matthew kerr
@MatthewKerr_
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unbound, a wild symphony of the everyday, an unyielding masterpiece. no man has ever been quite like it.
Los Angeles, CA
Joined May 2010
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Pinned Tweet
does anyone wanna come over? i just set up the rumpus room
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saw this in whole foods and started crying ❤️ this is exactly what keith would have wanted
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fuckkkkkkkk you guys i just got the worst news about paradise, apparently they paved it and put up a PARKING LOT!!!
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without a doubt
What is your favorite line of dialogue and/or line delivery of the year?
Threaded a few of mine. None are meant to indicate "the best" but they're ones that resonated and stuck with me!
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spent the entirety of the new quiet place movie thinking about how badly bethenny frankel would do in this situation
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life fuckin rules!!!
just started tearing up at the thought of making an ina garten roasted chicken tonight
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me on the front steps of the vatican tomorrow
Pope Francis allegedly used offensive slur during discussion about gay men
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moms love to sit down while ur eating lunch and be like “did u hear about that family that was brutally murdered”
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love a question mark react on a text. what the fuck are you talking about?
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ok i was close though
you can just tell from the trailer that it’s gonna be 2 hours and 21 minutes
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when u return to the same bar bathroom stall throughout the evening and it’s like awww my little pied-á-terre
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susan collins thinks she can just write her little hunger games books then ruin the chance of flipping the senate
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never wanna see another gay guy again after this weekend
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my newest idea is a show called “my mom beats me” and it’s just about what happens when i play her in tennis
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doing this with every movie
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just gave the best vanity fair interview alone to myself in my car
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being a gay guy is hard cause everyone at the club is always calling “matthew!” and it’s rarely for you
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american sports story makes zero sense to me. this event is also a crime! why couldn’t it just be a season of american crime story? is american sports story just about crimes featuring athletes? by that metric wouldn’t the people v OJ have also been an “american sports story” ??
Josh Andrés Rivera to star as Aaron Hernandez in ‘AMERICAN SPORTS STORY’ at FX.
()
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love an insane gay guy. you’re so scary, weirdo! let’s queen out!
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A lot of you may want to laugh before you listen. And that’s exactly the problem. I’m finally ready to speak. Link in bio.
#BeKind
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brandi’s name nowhere to be seen… has her reign of terror come to an end? or will she be there singing the circle game at 200% volume with an iron grip on poor joni’s wrist?
Don’t miss 9-time GRAMMY winner and past
@MusiCares
Person of the Year Joni Mitchell’s first ever
#GRAMMYs
performance! Tune-in to
@CBS
on Sunday. Feb. 4 at 8 PM ET / 5 PM PT
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the LA to NYC red-eye continues to be shameless. the country’s loudest minds all leading their own little seminars. it’s 2am, everyone’s gabbing away about absolutely nothing of value, and with such misplaced confidence. i’m on an airbus full of bethenny frankels
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just started tearing up at the thought of making an ina garten roasted chicken tonight
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"Kerr's gay son... He acted like such a little boy, and a gay one at that. I could see him trembling (because he likes boys), and his refusal to criticize Ellen says a lot."
-President Donald Trump
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dressing like this for joni mitchell at the hollywood bowl
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at the joni mitchell concert and she just brought out AG Cook!!! 😍😍😍
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i remember when i requested dancing on my own at my brother’s wedding and then this shit started playing…. oh i was mad
1,000,000,000 streams of my version of ‘Dancing On My Own’ on
@Spotify
- a ‘thank you’ just doesn’t seem grateful enough but trust me, I am. 🥹
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Hi! I’m a career strategist and have been getting a lot of questions about the highest paying jobs in LA:
1) No Vacancy lady who opens the secret door ($600k/year)
2) Weho bartender who steals your phone ($540k/year)
3) Faye Resnick ($400k/year)
4) T-shirt “designer” ($290/year)
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just learned about celebrity wife swap, but this still stands
they should do wife swap with celebrities… i wanna see bobby cannavale with like rita wilson
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absolutely obsessed with my group chat of strangers who are also named matthew kerr who check in every so often
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me laughing during a shakespeare play to let everyone know i get it
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as of this morning i have a niece and i can’t wait to be like “sorry, i can’t, i have my niece’s recital” for the next 18 years
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last night a married 25 year old told me i was too young to have a dog
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Got to write episode 2 of this season (promo art pictured below), please watch the new season on MAX!! out now!!
New CLONE HIGH has officially dropped over on MAX. 🧬 All 10 eps are up this time around so be sure to give it a watch!
So much great work done for this set of episodes from everyone across the board. I hope we get to make more! Let’s bring Gandhi back, y’all!
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“long story short” proceeds to send 2 and a half minute long voice memo
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it’s crazy newborns don’t drink water like you’ve gotta wait 6 whole months to enjoy an ice cold refreshment
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went on a pleasant walk and picked up this little circus freak
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i hate a “can you send me the photos” bitch. no! im busy playing on my phone!
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you can just tell from the trailer that it’s gonna be 2 hours and 21 minutes
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just watched a woman spend 890 dollars on candles…. she didn’t bat an eye. walked out of the store looking like that photo of beyonce holding 5 grammys. i want to be her so badly
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having a diet coke with lunch makes me feel like pic number 2
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you just know as soon as a student actually gets coronavirus they’ll be like “puppy therapy on SCA lawn! 🥰”
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gay guys when they get to dress up in little cowboy outfits and go dance in a hot room on a monday night
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thought “i’m everywhere im so julia” was in reference to julia child
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got to work on this lovely show for a very long time with the very best people and it’s finally coming out!!!!! 🥲
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this is the best day of my life
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Proud to announce that I’ve now officially run into all three Haim sisters independently. Danielle at the Black Cat and Alana and Este both at the Silver Lake Whole Foods (separate times). I’m collecting the Haim sisters like trophies. It’s a Los Angeles EGOT baby
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bf got a viral tweet before i did..... everyone please donate to my gofundme
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beefing w my dog’s daycare for having never posted her on their insta story
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kat from euphoria when the micropenis cam guy asks her to ridicule him
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challengers was fine. i only left for the bathroom twice to jerk off
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quibi rolling in its grave
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seeing little women today!!! (“little women” is what i call a warriors game) 🙂
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mom can you pick me up? the gay flight attendant and his hag are doing their little abbott and costello routine
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13 DAYS AND 67 PHONE CALLS LATER I FINALLY GOT IT BACK
car repossessed from driveway in the middle of the night because Toyota made a billing mistake ❤️
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just remembered butter pasta w/ parmesan cheese…. looks like i know what i’m doing this weekend (making butter pasta w/ parmesan cheese)
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