When the REAL opponent is as powerful as
#coronavirus
is, STOP FIGHTING EACH OTHER.
That means we all
#StayHome
, keep our distance and be patient.
It's as simple as that.
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The money we have to spend picking up rubbish could be spent elsewhere on the front line. It can go towards MUCH more important things, and all it takes is for selfish people to stop being selfish.
If everyone stopped fly-tipping, we could even build a Great Wall of Doncaster.
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Please, stay at HOME. Put your feet up. Relax! How many times in human history will we be able to say that the heroic thing to do will be to SIT DOWN?
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So, there we have it.
We still need to keep our distance, but that minimum distance has been reduced from 2 metres to 1 metre, from 4th of July
But what does 1 metre actually look like?!
Luckily, we're here with some measuring systems that any Doncastrian learns as a child ⬇️
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On 26th October 1985, a scientist named Dr Emmett Brown sent an unsuspecting local teenager back in time.
This whole event can teach us some valuable lessons about
#coronavirus
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Look at this for a trainsformation!
Get it?
Because it's a train station.
And it's been transformed.
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We'll open the most popular suggestions up to a public vote. Once they've been vetted by a very serious panel of civil servants and had their comedy value assessed by a vigorous, five-stage process of course.
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This week in Sheffield, someone made a Venus de Milo out of snow.
Meanwhile, in Doncaster.
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A King’s eye view from the Mansion House steps…
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Hi, dudes!
Do you know what would be gnarly?
If you could refrain from using skate-parks until further notice. We know it'll be a grind (as in the skating move), but the MAN is saying we have to do this.
You'll be back having a kick-flipping good time soon if you
#StayHome
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If you’ve not baked a loaf of banana bread, done 6,000 sit ups and mastered a new instrument every day during
#LOCKDOWN2020
, you’re being lazy…right?
WRONG.
Some of us have been learning valuable lessons from watching TELEVISION, thanks very much.
Thread ⬇️
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Massive well done to
@transsomething
for the amazing suggestion of Gritsy Bitsy! Here is Natalie's reaction to winning the World Cup.
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