Worst Finance Takes
@Lifeinvestmoney
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*not financial advice… actually it’s all terrible advice! Exposing FinTwits worst takes Expected dividends: $2.79/month DMs open for submissions - *Parody*
Bad finance takes
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Pinned Tweet
I have this friend
And his wife makes $900,000/yr as an OnlyFans model
He's a stay at home dad and shitposts on Twitter all day to make $152/month
They want to buy a house but can't get approved for a mortgage because no w2
What would you tell them? 🤔
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I have an idea how to compete with AirBNB
Hear me out…
We buy a large building, split it into like 400 rooms… each room has its own bathroom, maybe a fridge.
No kitchen because who cooks on vacation anyway?
Rent each room by the night. Someone comes in the morning and
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@interesting_aIl
Imagine taking out a $13,000 loan not for a car... but to watch grown men chase each other for 4 hours
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Only on Twitter can you make $150k/yr remote 30hrs a week while being able to spend copious amounts of time with your growing family
And be made to believe you need to be doing something better with your life
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If realtors don’t want to work for less than 6%, who’s going to tell me the important facts like:
- bedroom count and square footage listed on Zillow
- hardwood floors throughout
- what a great school district it is as shown on Zillow
- why backing up to a freeway isn’t that
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@RadarHits
When your turn 18 you have to register for the draft already anyway
This is not the same as “they’re drafting 18-26 year olds” and is misleading
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@LPinFinance
Smart decision
No one has ever built wealth by holding on to real estate
Hope you're taking the difference and investing in memecoins and lottery tickets
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@money_cruncher
Not gonna lie I thought this was going to be a bait thread but this is actually very informative
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@jeremyjudkins_
Your truck is $140,000
I could get my oil changed 4,289 times to make up the price difference
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Savings accounts are literally paying you 5% to do nothing
What's stopping you from putting $3million in savings and living off $280k/yr for the rest of your life?
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@InternetH0F
Here's a crazy idea
Stop sharing personal things on social media with millions of people if you don't want unsolicited criticism
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My wife and I played a game where we both came up with a list of 3 people we get a free pass to sleep with
My list was
- Jessica Alba
- Sydney Sweeney
- Anne Hathaway
Hers was:
- The cute barista at Starbucks
- My best friend
- My brother
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Savings accounts are paying 5%
If you just put $2million in one you could have $300k every year to live on
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I have an idea how to compete with Uber
Hear me out...
We buy a bunch of cars, maybe old Crown Victorias? (I hear they're reliable)
Hire a bunch of drivers and charge people for rides
You wanna go from Brooklyn to Queens? I got you
Pricing? There will be a meter in the car
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Do crackheads say “I’m too broke to light up tonight”?
No, they get up and make it happen
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Before you complain about your life get some perspective
I have a friend who:
- Works out twice a day
- Has sex every day
- Has no financial worries
- Reads 3 books every week
Yet he still complains about being in prison
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If you just invested $10,000/month you’d be a millionaire in 7 years
Why aren’t more people doing this?
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BREAKING: Kamala's new tax plan includes taxing unrealized gains on expired Kohl's Cash
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Quit my job today
Looked my boss in the eye and said "I have FU money so FU, I'm going to start a landscaping, powerwashing, house flipping self storage business and then write and e-book showing others how to do the same!"
Can't wait to start on Monday
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Savings accounts are paying 5%
If you just put $2million in one you could have $600k every year to live on
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After being active on Twitter for a bit, I realize I'm a failure because I haven't made millions on
- Gas stations
- Single family homes
- Multi-family homes
- Dumpster rentals
- Car washed
- UPS stores
- Turo rentals
And everyone on here is a millionaire from those so it must
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Instead of going to work today you could:
- Clean your neighbor's trash bins
- Charge $150 each
- Do 20 a day
- Make $900,000/yr
Why aren't more people doing this?
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@HeroDividend
Thank god, that thing looked gross!
Come to think of it my grandma has one just like it… I’m gonna wash it for her
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I have this friend
And his wife makes $900,000/yr as an OnlyFans model
He's a stay at home dad and shitposts on Twitter all day to make $152/month
They want to buy a house but can't get approved for a mortgage because no w2
What would you tell them? 🤔
1K
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787
@WallStreetSilv
Who would have guessed a bunch of straight men getting the same magazine full of half-naked women for 30+ years don't want to see a half-naked man?
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My EV battery in my Tesla died yesterday
And dealer wanted $12,000 to replace it and my crackhead neighbor who’s a mechanic wanted $300
So I went on YouTube learned how to do it myself, electrocuted myself and spent the night in the hospital
Got the battery in but now I have
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Before you complain about your life get some perspective
I have a friend who:
- Works out twice a day
- Has sex every day
- Has no financial worries
- Reads 3 books every week
Yet he still complains about being in prison
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Talking to a guy at a barbecue
He’s worth $62million but owns a paid off home
Another one stuck in the golden handcuffs of home ownership
Felt bad for him
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I know the Toyota Corolla is the car of millionaires
So I went and bought one
$39,500, rolled over some negative equity, got a nice 19% loan and only have to pay $1,050/month for this beauty
Why aren’t more people doing this?
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@InternetH0F
Was thinking the same thing when I saw this
Who’s saving celebrities in their phones??
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Made my last car payment today!
It’s not paid off… I’m just not going to pay it anymore
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@HeroDividend
Go to the nicest restaurant, wait for someone to get up and go to the restroom
Then sit down in their seat, eat their food and claim squatters rights
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Twitter Jail was rough!
I dropped the soap 4 times!
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I told my son that he could live with us after college but had to pay rent. After 16 months, he moved out today.
I showed up at his new apartment with all the rent he's paid and said "See all this money? This is why you shouldn't be a sucker and rent your whole life"
Then
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Just bought my first Airbnb and have guest staying in it now
Anyone know how I get a Nest thermostat to lock at 85* so they can’t change it?
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@InternetH0F
Hopefully the time is coming closer where people realize these food delivery apps are garbage and a giant waste of money
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If realtors don’t want to work for less than 6%, who’s going to tell me the important facts like:
- bedroom count and square footage listed on Zillow
- hardwood floors throughout
- what a great school district it is as shown on Zillow
- why backing up to a freeway isn’t
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When you're having a bad day just remember...
There's someone out there paying $1200/month to drive a Jeep
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Today I'm worth $20million
Here's how I did it:
- Wake up at 5am every day
- Cold showers twice/day
- Meditate 2x per day
- Daily mindset routine
- Married a girl who inherited $20million
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There are grown men driving this hideous $140,000 monstrosity talking about how they save money not changing oil…
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I was the best man at my buddy's second wedding last night
He got mad because I opened my speech with "Welcome back everyone"
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@sweatystartup
Ah this post did well
I’m gonna take a video of me throwing my kids ice cream in the trash to teach them about bullies and see how it does
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I don't care what anyone says
Owning a dog is 100% the same as having a kid
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Grown men will drive this 3 miles a day to pick their kids up from school
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Please don't smoke when you're pregnant it's so irresponsible
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I’ve been on Ozempic for 4 months now guys and the transformation is astonishing
I almost can’t believe it’s still me
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I hire out everything
- yard work
- cooking
- cleaning
- pleasing my wife
- playing with my kids
I know what my time is worth
I don't get why every dad in my neighborhood is doing yard work today.
I'll hire all of that shit out. I'm not spending my Saturday mornings doing chores.
• If I'm working, I'm doing something $$ productive
• If I'm not working, I'm not doing freaking yard work
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Have you guys ever thought about just marrying rich?
Seems easier than buying dividend stocks $18 at a time
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3 years ago I became broke and my wife left me
Last year I built a $27million business and now my wife is back!
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@EbenerNick
If only there was like a checklist you could see to make sure you call these people yourself…
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@GuyDealership
But why?
I'd much rather spend all afternoon drinking cold, bad coffee while trying to get my wifi to connect for the 9th time, only to be told at 5:30pm my car won't be ready until tomorrow and I'll need a ride home... and they're closing... now
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It’s official, recession is here
Drove by Chick Fil A and there were ZERO cars in the drive thru
It’s been a good run but I’m selling it all at Monday opening bell
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Saw a job listing for a nurse near me
The pay started at $42/hr
$42/hr for unskilled labor?! What world are we living in?
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What the heck Starbucks??
I ordered a simple Venti Caramel Crunch frap with 5 banana extra caramel extra whip extra ice extra cinnamon 7 pumps caramel extra crunch 1 pump honey extra brownie batter 5 pumps coffee frap 7 frap chips heavy cream and double blended
And they only
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My mentor of 10 years is living his last days out
Went to visit him and asked for 1 piece of advice
I'll never forget what he told me
"Take those 80hrs a week you're working and double that. Focus on what's important: Money"
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I don't care what anyone says
Having a dog is 100% the same as having a kid
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Let’s be honest
Only reason high-waisted jeans are fashionable is because most women are overweight
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Becoming a millionaire and retiring early is easy
Here's how I did it:
- Wake up at 5am every day
- 2 cold showers each day
- Daily affirmations
- Inherited $10million from my dad
- Make my own coffee at home
Why aren't more people doing this?
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@brockoli65004
I immediately told her $6/day for coffee is insane and we bought a $4,500 espresso maker that night
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How I live in $18,000/year
1. I live at home and my mom pays for everything
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My mentor of 10 years is living his last days out
Went to visit him and asked for 1 piece of advice
I'll never forget what he told me
"Take those 80hrs a week you're working and double that. Focus on what's important: Money"
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Guys can literally:
- Buy 10 Lambos
- Rent them on Turo
- Cash flow $30k/month
Why aren’t more people doing this?
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@TheDrugMoney
Ball washer
Use it every day to clean basketballs, soccer balls, baseballs, footballs... oh and testicles
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Karen from HR told me I can't heat up my leftover salmon in the breakroom microwave
Guess who just got reported to Boeing as a whistleblower?
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Company switched to WFH (work from home)
That's ok, I can setup the same fast-paced team environment from anywhere
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Unpopular opinion:
Having a dog is basically the same thing as having a kid
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How much are you guys tipping your gas pump? 🤔
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I told my son that he could live with us after college but had to pay rent. After 16 months, he moved out today.
I showed up at his new apartment with all the rent he's paid and said "See all this money? This is why you shouldn't be a sucker and rent your whole life"
Then I
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Forget about student loans
Who's with me to cancel mortgage loans?? 🙋♂️
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Quit my job today
Looked my boss in the eye and said "I have FU money so FU, I'm going to start a landscaping, powerwashing, house flipping self storage business and then write and e-book showing others how to do the same!"
Can't wait to start on Monday
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